15 Ways To Fix A Broken Heart

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  • Published: 12 Mar 2013
  • Updated: 10 Apr 2013
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I was, and still are, weird. Yes, my friends are the craziest people you'll ever meet. And yes, I was proud of that small insignificat fact. I thought he was too. But he wasn't, his type never are. I was played with and then made to be broken. Then I found it, The Book. It healed me, this simple book with 15 ways to fix a broken heart.
Copyright (C)
*For the World Book Day App Competition*

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1. Levi

You can hear anything when you're this quiet.

Right now I can hear my parents in the living room arguing about the bills, debating on whether or not we'll have this place next year. No doubt my mother is running her hand through her short hair as my father makes that irritated face he makes so often now.

I can hear my sister listening to one of her billion favourite boybands in her bunkbed across from me. My sister's currently very boyband crazy as she obsessively declares that the boys at her school are no comparison to them.

I ignore the sounds and focus on my brother. He's sleeping on the bed under my sister's. I can hear the soft inhalation and exaltation his delicate lungs make. He has asthma, the poor kid, and he's frighteningly fragile for his seven years.

All around me I can hear life, but I can't hear the life inside myself.

Lewis.

Gosh, how could I be so stupid? So naive? So guilible? My eyes release so many hot tears until I'm positive that I'm drowning in them. I gather my knees and hug them until I'm in a ball position on my bed, the tears falling into my hair and my mouth.

I love you," he whispered to me, always whispering. Now I know why he would always whisper, he didn't want anyone to hear him. More tears, more cursing. Luckily I refrain from making the strangled noise my throat makes so often now.

"Why me?"  I asked after he told me loved me. I remember feeling giddy with pleasure, now I'm heavy with regret.

"Because you're beautiful, and smart and..."  the list went on and on until I kissed his lips shut. I was stupid. Utterly, irrevocably, undeniably stupid. I pull myself in tighter as a harsher memory resurfaces. Thursday, after school, homeroom.

"Give me the money, it's been an entire three months," urged Lewis to Joshua, unaware that I was standing by the door.

"Fine, I'm only doing this because I feel bad for you, man. Dating Levi? Must've been torture," smirked Joshua after he forked over the money. Lewis just smiled.

"Was utter torture. Levi actually believed all the crap I fed her," he laughed while walking towards the door. I press myself against the wall behind the door, waiting for Joshua's reply. Footsteps creeped closer and my heart pounded in my chest, determined to break out and get stomped all over like it's getting now.

"You sure you weren't acting?" joked Joshua.

"Definitely, Levi was just unbearable sometimes. Wouldn't shut up about her 'amazing' friends," he howls.

"Amazing? They're a joke! Did you see what they were doing during free period? Their whole lot are a bunch of freaks," Joshua laughed while Lewis just stood there, laughing like it was the funniest thing in the world.

That's the point where I ran home and cried in the bathroom for an hour. Of course, no one just spends an hour in the bathroom. I passed it off as taking a shower so mom wouldn't ask questions.

My nose is running like crazy and I rub it hastily on my sleeve, being careful not to sniff too loudly. My hair is matted in clumps around my cheeks where the tears plaster them there. I know it couldn't be love, not at my sixteen years but being with Lewis felt like something dangerously close to it. And it was all a lie, a bet. My heart was made to be broken and it is.

Lewis.

The name repests itself inside my head like Lucifer himself is saying them, driving me to the brink.

"Just pray that things'll get better, Levi," my mom told me a few weeks prior to tonight, "Just pray."

Well I did. Every night I prayed that this pain, this terrible, hideous pain would go away. Would leave. That the pain would just leave me alone. But it's still here, after all this time, it's still here. Still banging down onto my chest.  Still demanding every little piece of me everyday. And I'm sure it will be, would still be demanding more pieces of me until there are simply no pieces left.

"Thank you Lewis," I quietly whisper while conjuring up his face behind my closed eyelids,"Thank you for playing me as the fool, I hope your thirty bucks was worth it." And with that I stretch out and fall asleep.

*

I take my battered copy of The Red River Runs by Aleksandra O'Connor out and plop down onto my desk. Its thousand pages causing the desk to creak and groan under it's weight.

"Oh, shut up," I whisper to it and the desk shuts up.

"Levi, who're you talking to?" asks Sia, my best friend, from across me. She cocks an eyebrow at me and I shrug.

"No one. My desk won't shut up though," I say gesturing towards my spindly desk.

"Well, what'd you expect? Our school is poorer than most developing countries," she scoffs. I crack a small smile.

