Hello My Name Is Nothing

There is no permanent destination for me. I am a murder-without-hesitation hotwire expert. This is the story of how I finally may have found a home.

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18. Ch. 14

    "So, let's talk." he said, "I have pizza!" he said, opening the box to reveal the pizza I had ordered. 
    "How are you still alive?" I said, attempting to close, the door before he jammed his foot in the doorway. "I'll crush your foot." 
    "Go ahead." he said through gritted teeth. "I have nothing left to lose." 
    "How are you still alive?" I repeated, though this time it was directed towards myself. "I killed you! I saw it with my own eyes!"
    "Well, you thought wrong. I just played dead until you were dragged off by the cops." he said. He was smirking cockily, but I could see the anger in his eyes. Why was he so mad? Oh yeah, I attempted to kill him. 
    "But you were dead! I made sure everyone was dead before the cops came." I said. 
    "Just let me in and I'll explain." he said. 
    "How can I trust you?" I asked. I remembered the day I asked him this, and back then he couldn't be trusted. 
    "Listen, I know everything you've been doing. I even know that you joined the big New York gang. Props to you." he said clapping. 
    "Darren, of all people, why do you have to be alive." I said. He had hurt me the most. He pushed me past the breaking point. He was one of the reasons I got the idea for payback. 
    "Don't you think that's a bit harsh, Jai?" he said.
    "Don't call me that." I said, "You hurt me the most Darren, how could I ever trust you?"
    "Jai, you can trust me." he said.
FLASHBACK
    I tied my hair up in a ponytail and slipped on the dress for homecoming. Senior year was already shaping up to be amazing. I applied a coat of lipgloss and smiled into the mirror. There was a knock on the door and I grinned even more. I heard the door open and Darren say hello to my mom. I loved him so much. He didn't care about my past, and we used to always find silly ways of getting back at the kids who got me in jail.  He helped me get over my pure rage for the people who locked me up. 
    "Honey, come downstairs!" my mom yelled. She had treated me so much better when I started dating Darren. She used to always yell at me about how I needed to stop disobeying the law. But I hadn't broken the law once since Darren I had been going out, so she liked him. 
    I came downstairs and Darren was smiling at me. "Hey!" I said. I couldn't help but smile even bigger as soon as I saw his face. 
     "You look amazing Jai." I chuckled at his nickname. He always would call me that to annoy me. I couldn't count how many times I had told him to call me Jaiden. 
    "Okay you too, let's take a quick picture so you can get going." my mom said, smiling at me. I knew, when I looked into her eyes, that she was actually happy for me. Happy that Darren had somehow reversed my ways.  We huddled together and my mom snapped the picture. "Now, get going!" she said.  We rushed out of the house and I got into Darren's car. I smelled the fresh leather and subconsciously felt my leather jacket that I had slipped on before I left. 
    "I love the leather and pink look." he said as we drove to the school. "Very popular badassy of you." he said. 
    "You're the one who forced me into the dress." I said.
    "I wasn't going to let you wear jeans to the prom. All I had was pink from Trish's closet." Trish was Darren's fifteen year old sister who had the same size everything as me, even though I was two years older. 
    "Yeah, whatever." I said. "I was not going to the dance in just a pink dress." I said. 
    "Oh, don't be so sad. We're going to have so much fun."  Darren said, attempting to comfort me. But no matter what I might not be happy the entire dance. Because I had gotten the feeling that something was up with Darren. He seemed odd lately, even if he was being so nice. Wait, no, that was why. He had been way too nice the past week, and instead of sarcastic phrases, he was constantly being nice, complementing me. I could tell he was thinking about something. I stared out the window, wondering what was so wrong. 
    "Hey, are you alright?" Darren asked, his hand on my shoulder. 
    "What? Yeah I'm okay." I said. He opened his mouth to say something but quickly closed it and continued to drive. 
    We arrived at homecoming, and music could be heard inside. A banner that read: 'CONGRATS BULLDOGS!" in bold lettering was hung on the front doors of the school. I was glad that we had won the game, because otherwise the banner would have made it pretty awkward. We walked in and I immediately met eye to eye with my best friend, Lola, who wore her handmade by herself dress, which has her own little style to it. When I became friends with her, she had tried to add her own style to my leather jacket but I stopped her. 
