Living Together

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18. Chapter 18

Acelia's P.O.V

"what if he doesn't want to come an live with me again?" i whispered, loud enough for Pattie, Usher and Hannah to hear.

"well, why don't you go ask him, i'm sure he'll say yes." Pattie urged, i could tell she was unsure herself by the way she didn't look me in the eyes or even give me a slight smile. i just gave her a slight nod and started walking towards Justin's room with my hand's in the pockets of my baggy over sized cream knitted cardigan and my head facing the floor, my blonde long hair creating a curtain around my face hiding it from anyone's view. after about five minutes i finally made it to Justin's room and opened the door slowly, if it wasn't for his faint snoring you would think the kid was dead, i sat beside him again like i had the past couple of days and took his hand in mine, caressing it with my thumb lightly hoping he would wake up which he eventually did.
"hey justin, how are you feeling?" i spoke up, keeping my voice at a minimum not wanting to freak him out.
"uhm, i'm feeling a lot better actually, thanks for asking celia." i was taken aback when he called me celia like he used to, i hadn't even told him about that, maybe he remembers something?
"remember anything yet?" i blurted mindlessly, anxious to know if he had.
"no, nothing unfortunately." he sighed obviously disappointed in himself.
"justin, none of this is your fault please don't blame yourself for anything that has happened these past few days, if you want to put the blame anyone, put it on me because i did this. i didn't tell you how i felt, i thought what i was doing was for the best and i never thought anything like this was going to happen and if i knew this is what it would've led to, i would have told you in a heartbeat." i confessed, guilt was finding it's way into me and i couldn't take it anymore, i burst out in tears before justin had the time to react to my confession.
"celia stop it" he said harshly, "this is not your fault, i was stupid enough to run away from my problems and not sort them out, from what you told me before about us, i really did love you and i shouldn't have given up on you so quickly." he placed his hand on my face, wiping away the remains of my tears. although he didn't intend to, his words struck me in a negative way just the way he said 'i really DID love you' made me realize he doesn't anymore and if he doesn't get his memory back, he never will.
after crying my eyes out to justin for a bit longer, i finally spoke up and asked the question i had been meaning to ask him since i got here, "justin, move back into our apartment with me, please?" cringing at the thought of him saying no.

"sure celia, maybe it would help trigger my memory." he smiled, trying to lighten up the mood which worked.
i was one step closer to possibly having my baby back.

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'December 9th 2012, 7:34pm.
it's been a month and justin still can't remember anything from his past, it was all just a massive blur to him. pattie comes over everyday showing him family photo albums that she had borrowed from her sister and if she can't make it one day, she'll call him at least five times telling him each time a different memory like when he one the third grade spelling bee or the time he finally told her how much he actually liked me, it warms my heart how much pattie tries. i had called my mom and told her everything that had happened, at first she scolded me for going against her rule of no funny business and then she started crying because she thought of justin like he was her second son, it was kind of reverse of how you'd think she'd react, normally someone would cry before they scolded there child, but moms special, she said she would fly out here for us but couldn't take nate out of school for that long.

i finally got a job working at the tiny french bakery around the corner, nothing special but it puts food in our mouths, justin is working on fixing his voice and its coming along pretty well, ushers here nearly every day as well as pattie helping him with his voice, none of us have heard from scooter since which is actually kinda good, usher said he is finding someone to sign justin and if all else fails he'll just somehow sign justin with himself, more and more videos are being uploaded to youtube and more and more amazing reviews come in, justin's a fighter there's no doubt about that.
me and him are distant towards each other like he's acting as though if he touches me it's against the law, he moved out of the master bedroom and into the spare room with no warning, majority of the time i don't even come home from work because seeing him makes me really sad, im lucky if i even get a simple hello, it just gets me so angry at myself because i could've prevented this all from happening.'
i placed my pen on the desk and shut my diary, i had decided to write in it after the accident, it was the only way i could let out my true feelings without having to tell anyone. i walked out into the living room where justin was currently stuffing his face with doritos while watching spongebob, "oi fat ass, were you thinking of saving any for me?" i teased, hoping that he wouldn't act like a stranger towards me.
"no." my hopes were crushed, i was angry and i was going to show it now, i stood up grabbing the chips our of his hands, walked over and turned the tv off.
"what the fuck acelia, i was watching that." he snapped, i completely ignored him.

"that's it justin, why have you been so stubborn and distant towards me, have i done something to you?" i said, throwing the remote and the chips on the couch opposite him.
"no, you've done nothing wrong." he spat.
"THEN WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU ACTING LIKE I'M NOT EVEN HERE HALF THE TIME?" i shrieked.
"BECAUSE ACELIA, I CAN SEE HOW MUCH I'M HURTING YOU BECAUSE I DON'T REMEMBER YOU AND I DON'T LOVE YOU LIKE I USED TO." he screamed, he looked at me with a sympathetic look in his eyes while tears were brimming mine, "i'm trying everything to remember you, when you're asleep i'm scrolling through our old text messages and when your at work i call my mom and ask her to tell me everything she knows about our relationship. i would never admit this to anyone else but it actually brings me to tears seeing you hurt because of me, i'm trying everything i can to at least remember a little bit of you, believe me acelia."
"WELL YOU HAVE A SICK WAY OF SHOWING IT." i screamed through tears, grabbing my phone and walking out of the apartment, slamming the door behind me.

i just need to go on a walk and clear my mind.

(a/n)

sorry for the long wait, i have been extremely tired and yeah. thanks so much for the support and i hope you liked this chapter.

Much Love :*

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