Resplendent Enchantment

The title is ironic.

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21. Lost

Now you're lost, lost in the heat of it all. Girl you know you're lost, lost in the thrill of it all. (Frank Ocean, Lost)

I've been listening to Frank for the past couple of.. hours now? It's Saturday morning, I haven't really slept because my mind is just everywhere. I understand what happened, everything. It just doesn't make sense almost. How can Harry want Zayn to stay away from me and almost beat the shit out of him, then say we're done? He was meant to stay. 
I finally fell asleep around 11 in the morning and oh how I love getting interrupted, my phone started to chime. I swear on my own life if it's an unknown number I will shoot myself.. it's Zayn. Just the person I wanted to talk to at this point in time, not. I rolled my eyes and opened the text.

********************

From: Zayn
Message: alex we need to talk, can i come over?

********************

Well, no, not really. I'm not in the mood to reply and I'm defiantly not in the mood for him. I slowly but surely fell back into a peaceful, deep slumber. 

*BANG BANG BANG*

"WHAT?!" I jumped off my bed with my eyes still closed. What was that? I tripped to the front door and I could see a shadow from under the door frame. I snuck up to the peep hole and peaked to see a quiff, Zayn, great. Did I say you could come over? I was just about to walk away from the door when,
"Alex, I can see your shadow too. Please open up." UGH.
"And if I say no?"
"I know there's a spare key out here somewhere." DOUBLE UGH.
"I could call the cops..?"
"For what? I'm technically not breaking in and entering." TRIPLE UGH. 
I slowly unlocked the main door and stared at Zayn through the screen door, "Yes?" 
"We need to talk."
"About..?"
"Things."
"Like..?"
"Let me in, please, Al." 
There was something about this boy that made me cave in, I had a soft spot for him, no reason why though. I guess it was his sparkling eyes, or his perfectly curved smile. Maybe it was the way he looked at me, or.. I don't know. I opened the screen door and he slowly walked in. I lead him to the lounge room and we sat down. 
"So..?" I question him.
"I need to clear my mind. And the only way I could do this, was by letting it all out.. with you." 
"Proceed.." I have no idea where this is going, I don't care. Well, I actually do, girl logic.
"Al, I really really like you." You WHAAAT?! I looked like a deer in headlight, my jaw dropped, eyes wide and I was speechless. "I know I've been a real ass, but I want us to start fresh."
"Fresh?" It sounded good, starting fresh. "Mm, Zayn, I don't know." 
"Listen."
"Talk."
"Al, I wrote Little Things, the song that Harry sang to you. I left it in his mailbox because I knew it would be wrong of me to sing it. I know that me confronting you at the concert and even me coming here now is wrong, but I don't know what's right. Anything and everything I do is considered bad and I feel so out of place, so lost. But you, you make feel like I belong. No matter how I treat you or what I've done to you, you've always been there. And I don't know why, if I were you, I'd be a complete bitch toward me!" He was very touching, but I didn't know how to feel. "I just want to go like 10 steps back, you know the night of my party?" 
"Yeah.. what about it?" 
"Well, I'm sorry. That's all I can say but, nothing happened between us. And I know this is what tore you and Harry apart but I didn't know what to say. I just thought, I wasn't thinking, I was thinking of me. I'm sorry for all the pain I've caused you." 
"You. Bastard. How could you DO THAT TO ME?! HOW COULD YOU NOT TELL ME NOTHING HAPPENED?! DO YOU REALIZE THAT I LOST MY HARRY BECAUSE OF YOU?!"
"Yes, I know but Alex, I did what was best for all of us." I was breathing quite heavily because I was that angry that I wanted to call Harry and let him smash Zayn's face in, but on the other hand I could just do it myself. 
"Then what about the pictures? Harry received pictures of us and that's how he found out.."
"I don't know what you're talking about." 
"Hm." 

 

Me and Zayn continued to have probably the best deep and meaningful conversation for hours. We went through tears, laughter, anger, happiness and so many other emotions within that time, it was amazing. We had just finished laughing over a childhood story Zayn told me, something about him pulling pranks on his sisters. 
"Ahahahaha, ohh, Alex." 
"Ahh, Zayn." I almost started crying from laughter, but I managed t hold it it. 
"This was great." Zayn smiled, trying to contain the rest of his laughter.
"Yeah. You're actually not a bad guy, Zayn. I totally miss judged you." I managed to contain my laughter, and my bladder. 
"I miss judged you to Alex, I guess were somewhat even." He smiled, his smile is so sexy, he wrapped one of his hands around the side of his neck, and sat there, smiling his attractive half smile revealing only half of his teeth. "On a serious note, Alex, I'm gonna ask straight up, do you like me?" 
"Yes. No. Do I? I think so.." So many different answers came racing out of my mouth. 
Zayn laughed, "Theoretically, would you ever consider, I don't know, dating me?" 
"YES." I covered my mouth. Zayn started to blush and it was so cute. 
"Alex, then would you?"
"Uh..what?" 

"Would you.. go out with, erm.. me?" 
"Oh." Well this is awkward, "Suure?" Again, I was questioning my own answer. 
Zayn smiled, "So we're.. official?" 
"Yeah." I politely smiled.

Zayn looked at his watch, "Shit! I have to run."
"Oh, okay. What's the time?" 
"It's 4 in the arvo."
"Woah, you've been here for like, 4 to 5 hours." 
"C'ya, tomorrow?" 
"Yeah, whatever." I smiled and walked Zayn to the front door. I really don't know what just happened. 
  

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