The love of a blade.

"Why do you do it to yourself?" I ask,
"Because I'm punishing myself for never being good enough,"
That day Scarlett Harper didnt know she would bump into 'the one', literally, she was just trying to get to school. When the worlds biggest boyband attend her school for the rest of term and trys to stop her from her life changing habbit, will she listen or carry on being the musician with a twist. Her strings as her arm and her bow the blade.
With loosing both her parents, she hasnt learnt to trust anyone let alone love them. Will she open her heart or will it stay closed for the person that should mean the world to her?

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5. Chapter 4 - Conversation

Zayns P.O.V.

"Scarlett..." I start after sitting down next to her on the white and blue bed covers in the middle of her small box room. Looking into her sparkling emerald eyes until she flicks them down and plays with her fingers. Focusing on a spot on the capret I continue, "Why do you do it?" With that she stops playing with her fingers before sighing.

"Do what?" She asks before playing with a lock of hair.

"Fuck sake, Scarlett, don't act fucking stupid with me," I snap looking into her mesmerising, sad, emerald eyes which are now showing a glimmer of fear from my sudden out burst, "Sorry."  I mumble finding the spot on the carpet again.

"S'alright." She mumbled moving around so she's now sitting crossed legged on the double bed.

"Why do you do it to yourself?" I ask, curiously looking up at her for a split second.

"Because I'm punishing myself for never being good enough," She replies simply in a quiet voice.

"Why do you do it though?" I ask still focusing on the spot on the carpet.

"Shit happens, you grow up learning life's a bitch." She mumbles, playing with a golden shamrock chain that lays on her neck. 

"Why? What happened?" I ask now copying her sitting position so it feels like a 10 year old sleepover gossiping about who likes who, yet it's more seriouse than that. 

"People who you thought would be there forever, leaves you when life's at its worst," She replies shrugging it off, looking me dead in the eyes. I stay looking at her, wanting to know more, leaning in to encourege her to carry on. Soon enough she catches on and continues, this time looking down at her bed sheets, "When I was young, well shortly after I was born, my mum decided she didn't want me. So she decided to leave me and my dad with out a second look. We got along with life perfectly fine, he was like my bestfriend. Of course we moved a couple of times because of his job so I moved schools, but I would always find new friends but none compared to him," By now she had tears in her eyes that are threatening to spill over to her rosy cheeks, "When I was 11 he was diagnosed with lung cancer and 2 years later, when I was 13, he left me. Along with all my friends, they didn't want to deal with someone who's broken. When I moved to the care home before this one I got out of hand. I started fights, smoking, skipping days off school, all just to feel something other than the pain in my heart. I wanted to live, instead of being under a black cloud of depression, I wanted to feel adrenalin, pain something other than this numbness from his passing. The only things that I tried and worked are self harm and drinking. Soon enough I got moved here because they're strickter here than the other place. Plus they wanted me to start a 'fresh canvus' so here I am. Soon though Emily came, she reminds me of how I was before everything got turned upside down. She got me into playing the guitar and singing, also drawing. She shows me a diffrent light to loads of things, more than I can list. People here still hate me but you learn to live with it," She finishes brushing the few tears that fell away with her sleve, "Sorry I haven't told anyone all that before." mumbling looking down. Even through her hair that's hiding most of her face I can see a small smile itched on her soft, plump, pink lips. 

"It's alright," I whisper wiping a tear away that's fallen from her emerald orbs, "Can I?" I ask indicating towards her sleve. In responce she nods and holds it out. Rolling up her sleve carefully to her elbow. When I gave her forearm a proper look I let out a gasp. It's covered with diffrent carvings some deep and short, others deep and long, some are shot and light or, long and light. Some in diffrent directions, some spelt out words like 'worthless' or 'pathetic' others I can't read. The newer ones still have scabs and a angry red colour but older ones still showing their mark by leaving a faint white reminder that they're there.

Some where inside me wants to hold her and kiss all the pain away, even though I've only known her a few hours. 

After a few minuets of comfortable silence Scarlett spoke up, " Sorry, I shouldn't be showing you this," She mumbles pulling her sleve back down, "I don't even know your name and I'm telling you my life story. Sorry." Playing with the hem of her sleves. 

"Zayn, Zayn Malik." I say holding out my hand copying the way she introduced herself this morning. Giggling she shook my hand sending electric shocks up my arm. Ignoring them I just say the first thing that comes to mind, "Promise me you won't do it again."

"Huh?" Looking up still holding onto my hand.

"Cut. Promise me you won't do it again." I say looking into her beautiful eyes. 

"I-I can't," Pulling her hand away, and playing with the golden shamrock again.

"Please. I'm here for the full term, I'll help you as much as you need. Even when I'm gone I'll still help, all I'll ever be is a phone call away. When ever, even if it's at 3 in the morning I'll still help, yeah?" I whisper moving closer lifting her chin up so she's looking me in the eyes.

Pulling away and looking towards the window where a tiny balcony is held with an old tree on the other side, "Why do you wanna help me?" She asks looking back to me and whispering, "No one ever wanted to before." 

"I don't really know," Chuckling, "There's just a feeling that I should protect you." I mumble feeling embarrassed turning my gaze to my 'pow' tatoo. Looking through my lashes I can see her smirking with a crimson tinge to her cheeks, "So, urhh, you don't know about me and the boys huh?" I say quickly saving us both from further embarrassment. 

"Nada," She says looking up also, still having red cheeks. With this she looks interested in what I'm saying, having a cirtain eagerness in her eyes. 

"Well, we're in a band, One Direction, the biggest boyband since the beatles. We formed a few years ago in the x-factor, all orgianally solo acts but we were put together in both camp." With that she looks pretty shocked. 

"It all makes sence now. The screaming, the black cars, in music, how all the girls gave me death stares when I spoke to you guys at lunch, the manic cleaning the past week, Annabells petty remarks." She says smiling as if she's found out there's gold in her wardrobe. 

"Ahaa, yeah. There's me and Liam that you know. Harry's the curly flirt, Niall is the Irish one who eats ALOT, and Louis-" 

"Likes girls who eat carrots," The man him self interupts joining our little circle, "Zaynie, you're taking FOREVER, can I join?" He asks copying our position on the bed.

"Sure," I mumble, "I was just explaining to her who we are." I explain looking between Scarlett and Lou who are also flicking their gaze between each other and me.

"Well, I'm Louis the Tommo Tomlinson." Louis states holding his hand out.

"Nice to meet you Louis the Tommo Tomlinson. I'm Scarlett, not the insterment Harper." She says shaking his hand.

Soon all the boys and Emily are sitting on her double bed. I'm sitting next to Scarlett with Emily the other side of her, then it's Louis, Harry, Liam and Niall. Sitting comfortably talking and joking, on a pg level for Emily's ears, about anything and everything.

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