"You're not wrong," I say as I look around at our crowded english room. The beige paint is peeling off the walls and a cold draft explores the classroom. I shiver in my blue hoodie, canvassing the rows upon rows of rowdy students, laughing, playfully teasing each other, shoving each other even. The normalcy is palpable and I wish so much to be a part of it all.

I shift my gaze over to Rickson and the guys, sitting slightly in front of us. His black hair sticks out in all directions, as does the rest of the guy's hair, and his eyes are focused on one thing, Sylvie. Otherwise known as the love of his life. Sia and I walk over to them and I cough slightly to get Rickson's attention. He quickly glances my way, which is lucky since Sylvie is the only thing he looks at, with eyes begging me to hurry up and spit out what I want to say.

"Stop drooling," I tease but that sounds weak, even to my own ears. Sia stops talking to Chris, one of our best guy friends, to critise my lame joke.

"'Stop drooling?' Levi, I expect better jokes from you," she says with mock disappointment. I stick out my tongue and scrunch up my nose, knowing they’ll all laugh.

"Like you can do better," I say but I know she can, while my jokes are mildly offensive hers are massively painful. And true, that's probably why they're funny. Sammi and Maria gather more chairs around us and our whole little gang is here.

There's Sia, she's crazy but in a cool, fun way. Although she can be funny you need to make sure you don't mess with her, she'll kick the crap out of you. Then there's Rickson, the gamer. Has a huge crush on Sylvie, he can't be in the same conversation with her without blushing. Across Rick is Chris, the judo champ. He's nice, slightly maniacal, but he only acts that way to show he cares. Beside Chris is Jason. Only one word can describe him: awkward. And not the cute, clumsy kind, Jason’s the “what the fuck did you do?” kind of awkward.  There's also John, the artist. He can draw a picture of someone with a broken leg and make it look so beautiful that you'll want to break your leg too. Sammi and Maria are joined at the hip, endlessly calling each other "twins" and are the most popular in our group.

"What's up guys?" asks Maria, ukelele in hand. Ever since introducing them to the student body (courtesy of Maria), ukuleles can literally be seen in every girl’s hand, in any classroom. It drives me and Sia crazy.

"Ricky here is still obsessing over Sylvie," Chris snorts. Rick smacks him on the arm as Slyvie turns around. Ricky’s crush on Sylvie is a typical high school dilemma; everyone knows he likes her, except for her.

"Guys leave him alone," Sammi says, silencing the rest of the guys. I smile with the rest of them but it still feels forced, unatural. I shake it off just in time to catch Rick's reaction. You got this, I say inside my head, grasping onto positivity for dear life, you got this.

I laugh for the first real time since the breakup, and he walks in.

Lewis. Dark hair and snapping eyes finding me when I'd rather not be found. I don't have this, the positivity evaporating from me so quickly I have to make sure I had it at all in the first place.

Lewis, the guy who had to date me for a bet. Who fed me on nothing but lies while I gladly believed them. Who thought my friends were freaks. Who I wish would just leave, and take every single memory with him. He catches my eye and smirks, his full lips mocking me when, just eight months ago, they told me he loved me. And nothing else lingers but anger, anger and regret.

"Levi? Did you hear me? What did you get on your test?" Maria asks while waving her pink ukelele in my face. I tear my gaze away from Lewis and plaster on a fake smile.

"Perfect score," I answer hollowly while the guys shrug with envy.

"Same here," she smiles. Back then I would've smiled and said as we always do, "We're so smooth",  but now the phrase lost all its humour. That's another thing Lewis took, my humour.

"Lewis brought you down?" Chris asks teasingly. I shake my head as if to say that he went too far, because he did. That was too far. My friends know what happened between us, they know that it was all a bet. And they know that I'm still cut up about it.

"Levi, I'm sorry," he starts as the rest of them hold their breaths in.

"It's fine, just leave it," I say waving him off. He looks as if he wants to say something more, but just shakes his head and keeps quiet. I’m glad. I seriously don’t want more apologies, more pitying looks. I don’t want them to think that I’m some kicked puppy, crying for its owner.

Mrs.Nona walks in as the rest of us get in our proper seats. Chris mouths 'I'm sorry'  to me from in front but I just stare back, completely obliviate.

"Okay class, shall we get to your riveting The Red River Runs homework?" she asks while all of us groan. Homework is in no way 'riveting'.

"Would anyone like to give their opinion on the book?" she asks, her chestnut bangs falling in front of her blue eyes hopefully. No one looks her way, let alone answer. Minutes before Mrs.Nona walked in everyone was complimenting the book, calling it amazing and saying how great it is. I personally think it has something to do with the fact that Mrs.Nona loves the book too.

