The Reason I Can Sleep at Night

18 year old Carter has been through a lot in the last month. When she finally is able to go back to school she goes through a lot of different things that she thought she would go through before, meets people she could only dream about.

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3. Not so Perfect

 

 

*****************Mom’s P.O.V***************

I watch my husband as he starts to make his coffee. How perfect he is. How perfect my family is, or should I say how perfect my family WAS until the horrible thing happened.

The thing that left my one and only daughter, Carter traumatized. My poor daughter who can no longer trust. My poor daughter who must always be scared.  

 

       I head to Carter’s room and see her sleeping. She is so beautiful when she sleeps. With her long reddish hair resting very gently on top of her pillow. I didn’t want to wake her. She looked so peaceful so innocent. Then I once again remembered how she had gotten her innocence ripped away from her these last months. How I seemed to be helpless to defend her. Then I thought that could help her by waking her from her nightmare that she was most likely having right this very moment.

 

        I walked over to her bed and sat down next to her. Even though she was 18 and a senior in high school I could very easily pick her up because of her extreme loss in weight. I almost cradled her in my arms leaving her partly on her bed and whispered “Wake up honey or your going to be late for your first day back to school.” Her eyes pop open and I could tell that she was scared. I try to act calm as I ask her “Did you have a good nights sleep?” I know what she is going to say but I listen to her response anyway. When she tells me that she had the same nightmare once again I know what I should inform her therapist.

 

        After my short call I went to check on Carter. I peek my head into her room and see her on her bed with her iPod in her hands and headphones in. She always loved music even as a child and now she used it and sometimes drawing as an escape from the real world. “Ready to go?” I ask as she slowly removes her headphones and gives me a nervous smile and says, “Ready, as I’ll ever be.”

 

        I watch as she navigates her small and frail body around her father’s car and to mine. She pulls open the passenger’s side door open all while not taking her eyes off her iPhone.

 

       As my car pulls up to Carter’s school my heart starts beating a hundred miles a second as I watch her slowly get out of my car and head towards the entrance. All I want to do is make her get back into the car and come home with me. To keep her safe from the outside world and protect her from anything that might come our way.  

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