Katie is a 17 year old struggling with friends, school and herself. Her friends have all turned against her and her smile has slowly drifted away. Shes alone and her family doesnt have a clue. She fakes a smile so people dont ask questions. Her scars tell a story. A horrible story. No one knows she self harms, or starves herself. She hates everything about her. But then summer comes along and for the first time in a long time she has a real smile. She gets to go to California to stay with her aunt. She is just happy she is away from everything. When she boards the plane an unfamiliar tall handsome man came up to her and asked her a question, "Is this seat taken?" That one question changed her life. How? Read to find out. :) Enjoy.


5. Enough.

Katie’s POV: *BUZZ BUZZ BUZZ* My alarm for school went off. I dreaded school today. I knew I had to go. And I couldn’t skip or else my mom would know. That’s the only thing holding me back is my mom. She really scared me. I wobbled over to my alarm and turned it off. I slugged back into my bed and just laid there. Trying to focus on what was going to happen later today. I hope that Lindsey wouldn’t tell anyone my secrets. I’m scared to death of showing my face in public. I threw on some slacks and threw my hair up. I had taken a shower the night before and was not about to ‘fix’ my hair. I didn’t care at this point. People already know I’m ugly so why try and hide it? Exactly. I grabbed my bag and keys and walked to my car. I was about to open the front door when my mom stopped me. “If I get a phone call today telling me your not in class then you will be grounded the whole summer vacation. You hear me?” “Its not like I was going to do anything anyways.” “Don’t you dare get sassy with me young lady. How about I take your phone and computer away the whole summer?” “Whatever. Bye!” I slammed the door. I didn’t care what she did to me. She couldn’t make me feel any worse that what I already felt. I just wanted to get out of this place. Start over somewhere were no one knows me or my past. A fresh start. That would be great. But then I come back to reality and know that will never happen. I drive myself to school. I pull into my parking space, and taking 3 deep breaths. “You can do this, your stronger than this.” I say to myself. I get out of the car and slowly walk to the school entrance. Here goes nothing. I think to myself. I wasn’t prepared for what was going to happen. “Aw look she showed up to school today. Or are you going to run off again?” I heard Caitlin snuff at me. I ignored her and kept walking. But she kept following me. “You know its not good to run away from your problems.” Caitlin scuffed at me. I continued to ignored her. But I think she liked it because she kept continuing to harass me. “Why are you hiding behind all of those baggy clothes? Hmm? Don’t want people to know you’re a whore?” She wouldn’t stop. I walked into my first class which thankfully she wasn’t in. so I could get some peace for a little while. But then I realized that the guy that ‘asked me out’ for the dance was in there. I tried to not make eye contact. Tried not to look at him. i didn’t want him to start too. I sat in my chair and looked down at my papers. I saw that he walked in I quickly looked away. Tried to make it seem like I was doing something. It worked he didn’t look at me and sat in his seat. He probably didn’t even know I was in his class. Because im a nobody. I did pretty well at trying to hide myself. I haven’t seen Lindsey yet today. I didn’t want to face her right now. Or ever. I was still in shock about what all was going on. “Whats that on your wrists? Are you a cutter?” I girl said pulling down my sleeve. “Stop!” I yelled at her. “Look everyone Katie cuts herself. Emo freak!” The girl said showing everyone my wrist. “Not a surprise!” I heard Caitlin say in the crowd. “Leave me alone!” I yelled at both of them. “Why we are just getting started.” Caitlin said slapping me across my face. I didn’t retaliate because I didn’t want to start a fight and my mom kill me when I get home. “C’mon wimp do something.” Caitlin said. “No, just leave me alone.” “Why? We are all having fun. Aren’t we guys?” “Yeah!” Everyone in the crowd yelled. “So tell me, how long have you been a cutter? Did it start when your uncle raped you? Hmm?” Caitlin said piercing her eyes in me. I couldn’t believe it. Lindsey actually told Caitlin about that. At this point I couldn’t help but cry. I couldn’t stop crying. Everything was to much. My life was over. “wh-who told you that?” I said looking up at her with blood shot eyes. “hmm, who do you think? Your so called friend Lindsey. Remember, when she left you for me. And told me everything there is to know about you. You really are fucked up you know. Only fucking idiots cut themselves. Do us all a favor and just kill yourself already.” I didn’t say anything. I couldn’t say anything. My mind was blank. I was empty. I was broken. I was hurt. And alone. “Are you going to eat lunch today or are you going to skip that meal too? How long have you had your eating disorder? Ever since your mom kept calling you a fat pig? That must suck knowing your own parents don’t love you.” Caitlin said digging her knee in my back. I still couldn’t say anything. This was torture. Why did everyone hate me? What did I do so wrong? I wanted to end everything. The suffering, the pain, the torture everything. I don’t even listen to what Caitlin is saying to me. I keep blocking everything out. Suddenly the pressure went off my back. Caitlin walked away and the crowd slowly drifted away. I got up, looked around and fell right back down. I tried to get back up but I was so weak. I could barley move. But I was able to get up and make it to my class before it got to late. I wanted to leave so bad. But I knew I couldn’t. We all went to lunch and instead of going to lunch I went to the bathroom. I went into a stall and sat there. Before we went to lunch I went to my locker and got my bag out. I pulled my bag out in the bathroom. In my bag I had everything to make me feel better. Razors, pills, shots everything. I wasn’t on drugs it was just something I did once in a while to forget everything. “Unloved, worthless, cutter, suicidal, eating disorder, fat, ugly, fat pig, unwanted.” All these words kept running through my mind. All these words were words that Caitlin kept repeating to me. I believed her. I am unloved, I am worthless, I am a cutter, I am suicidal, I do have an eating disorder, I am fat, I am ugly, I am unwanted. All of these things add up to where I seriously have no purpose in living anymore. In my bag I pulled out some paper and a pencil, and with that I wrote, “I’m sorry. I’m sorry for not being good enough, I’m sorry for not being what everyone wants me to be. Bringing someone down while there already there is pushing them over the edge. Its like giving a suicidal person a gun and telling them to pull the trigger. Which I guess is what happened here. I don’t know what I did to make everyone hate me so much, but all I know is that I cant live with it anymore. Words do hurt. Even if you don’t intend to make them hurt. They do. Thanks to everyone who actually did fucking care about me. Which I still don’t know who that is. Sorry I couldn’t live up to societies expectations. But for everyone that didn’t like me, or wanted me dead, or hated me for no reason congratulation’s you won.” I folded the letter and laid it next to me. I pulled out my razor, I unwrapped my wrist and sliced my skin. Blood falling to the ground. I kept loosing blood and I began to feel light headed. I didn’t want to just pass out I wanted to die. So I pulled out my bottle of pills and overdosed on them. As I lay on the floor I can feel my heart slowing down, I know my time is here. There was no other escape I kept saying to myself. I had to do this. There was no other way out. I had given up.

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