It was a romance book, the typical favourite book of a single thirty year old teacher. And in my opinion, the book was cheesy, predictable. The main character, Aleksa, was an orphan, and heartbroken. The love of her life had gone to war and died and she had to face the fact that she was pregnant.

Yup, the soldier had gotten her preggers and then decided that that particular moment in his life was the time to go die. Most people would say that I'm not being fair to the soldier, he didn't want to die. But he did and that's all that matters. As the book progresses it's revealved that she has the baby, which she names after the soldier, and marries his brother.

Brava for her, she lives on! What I hated about the book was the fact that Aleksa keeps dragging on about how lucky the love of her life is for dying, that he doesn't have to try to live without her. Which is, again in my opinion, a load of BS. He's dead for goodness' sake! He can't possibly be lucky!

"Anyone? No one? No one has an opinoin on the book?" she says, slightly diappointed. Her eyes scan the room.

"Looks like I'll have to pick someone," she says threateningly. Her eyes land on someone from the back of the room. I resist the urge to turn around in case she calls on me instead.

"Trent, you've been in this class for a year already. Why don't you come up here and share your thoughts?" she asks with constricted politeness. The way she said it sounds more like she's saying,"YOU'LL COME UP HERE AND GIVE YOUR OPINION AND YOU'LL LIKE IT!" What she says about Trent being here for a year is slightly false too. He's been here for seven months, just before Lewis admitted that everything was a joke. I haven't really paid attention to him much, I was always so hung up on Lewis.

"Miss, I'd rather not," The boy, Trent, says. I roll my eyes, it's not like you have a choice.

"Trent, get up here," Mrs.Nona orders. Her usually kind eyes have hardened.

"Miss, I really don't want to," he replies calmly.

"Trent, we all know you're shy-" she starts.

"Miss, I assure you I'm not shy," he says, getting angry now.

"Then come up here," she challenges. His chair scrapes the floor as he gets up to the front of the class. His hands are in his pockets of his frayed hoodie. His jeans hug his hips, not too tightly like the rest of the guy's, but just to prove that he's not scrawny. His brown hair looks dark blond as the sunlight catches them and his black eyes look like the surface of a lake at midnight. His stride is confident,  he's fully aware that he looks good to most eyes and maybe that's what makes me instantly dislike him.

"The book, Red River Runs, is a book," he says boredly, "I have given my opinion." And with that he starts to walk off. Mrs.Nona sends him back to the front with a single glare and he starts over.

"Red River Runs is a story of love and loss and love found again," he starts again and Mrs. Nona smiles.

"And it was extremely disappointing. I mean Aleksa just wouldn't stop complaining about her broken heart! Boo hoo, I lost the love of my life! Humans aren't monogamous, you'll fall in love again. And her kid, did he mean nothing to her? She thought about suicide many times and the only thing that stopped her was the fact that she didn't know who to give the house to. Mothers should stay with their kids, no matter how much it hurts to still be alive. You'll just be passing that burden onto your kid, who definitely doesn't deserve it. So yes, I hate this book. It sucked bullocks and if you feel different, I highly reccomend you to speak up now," he says.

I can hear the mouths of about thirty other people in the class drop and hit the floor. No one expected a kid from the back of the class to react like that to a book that everyone loved. I smirk a little, some people don't know good books like I do. The guy's eyes wander a little, his eyes of ink silently judging us. Then they fall on me, and stay there.Despite his truthful outburst, something about this kid is strange, and I'm not all too sure I like it. He smirks at my reddening face. Two options war inside my head, stare back and put him in his place or keep your head down and avoid the issue. The shy kid inside me laughs, the obvious choice is to keep your head down. And that's what I do.

"No one feels differently?" asks Mrs.Nona desperately. I glance around, no one's willing to answer. The guy's smirk widens, his eyes silently daring anyone to contradict him.

"Levi?" she asks desperately. "You liked the book, right?" I keep my face immobile and devoid of any expression, after never raising your hand in ten years, a personal record, you get used to the stony-faced expression. His eyes find mine and something changes in them. It's like a ripple in a lake, and I hate it. He nods at me and shakes with laughter, he looks like he knows me. I want to rip him apart, all for that one expression. He doesn't know me, and he doesn't have the right to think that he does.

"Levi?" Mrs.Nona's asks. I ignore her and focus on the various ways I can hurt this guy.

"That's it. Levi, Trent you both have detention tomorrow," she says before returning to her desk. That definitely catches my attention.

"But Miss-" I say.

"No, you refused an order from your teacher. And now you're going to pay for it. Tommorrow, after school," she says with finality in her voice. The guy just shrugs and saunters back to his desk with that knowing look in his eyes. And I have to spend an afternoon with him.

Crap.

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