Dear diary....Love,Harry

Bacially just 18 year old harry writing about his life to his diary. About drugs, bulling, love, cutting, alcohol, sex. Anything.

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2. 03-03-2012

Dear diary.

Umm well the meeting with louis, it went well but.

But his friends didn't seem to like me, they all look so good and anything. But louis reassured me that I looked good too, even tho his friend pushed me around and ruffled my curls like everyone else. They also broke my glasses, I have louis' reading glasses now. But I talked to mum and I'm getting contact lenses now.

I don't get why life is so unfair, you know. I don't feel like it's treating me right. Like it want me in pain one moment and then alright the next.

I DONT GET IT.

Like I want to go, but in the other way there are things that keep me here.

First, is mum of course. She is just amazing and she listens to me. She understands me in the way no one have

Secondly, the future. Like what would it bring, what if I find someone who fixes me and makes me happy again, like young Harry.

Thirdly, there is so much I haven't experience in this world. I just need to get out of collage and I'm of.

If I make it so long of course...

I'm sat in the bathroom. Mum aren't home. She aren't going to be for the next two days, something with work I think she said. I already miss her. Like a lot, I miss mum.

That's why I have the razor in my hand, because I miss her. I need someone to comfort me and tell me anything is going to be alright. But after last night, with louis' friends. I don't know.

They were so cruel you can't believe, and they all looked so good. With their fashion sense and anything. Then I was there, Harry. In my over sized sweater and black skinny jeans. With my curls messy and everywhere. Spots on my forehead. Those boys, they were just perfect. Like, I don't know. But I bet they are popular and wouldn't want to hang out with a loser like me.

I left early, louis did offer me to drive me home, but I told him just to stay
And enjoy the time with his friends.

I ended up walking home in the rain, in only my sweater. I did regret a little, that I didn't take louis' offer, but I wouldn't want to bother him.

But cutting helps you know. Just a little bit, it's like the pain gets out and I feel a little better.

Should I write to louis later? What if he doesn't want to talk to me. Because him thinks I'm a loser?

I laid the razor away, in it's hiding spot. It would be stupid to start again, wouldn't it. I'm going into mums bed now, to sleep there tonight.

Love, Harry

Shit you know what louis just called, it's a few hours later, but he called and asked if I was alright. You know because of the rain. He is so nice you can't believe it.

He told me to keep the glasses, as a sorry. I'm actually smiling, I'm smiling because of someone else than mum.

Goodnight I'll go dream of louis. Hihi.
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