How I Met Your Mother

In 2033, Harry tells his children the story of how he met their mother, beginning back in 2011, when his friend Louis told him to find 'the one'.

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1. Chapter 1

The year 2033

“Kids, I’m going to tell you an incredible story. The story of how I met your mother.”

“Are we getting punished for something?”

“Yeah, is this going to take a while?”

“Yes.”

The kids slump down on the couch in their living room and listen to their dad tell them an amazing story about how he met their mother.

“It all started when I was at the bar with one of my best friends at the time. We were young, single, and drunk. You both know how I was in a band at the time, well, that got me a lot of attention from girls. One of those girls was your mother.”

***

“Louis, I know that all these girls want to marry me, but I want the right one. I want the right girl to be with the rest of my life. I’m tired of being single. I can’t stay alone until she comes along.”

“Then let’s play a classic game, mate.”

“What game?”

“Have you met Harry?”

“No. We are not playing that.” Louis got up and Harry kept talking. “Louis, no! We’re not pla-”

“Hi, have you met Harry?” Louis asked a girl sitting at the bar. 

“No.” She smiled, and started talking to Harry.

***

“We started talking for a bit kids, and we ended up going back to her place later that night.”

“Well, that was a quick story. Bye dad!”

“Not so fast. I’m afraid that’s not the end.”

Both kids sat down, and started listening to their dad talk again.

***

Harry entered the girl’s apartment with her, and trailed along the living room, until they reached the bedroom door. Harry was very drunk that night. He was stumbling around. He started to take his belt off, until the girl flipped on the light switch, and Harry saw what he never thought he’d see in a girl’s room. Especially a girl this hot.

***

“Then kids, she flipped on the light switch, and I saw what I never thought I’d see on a night like that.”

“What was it?”

“She was a collector. Of dolls. She had them everywhere. There were over 200 of them in there, and I could feel them all staring at me with their glass eyes.”

“So mom collected creepy dolls back then?”

“Shh. Let me finish.”

***

They ended up having an awkward night in the bedroom, especially for Harry. The next morning, he awoke in his apartment that he shared with his four best friends. 

-They weren’t on tour at this time, so they had a few months off from everything-

“Hey Lou. You know that girl you hooked me up with last night?”

“Yeah?”

“Well I had this feeling that she was the one, but then in her room, she collected dolls. Like hundreds. It was so so creepy.”

“Yeah? Well, you can’t always trust your gut feelings.”

“Yeah, I suppose, but I just feel like she’s out there. I feel like she’s right in front of my eyes, but something just keep getting in the way.”

“Then we’ll try again. Tonight. We’re going to Nancy’s!!”

“No, not the pub again. You know how many paps were on my back for last night? I’m sure it’s all over the headlines.”

***

“It was – Harry Styles. Man whore. – That’s all I got called. Not a surprise, though.”

***

That night, they did go to Nancy’s. Harry saw the girl, and tried avoiding her. 

“Louis, what I do? I can’t confront her, that’s awkward.”

“Then she’ll come to you.”

“Wha-?” Louis whistled towards the girl, getting her attention. She quickly came over towards the two men, and started talking to Harry. Louis quickly left the awkward conversation to come,

“Listen Harry, I woke up this morning, sober, and I found out what room I was in. I know you think I’m a creep who collects dolls, but really, I’m not. That was my roommate’s room, not mine. Trust me. She is weird. Super weird, but she pays most of the rent, so I don’t complain. I usually stay out, and go back to the guy’s house, not the other way around. So I’m not weird. I really like you Harry and I don’t want to ruin anything because of this.”

“Me either. Trust me I didn’t think you were weird.”

***

“Liar.”

***

“Really?”

“Of course not, even if your roommate’s weird, that doesn’t mean you are.”

“Okay, good. So you want to go out on a proper date, out? Not back to anyone’s place?”

“That sounds lovely.” 

They went out for dinner at a little restaurant down the road from Nancy’s. 

“Harry, I had an amazing night tonight. Thanks for walking me home. I really hope to get to know you better, soon.”

“I love you.”

“You what?”

***
“You what???”

“Yupp. I told her I loved her.”

“Why?”

“I thought I did. It was a spur of the moment type of thing. Anyways…..”

***

“I uh. Never mind. I’m just going to go now.”

Harry quickly left the girl in front of her apartment, and started running down the street towards Nancy’s. 

“Louis!!” Harry barged into the pub.

“Yeah, mate?” Louis was working his magic on some girl at the bar. 

“I just told her I loved her”

*** 

“Then, Louis spit his drink all over the girl he was with.”

***

The girl ran out of the place, after slapping Louis hard on the face.

“Shit, damn it Harry! I almost had her.”

“What do I do?”

“Leave her. You messed it up enough as it is.”

“But, what I said was true.” 

Louis slapped Harry straight across the face. 

“You do not love a girl you’ve went out with once. You’ve banged her once. In her creepy room with a million dolls watching.”

“No! That’s what’s so good about it! It was her roommate’s room, not hers.”

“Oh that’s great Harry, and did you see what her room looks like?”

“Well, no, but I know that she’s the o-”

“Harry! Shut up! No she’s not! Trust me!!!”

***

“I saw her later that night, back at the bar, with another guy. Louis was right. She wasn’t the one. And that kids, is how I met Aunt Sarah.”

“What??? I thought this was about how you met mom??”

“It is, it is. I’m getting there.”

“Oh my god.”

The kids slumped back down on the couch, prepared for the story of their lives.

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