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Another entry for the Movellist of the Year competition.

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3. The one that saves

The one at fault

As you walk along the streets, you peer into the windows that give you insight to normal life. You want to see what a regular family is like. The kind where each child is loved, and equally. Can you imagine? You want that sort of family where you don't have to worry about coming home and getting beaten or when you are scared to leave your bedroom because your parents could be downstair drinking.

You stare into each window and see little boys playing with their fathers, and little girls dressed up as princesses watching their mothers cook for the family. You see teenage girls on Facebook and teenage boys playing the Xbox. You see small children being tucked into bed, saying goodnight and getting a warm kiss on the forehead. You imagine what life would be like. You imagine what it would feel like to be loved. You imagine receiving gifts on Christmas Day. You imagine a life. A real life. A life that isn't yours.

Soon, you begin to think about all the people at school who live happy lives and have everything. All those people that you hang out with that have always got the very best. The newest technology, the newest fashions, the very best that life could offer.

Then you think about the girl that receives punishment for your family's wrong-doings. You think about what she's lost because of you. Friends. Comfort. Happiness. You stole all that from her and every day she is left alone, lying on the ground and gasping for air after her daily beating. That's what you did to her. 

Tears begin to flood down your face as it dawns upon you that not only do you take part in it, but you started it as well. You were the first one to say anything cruel to her, the first to throw a punch, the first to get involved. Everything that had happened to her all points back to you. Everything that was taken away from her, everything that you brought upon her wouldn't have happened if you had just thought it through.

It sends chills down your spine to think about it. You realise that the whole time you feel like you've been bound with chains, unable to escape the need to punish someone the same way that you are punished. Your whole world crashes down on you as you realise that you have broken someone else when you could have just broken yourself. You know that it sounds ridiculous to do something like that to yourself, but isn't it better to crash a car and die yourself instead of crashing a car and killing someone else?

You turn into a different street and walk past a few houses when you see a girl through her bedroom window. It appears as though she is talking to herself, but as you squint your eyes to take a better look, you see a video camera. You also the tears stained cheeks, red, puffy eyes and long brown hair that belongs to none other than the girl.

You realise to your abolute horror, that you have hurt her so much, that she is about to her end her whole life.

The one being abused

You have just poured out your heart and soul to the video camera and anyone who dares to watch the video. You don't know if it will ever be seen; you had always thought you never mattered to anyone. You force a smile, wave to the camera and turn off the video, tears pouring down your face.

As soon as the video is shut off, you just sit there and bury your head in your arms. You pull your knees up to your chin and sob lightly. You saw from your own reflection that your mascara is running down your face, and you know that it isn't a very good look, especially when you are almost positive it's the last time people will ever see you.

You had made your decision now, and you just want to end everything. You know that no one will stop you and you know that probably no one cares. You want someone to care, though. Just once, you want someone to hold you tight and tell you that everything will be okay. You want someone to save you. You want to be someone's reason to smile.

As you prepare to finish it all, you feel a pair of strong arms wrap around you. You turn around to see who it is, and it is the last person you would've expected to see.

It was him.

It was the one person that caused you so much unbearable pain, so much sorrow, so much grief..... the person that made you believe that you were worthless and merely a toy that could just be thrown around whenever someone felt the desire to.

"Please don't," he whispers. "I'm sorry."

You can't help yourself. You need someone more than ever right now. You hug him tightly, wrapping your arms around his neck and sobbing into his chest.

"I'm sorry I hurt you so much. I'm sorry I nearly caused you to die. I'm sorry to be the one to start all this," he takes a deep breath. "I just felt like someone needed to feel the same way that  I felt."

"What do you mean the same way that you did?" you say, your voice just rising above a whisper. Could it be that all this time he just wanted someone to hurt like he did?

"My parents are alcoholics," he confesses. "I hated feeling like the only person in the world to feel like that."  He rests his chin on your head. You feel every beat that his heart offers and you can't believe that this is happening. "I'm so so sorry I hurt you, and I honestly didn't mean for it to go that far."

He takes a deep breath as you continue to sob into his chest.

"I just want to admit that every time I hurt someone else like I was hurt, I felt good. I felt powerful; but it wasn't long before I just started to feel guilty. Truth be told, the whole time..." his voice trailed off. "The whole time I was in love with you."

You stare at him. He what? He can't be in love with you. He hurt you. He caused you so much trouble and pain. It all seems so sudden and.... completely unexpected.

You hug him tighter as he plants a kiss on your head.

"I won't ever do that to you or anyone again."

"Promise?''

"I promise."

 

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