    "Heeeey little criminal!" she said, high-fiving me. She had bailed me out when I got into jail for hot-wiring Jimmy Fritz's car at the turnabout sophomore year. I had gotten caught and brought in by Jimmy himself.  But everyone knew why I did it. Jimmy tricked me into thinking I was going to the dance with him and got his friends to say that he like me. Then, when we were at the punch bowl he asked if I wanted some and then dumped the entire bowl of punch all over my head. This caused the entire school to laugh at me and myself to run out in embarrassment.  Jimmy had come out with Jenny, his real date to ride over to dairy queen so he could show off the fact he had a license. 
He found me halfway done hot-wiring his car and called the cops. Lola bailed me out because she thought what they did was cruel. And Jimmy Fritz played the same prank on her at the freshman mixer. 
    I slung my arm around Darren casually and we all talked for a little before Darren asked if I wanted to dance. We danced all of our weird dance moves. I remembered how we danced like this when we became friends over the summer before senior year before Darren said he wanted to date me and I said yes. So awkward dancing was a part of our relationship forever. I danced for what seemed like thirty minutes and Darren asked if I wanted punch. I nodded and told him I'd wait by the bleachers. I exited the crowd of people and sat down wiping the thin line of sweat from my forehead. I had given my jacket to Lola fifteen minutes in on the dance-floor because it was way too hot to wear it. A song passed as I waited for Darren, then another, and after four songs I was getting extremely suspicious. Who takes fifteen minutes to get a cup of punch. I got up and went to the punch bowl...
    Darren wasn't there. I immediately began searching for him throughout the gym, but he was nowhere to be found. I furrowed my eyebrows in confusion and started asking people if they'd seen Darren, mostly his friends. Finally Ben told me that he saw Darren run out to the parking lot five minutes ago. I ran out and saw the various cars in the lot. I looked for Darren's car and found the sleek black car. I ran over to see if he was over there. I saw a glimpse of a figure through the tinted windows of the car. I got down so whoever was in there couldn't see me. 
    I crawled up to the car, the gravel scraping my knees. I reached the car and heard...moaning? What the actual fuck was going on in there. I got up and peered through the driver seat. No one was there but I heard noises from the back. I peered to see that Darren was in the back...on top of a girl. And not just any girl. He was on top of and making out with Chloe Goodman, the girl whose motor scooter I had hot-wired, earning me no allowance for a year, therapy to realize what I did was wrong, and grounded for one year. After that, Chloe hated me. She was nice to everyone in the school but me because I was the known criminal at school. After all, since then, I had hot-wired about fifty cars and gotten caught by eight people so far: Jimmy, Jenny, Lauren, George, Brad, Lulu, Josie, and Danny. They had all bullied me in school, and were the ones I had made jokes about getting revenge on with Darren.
    But now, watching Darren make out with Chloe, every ounce of rage came back. He tricked me into thinking that he loved me. He cared for me, all to make me feel bad. I heard a gasp from Chloe, obviously part of the plan, and she grinned at me before continuing to make out with Darren. Darren had looked at me too before he continued to lock lips with Chloe. I cried for two seconds. I was done. Done with people betraying me, locking me up, tricking me into playing their games. I was absolutely positively done. It was like Darren had fixed my heart, glued all the pieces together just so he could smash it with a hammer until it could never be fixed again. I got up and went back into the room. Lola tried to approach me but I shoved her away. I grabbed my leather jacket and walked out. 
    He said I could trust him. That he loved me. He didn't know, but he was the first guy I let myself fall in love with. And now, I didn't no if I could ever trust anyone again, especially him. 
END OF FLASHBACK
    "No." I said. "You tricked me into falling in love. It was all part of your secret game, Darren!" 
    "Jaiden, that was-" he began but I cut him off. 
    "What, you just acknowledged I was there, then continued to make out with her. You knew how much I hated her. You fixed me, then destroyed me as soon as my heart was put together again. I could have grown up to be a great person Darren." I said. 
    "Why are you yelling me this again? The last time you told me this you were about to-" he didn't finish because I had cocked my gun at his face. He was right. The last time I said this I was about to kill him. I wonder if Frank ever told him what happened that night to me at homecoming. 
