Kiss You

One Girl
Five Boys
There is a beginning and then it just gets harder and harder to deal with. Youd think being on tour with the world's biggest boyband, One Direction, would be awesomely plain sailing, Think Again. More Girls and more challenges. Twitter Hate, Depression, Break-ups, Make-ups, this book has it all but I warn that it is not for the younger ages.

To give an idea of what age it is for: The writer is 13.


6. Torn


   Harry was being weird. I don't mean 'being a baby' weird, he's always like that. I mean like he was trying to impress someone, and I think it was me. He tried to do a cartwheel and fell halfway through, he kept staring at me and tried to get in front of Liam the whole time. I was coping with it by shrugging it off but then they started to practice I Would Harry wouldn't move from in front of me, when it came to his lines he, well, it was like he was... singing it to me?!? Liam noticed and shoved him out the way. Harry wouldn't have it and shoved him back. Liam then punched him shouting "Stop trying to impress my girlfriend!!!". Harry dropped his mike straight onto the floor causing a loud BOOM to come crashing out of the speakers. He then screamed "You don't own her!". He ran out the back door. At this point the room was silent, Liam came down a snogged me as if to reassure himself.

     It was silent until Niall started speaking, "Why don't we all go get Nandos takeaway and ring it back here?" We all agreed  but Naava had a sparkle in her eye, like a plan and said "I'll stay here, no point in all of us going and my ankle hurts, I just twisted it.". No one questioned her and we left her there. Niall kissed her goodbye and we left. Leaving Naava there and Harry where ever he went...



I heard the door slam shut, I knew that Nandos was at least 5 minutes away and the food would take at least 10 minutes so I was safe. The music was easy enough, like the DJ set I used for my radio show. I plugged my phone in. I questioned what I was doing, what is someone catches me? What if someone hears me? I then began to think about last time, how it happened, why it happened and it made me stronger. I could get through 3 songs before they got back and I wanted to prove to myself I could do it so I picked up a microphone and pressed play.

I Like It Like That (by Hot Chelle Rae) rung loud and clear through the speakers filling the hall, I had set the mixer to remove the lyrics and began to sing. You could barely hear me at first, small scared notes but it increased becoming more confident, more professional. They ended that song ringing out like the boys, loud, clear, perfect. The song ended and the next one came ringing out. One I had loved since the movie, Ultraviolet (by The Stiff Dylans). I was standing still last time but I put my love for dance into practice. Moving side to side and then into a full out dance routine. Notes ringing through the speakers so loud I didn't hear the door go and Simon Cowell walk in.

I felt alive, the beats matching with my heart's, the chords molding with me. By the end of that song I wanted to take a risk, I chose the song I haven't sung in years. The one from the show... that show... Price Tag (by Jessie J). I knew - or thought, at that time - no one was there and no one would know but it sent an unnerving shiver down my spine but also a powerful surge of energy and feeling into me, to prove I could do it. I clicked play and flashed back, remembering I'm not who I was, I'm the new, brunette, smart, shy, clever, Niall-dating Naava Shepard and I deserve to sing this song.


Seems like everybody's got a price

I wonder how they sleep at night

When the sales come first and the truth comes second

Just stop for a minute and smile...

Why is everybody so serious?

Acting so damn mysterious?

With the shades on their eyes and their heels so high

You can't even have a good time...

I go through every note, word, letter and syllable but moving to the beat, perfectly performing every move to the full, loving it...

I didn't know anyone was there until the end of that song. Everybody walked in and clapped and cheered. I expected myself to cry but instead I  screamed at Emma crying how could she of let them hear me and how could she not try to tell them.  I then grabbed my phone and ran outside,  leaving the mic on the edge of the stage...


Naava came running out and almost ran past me but the smoke made her turn around. I hate smoking but I  needed a distraction.

"What's up with you?" I asked as she sat herself next to me. Her long hair was covering her face so I hooked her fringe  behind her ear to see tears silently running down her face.

"You first. ." She replied and I needed to tell someone so I came out and said it.

"I love Charleigh.  Simple as. Your turn. " I could tell she didn't want to say but she did anyway. ..

"They heard me sing.  I know that doesn't sound like much but last time someone did I went suicidal.  It was the school show, I auditioned for one of the two main dance parts with a friend.  She did amazing but I didn't think I had. At that time I was bullied by a girl called Cally,  she hated how I loved dance because she thought of it as her subject.  She auditioned to. The next week the lists went up and everyone was crowding around so I couldn't see. Cally came along and shoved everyone out of the way  calling let the main dancer through.  She then took one look at the list and screamed.  She ripped it off, dropped it on the floor and stamped on it.  She walked off, passing me to go scream at Miss Banesith, the director of the play.  5 minutes later almost everyone had cleared off either crying or jumping for joy and I finally got a look at the sheet to see what Cally had screamed about.  My name was there in black and white.  My friends name was next to it. I was shocked.  In my next Drama and Music lessons Miss Banesith kept popping up to watch me.  Next dance practice for the play Miss took me out and asked me to take a headlining act as the girl before hand had dropped out.  I said yes, and that was the mistake. Things went ok but on my way to the first show, Cally and her gang found me and beat me up. I turned up to make-up covered in scratches.  The person doing my make up asked no questions but Miss Banesith took me out afterwards and tried to convince me to report it but I said no. I went on stage and performed perfectly but Cally got to me afterwards,  telling me I should die and I couldn't take it." She coughed,  fatter tears landing in her lap.  "After the show I went down to the river and tried to drown myself.  Emma was doing make up and followed me. She dragged me out of the river and I cried for her to let me die.  She took me back to her house,  dried me off and tried to get me to talk about it. I never have until now." She is crying terribly now so I give her a hug just as Niall walked out he cried HOW COULD YOU?! And ran back inside.  Naava and I chased him shouting 'nothing happened' and 'stop'. But he didn't until we got onto the bus.  Niall began accusing Naava of cheating and then she snapped.

