Always There

Follow the main characters as they go on their own paths through life while struggling with their own inner battles.
Alisha Reynolds: A spunky keep-to-herself kind of gal. She likes having someone who at least acknowledges her existence. Moonlit walks and dark chocolate are romantic but too much can sufficate her.
Brandon: A proud bi-sexual, he constantly puts up face with the other kids. Meanwhile at home his family is falling apart. Still he attempts to prevail.


8. Alisha

There was still no reply. None. It had been well over a day. I held my hand. The pain still wracked it though not as often. I found it a comfort really. It honestly meant that I could live. That I could feel something other than guilt.

My father wasn’t necessarily happy with my decision to drop out of summer school. Neither was I. I did tell him I’d finish off the week and see how I’d feel afterwards (mainly to see if there was any hope for me and John). I couldn’t stand being away from him, but I didn’t want to be there and have him hate me either.

So I compromised with my dad. I can literally say that is a huge deal (tremendous, extraordinary really). We never really talk about anything to each other(at all), so that’s a big accomplishment in itself. The church incident kinda did make me feel like I was being harsh to my dad so I went and talked to him about this one thing and all of a sudden our relationship is tons better, and I don’t want it to change for the worse either.

I sent a prayer up to the lord (yea I know, now I’m praying all the time) apologizing for my rude behavior in church. Something no one really deserved. I don’t really know if he forgave me though. I’m still kinda deciding whether or not to go to Brandon’s today. Maybe he’ll forgive me for running away. Then there’s my teacher.

I threw myself onto the couch hoping for some relief, but the scratchy surface didn’t provide any help for my cause. At least I could relax slightly. Just lay there and take a nap. But alas naps and sleep were futile to me.

Turning to the last resort, I flicked a button and the TV popped on. Searching through the shows I came across nothing that interested me. Then I saw it. It was some small teenage girl. She looked to be about my age. Her mother had died a few years ago, and she had made the same mistakes as me. Kissed her best friend, had sex with a teacher, and was a complete and utter mess. The difference between us was that she had gone for help.

The disturbing fact had me crying and turning off the television. Throwing the remote at the screen I was once again left in limbo. Where was I to turn? Brandon. I had made plans to go to his house earlier hadn’t I? Now, when I needed him the most, I had to go. There was no other choice.

Walking across the house I opened the door to my father’s bedroom. He was still fast asleep. I smiled at his ability to catch a couple of ‘z’s. A talent I had the fortune to not pick up. I didn’t have the heart to wake him. Instead I went and found paper and a pen.

Dad. 10.7.12
It’s me. Alisha. Your daughter. Yeah, I just thought you should know I won’t be here when you wake up. No, I’m not running away. It’s just that I won’t be here. I’m going to a friend’s house and I don’t know when I’ll be back so yea. Just didn’t want you to worry your head off about where I have been.
Alisha R.

After reading it over I approved it. There were no spelling errors, no grammatical errors. Well I took that back. There were some sentence fragments but I didn’t think he would care. Folding it neatly in half, I slipped it in the door jam enough so that it would not fall.

After grabbing my jacket I met the chilly outdoors.

The sun was barely beginning to shine and the cool fresh air chased away my doubts and fears. Smiling, I just stood there for a few minutes. New birds and old birds were singing alike. A melodic harmony. It was a sweet, soft, and gentle sound. A welcoming few minutes that gave me a chance to finally enjoy life. A chance that was taken away from me for a while now.

I took my first step towards Brandon’s house and instantly I felt a great weight lifted off of my shoulders. The same path felt so familiar, so right, I couldn’t help but being in high spirits. We had had so many good times along this very same pathway. We had our arguments sure, but they were petty and we often walked back laughing.

A smile made its rightful way to my face. Confidence replaced the guilty agony inside my chest. My strides were stronger, longer, happier. I could feel the sun beating down on me and suddenly I stopped.

Thank you.

It was a silent prayer. I knew he had forgiven me. My sins weren’t unforgivable. The thought only enlightened my mood. Like the hesitant second never happened, my feet gained momentum.It was like nothing could ruin my mood.

I looked towards my shadow, stretching to reach cracks in the pavement further up ahead. Like me with a high self-esteem wasn’t enough to protect me from the dangers of my past. My past. Past. It was funny how my past could count as just a few days ago.