FLASHBACK
    I walked home. At this point I didn't care that my house was six miles away. I couldn't associate anyone from school anymore. I was done. I was already thinking up plans in my mind. A small voice always told me not to do sick things to people, but what Darren did shut that voice out. I was almost off the property when someone grabbed me. I squirmed under their grip but I could tell the person was probably a wrestler. He had a headlock on me as he dragged me behind the giant bush behind the school. I tried to scream, use self-defense, anything, but nothing worked. 
    Finally I was put down, only to have the person straddle me. They held my arms down. I looked up to see who it was. Frank Harrison. He was the captain of the wrestling team and Darren best friend. I looked up, pure hatred at the fact he was friends with Darren. 
    "Don't you make a sound." was all he said before he pulled out a pill. No, no, no ,no, no, no. This cannot be happening. He is using a date rape drug. I had seen a picture of one on the news. 
    "What is that?" I asked, already knowing the truth.
    "This will make sure you don't fight back." he said with a smirk. He began to bring  the pill to my mouth. I tried to move away but he was pressing down on my arms and holding my chin. He shoved the pill down my throat, the salty taste of his fingers filling my mouth I gagged at his fingers going down my throat and then suddenly felt like my senses had gone numb. I felt weaker and my mouth hung open. Then I blacked out.
***
    I woke up and immediately there was pain in my lower region. I looked down to see blood coming from in between my legs. I gasped. I was still behind the bushes at school and the sun was just beginning to rise. It was then I realized I wasn't wearing anything. My leather jacket lay next to me, my dress looked as if it had been thrown. And then it memories of was had happened came flooding back. I had been rape. And just minutes before that I had been cheated on. I sobbed uncontrollably before anger set in. That was when the idea came. The idea to kill the people who caused me harm. And to save Darren and Frank for last. 
END OF FLASHBACK
    "Jaiden, you keep staring blankly ahead. What happened after homecoming?" he asked. 
    "Frank raped me. Now give me my pizza." Before Darren could keep me from leaving, I grabbed the pizza and kicked him in the crotch. As I was walking out, he yelled something.
    "Meet me at motel room 234 tomorrow at 9:00 PM." he said. I spun around. 
    "What if I don't?" I replied. He smirked evilly, anger still filling his eyes.
    "I'll tell the Runaways who you really are." he said. I hesitated. 
    "So?" I said, pretending I didn't care.
    "Oh did I say Runaways, I meant the world. Everyone will know your name. I'll turn you in. I'll tell the cops exactly where you are." I looked at him angrily.
    If I didn't go he would tell everyone. I would get locked up, maybe even sentenced to death. 
    "Fine." I said. And exited the room.
***
    I arrived at the house to find everyone still gone. I set the pizza down and sat on the living room couch, hiding my face in my hands. Right now, Darren controlled my life. I was a pawn in his game. If I was going to keep my secret, I would need to do whatever Darren asks. And at this point, I had no idea what he had up his sleeve. 
    I'm not sure how long I sat there, my head in my hands, because I didn't even notice the rest of the gang was home until Denver tapped me on the shoulder. I looked up to find him and the rest of the gang looking at me, concerned. 
    "You okay?" Francis asked.
    "Yeah, I'm fine." I said, rubbing my eyes. 
    "Really?" Paul pushed, "because we walked in to find pizza and you sitting with your head in your hands. You didn't even respond when we got here." 
    "I'm fine." I repeated sharply, gesturing for them to back off. They stopped asking and Jackson blurted out, "So, how 'bout that pizza? It's gonna get cold!" Everyone went to the kitchen, Cara and Francis going hand in hand. I stayed behind and curled up onto the couch. This was not going to end well. I couldn't believe that Darren was controlling me. He could be watching me right now. I instinctively looked over at the window, but it face the back, and all that was there was the garage and grass. I brought my eyesight back to just staring at the TV. I could see the headlines on the TV that would come on if I was exposed. 'MAD MURDERER CAUGHT, FAMILIES AT REST'. I could see the happy smiled on people, the documentaries that would be made, ones not ending in 'IF YOU SEE JAIDEN GREENWICH CONTACT THE POLICE, BUT DO NOT APPROACH HER' but ending in 'Jaiden was caught by N.Y.P.D. police after being brought in by a man who chooses to remain anonymous.' My thoughts of the future were interrupted by the weight shifting on the couch. 