"Cheating would require something to happen! Do you want to know what we were taking about? Huh?!? I was talking for the first time about my suicide attempt.  Harry was there at the right time to listen but you don't want me to talk about anything to anyone else because 24/7 your trying to get down my pants. " Having shouted all that Naava took a breather to stop to her room, Niall following.  She then started again.  "You know nothing about me! I know everything about you! I bet you don't even know my last name?! . . . HUH?! . . . NO YOU DON'T! IT'S SHEPARD, THAT'S SHEPARD, WITH AN S!" She then unlocked her bottom drawer taking out 3 books.  She ripped pages out of first one whilst shouting 'YOU DONT KNOW ABOUT THE SONGS I WRITE NO ONE WILL HEAR!?' She then finished ripping up that book and started on the photo album. 'YOU DON'T KNOW ABOUT MY FAMILY OR FRIENDS?!' She finished emptying the photo album and picked up the last book. 'AND THIS... WELL THESE... THEY'RE THE CLOTHES I DESIGN NO ONE WILL WEAR. YEARS OF WORK AND WATCH THIS'. She ripped the first page out slowly and painfully and speeding up until the once tidy room covered in photos and papers.


I was fed up of Niall, I wanted to go out and shop, I don't care if he thought it was uncalled for but I just couldn't take him anymore. Stuff my savings for fashion college, lets go shopping! I storm out grabbing Charleigh on one arm and Emma on the other.

"Lets go spend my life savings of stuff, shall we?" They had no choice so we grabbed our coats and walked out, leaving them all standing there gobsmacked.

We were in town and I wanted to buy everything just to be buying things. Emma suggested H&M first but I told her we are worth more than that junk, but they both knew I didn't want to go there because it was Niall's favorite shop. I took both of them into River Island. I picked up everything I liked the look of and told them to do the same. We ended up spending just under £500 pounds there. We then went into HMV and we bought practically every CD we have ever liked. We did that in almost every shop until we couldn't carry anymore bags. I had spent in the end at least £2,500 and I felt better. We then went to eat at Pizza Express.


I had no emotion. Outside or In. I walked into Naava's room and picked up the photos. Not looking at them. I picked up the photo album and put the back in. The boys were worried for me, Zayn told Patsy to leave it to them.

"Niall, you alright? She is properly just having a bad day" Louis said as they all came in and helped collect the papers. I sad nothing.

"Niall? Naava didn't mean it." Liam said. I still said nothing.

"Shall I get one of my notebooks and a sketch book, I have many in my room, we could stick them in for Naava and leave them on her bed." asked Harry. I was quiet, and whispered "Yes please". I was shocked, all she said, it was true. I never knew she designed clothes and brought  them with her, or that she wrote songs. I'd met her mother but I'd never asked about her other family or her friends. I never knew she wanted me to. Harry walked back in with 2 pairs of scissors, 2 glue sticks, a notebook covered in fake paper patches and a sketchbook with a glittery black cover. I couldn't move. I was stuck to the spot.

"Niall, do you want to help me?" asked Harry. He signaled for the other boys to leave and they did. He sat next to me and handed me some of the pages of the lyrics and the notebook, along with a pair of scissors and a glue stick. Harry and I weren't as close as I was with the others but he was the one here. I cut the ruffed edges of the first song and used the glue stick to stick it in. I kept doing this. It was silent and when Harry and I had finished we sat there. I was looking down into my lap when Harry started talking...

"Naava is just having a hard time. When we were talking she told me about when she tried to kill herself. She had got a main role in her school play, but at the time she was being bullied by a girl called Cally. Before the opening night Cally and her mates beat her up real bad but she didn't report it. After the show Cally told her to kill herself and other shit, Naava couldn't take it and went to a river and tried to drown herself but Emma found her and took her back to her house. Naava's never talked about it until now, I was there at the right time. She was crying so like all friends I gave her a hug. Anyone else would have done it. She loves you, anyone can tell. You just need to give her some leash, like now, letting her go shopping. I know she is spending her life's savings. Her savings for college but you have to let her. Naava needs time to think, just like you do."

"I know it's just..." I couldn't say it silent tears were pouring down my face."

"I know, we all know." He patted me on the back and walked off. He could tell I wanted to be alone. I laid down on her bed and close my eyes, thinking of her...

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