It was as if each crack and crease in the pavement was a scar on my life or somebody else’s life. I could list too many to count. Like the incident with my teacher, disrespect to my family, running away from Brandon. My steps faltered slightly.

Brandon. I still didn’t understand the relationship between us. I ran away from him, I ran away from my teacher and I went back to my teacher. So why hadn’t I already gone back to him? I’ve known Brandon for how many years now? But I’ve only known my summer school teacher for the last month.
Maybe because my teacher and I hadn’t really known each other. Brandon knew everything about me and I was perfectly comfortable with being just friends with him. Someone I could tell anything and everything to. Does that mean it had to change?

Looking back I realize that nothing really did change, but yet everything wasn’t going to be the same. If we started dating I believe I’d feel comfortable with breaking up with him if anything wen that way. . I can honestly think that we’ve got that sort of relationship where both of us wouldn’t really change if we did break up. So why didn’t I go back?

If the reason was fear for running the relationship, that is way over now. Halfway there, I opened my eyes for the first time. Not open and see things, but I really did open them. I saw things in a completely different way now. I grew up mentally, and in some ways proved to myself just how unready I was for sex. I know I shouldn’t have done it, but there’s nothing I can do to change it.

That’s the beauty of a new start. A fresh walk outside. Being forgiven. You can accept that something happened and then you can do one of two things. You can learn from it and move on, or you can learn from it and punish yourself for the rest of your life. Well I chose to do the first option. I wasn’t a virgin anymore. So what? I guarantee I am not the only teen out there who doesn’t have their virginity. If I am then something has to be majorly wrong.

That idea made me feel loads better already. It was good to know that you were not the only one stuck in a predicament. New paradigms always helped me. It gave me inspiration and hope to continue then and it does now.

Just thinking of how high spirited I was now and the use of vocabulary assured me that everything was going to be fine. I was going to live through this and my best friend would be there with me too. We could last forever, friends or otherwise. I wouldn’t ignored him or run away from him like that again.

It wasn’t fair to him. He’s been there for me how many times? Me running away, I can only imagine how hard of a hit that had to emotionally be. Something I never wanted to cause him. Pain is a horrible thing. To not have that one person you trusted the most there to help you through it. I sighed, this pain was something that I was originally trying to avoid. Now to find out that he had gone through it anyways, it tore me out from the inside.

Running. One of my vices. Tears flowed steadily. I had to find him. Find Brandon and fix this. Him in pain because of me wasn’t the way it was supposed to be (hey I rhymed! Can you say future poet? Oh yeah!) . I was running towards his house, eager to prove him not the only one interested in taking things much further.

My breath wouldn’t come to me at this speed so I had to book it. I couldn’t stop running and the moment I did would be the moment that I collapsed to the ground in hyperventilation or when I finally reached his house. That would be the only time I stopped. When I knew that things between us weren’t as raw and tender. It wasn’t supposed to be this guilty and awful feeling between us. It wasn’t before and shouldn’t be now or ever.

Confident strides turned from short strokes to long brisk runs. I wasn’t ever going to move fast enough. Even now when I was going as humanly fast as possible, he seemed too far away. I could have the speed of a cheetah, but even that would be too slow until I saw him. A race car going two hundred and fifty miles would forever never be enough.

The wind from my speed pushed my hair out of my face so that I could see clearly. My eyes stung from the air and the tears only flowed faster. Determination pressed me forward and then I saw the house to which used to be the home of my best friend.

I say used to because it seemed as if no one was home. There was a grayish feeling to the environment. With my hands on my knees, I slowly assessed the place while catching my breath. There was no sign to show that there had been any form of activity inside the place for some time. I looked in the garage and noticed that nobody was home.

Ok so they weren’t home at the moment. That didn’t mean I couldn’t wait for them to get back. I’d wait forever for him if I had too. Travel back and forth for the necessary food and clothing, but I’d always come back. I didn’t run here to tell just a wall that I love it. Because that would be a lie.

I loved him.

“I love Brandon Americks.” The saying felt good. It rolled perfectly off of my lips. I could say it forever. He didn’t have to, but now I would say nothing else.

“I Brandon Americks.” It was more of a whisper now. Like I was still testing them, weighing their virtue. That’s when I stood up and threw my arms out wide, “I LOVE BRANDON AMERICKS!!” I screamed.

I didn’t care that the world knew. I was his and hopefully he would be mine. Now to just sit and wait for him so he knew this.

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