    I looked over to see Denver sitting down. 
    "I said I was fine." I mumbled. 
    "Nothing, something happened while we were gone." he said, not giving up.
    "Listen, you don't have to call me Nothing anymore. I used that name because I barely talked to anyone. It just makes the conversation confusion." I interrupted. 
    "What do you want us to call you?" he asked.
    "Shay." I said bluntly. 
    "Why Shay?" he asked.
    "I've always liked that name." I replied, shrugging. 
    "Okay, Shay. What happened while we were gone?"
    "Nothing." 
    "Something obviously happened."
    "Nothing happened."
    "Shay, you need to stop lying to me. You're family now. What. Happened?" he pushed firmly.
    "I can't tell you." I said, not making eye contact. 
    "Why can't you tell us anything?" 
    "I'm not ready." 
    "Just tell me what happened." 
    "My past." 
    "What about your past."
    "My past has come back to haunt me."
    "And there's where I can help you."
    "How are you going to help?" 
    "I can give you some advice." 
    "And that would be." 
    "You can't let your past control you. No matter what they threaten. You don't let them control you." 
    "What happened?" 
    "What do you mean?"
    "What happened when your past came back to haunt you, Denver?"
    "Remember how I told you that I killed my father?" 
    "Yeah."
    "Well, my dad had been dating someone behind my mom's back and she came back to try and kill me." 
    "What happened to her." 
    "She was going to shoot me, so I killed her in self-defense. I didn't want to kill her, but it was an accident. That is what really haunts me. And the fact that she didn't know anything about my my mom and I being related to my dad, she just thought that I killed him. Her death haunts me everyday."
    "I had no idea." 
    "No one does except the gang."
    "Why are you telling me? We met two weeks ago." It felt weird saying two weeks. It felt like so long ago I had stepped onto the streets of New York City. 
    "You're part of the family now. We share secret with each other. We are sworn to never betray each other, no matter how brutal a past. So what happened?" 
    "I can't tell you. I need to ease into this."
    "Why is your past so hard to talk about?"
    "You just don't get it. I can't tell you, but the only way for you to understand is if I tell you everything. If I told you everything, then you wouldn't look at me the same way. My past is hard to talk about. Why is that so bad?" I had gotten red from anger and my fists were clenched by now. "Go eat the pizza. It's getting cold." I said through gritted teeth then ran out and up to Cara and I's room, collapsing onto the bed and letting myself cry. My past was going to come crashing down on me if I didn't listen to Darren. I tried to take my mind off it by getting used to my new name: Shay. I repeated it in my head over and over, but just like Nothing, it was never the same as Jaiden. 
    But Jaiden was not my name to them.And hopefully it never would be. I heard a subtle knocking on the door and walked over to the window cautiously, drawing the curtains back slightly. I almost gasped when I saw a note taped to the window. But it hadn't been taped from outside. Someone had come in and taped it to the window. I grabbed the note, my hand shaking as I read the note:
    Don't forget about our deal Jaiden. Tomorrow, 234, at 9:30. Just tell your little friends you're going out for a bit. And if you're not there, well you saw how I got the note inside the house. I can come in and leave tapes of the newscasts on your big crime. Don't worry, they'll say Shay's Past, so the whole gang will watch them. 
Sweet Nightmares!
-Darren
    My breath hitched when I read the label part. I had changed my name just minutes ago. Darren had watched my conversation with Denver. He had been there, stalking me the whole time. Darren was a lot smarter than I though. Just as I was about to check more outside the window when I heard a creak. I must have jumped five feet in the air before shoving the note in my pocket. I turned around swiftly to see Denver, and let out a sigh of relief. 
    "Are you okay?" he asked slowly, walking towards me. 
    "Yeah, I'm okay." I said quietly. I looked up to see Denver right in front of me.
    "No you're not." he said firmly. Cupping my cheek. I looked up at him. 
    "What are you doing?" I said, staring right into his eyes. 
    "Giving you someone to care about." he said .
    And then he kissed me. 
    --------------------------------------

So this was a long chapter but i dont really think its that good. Life in the Friend Zone is now my most popular storu, so thanks for that! Love y'all so much you have no idea!

-tumblrandfood

 

 

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