Complicated Love

it's about One Direction and an unlikely complicated relationship.

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27. Complicated Love- Letter to the Reader

 

Letter to the reader from the author,

        This book had some true realities to it. The events are part of my imagination and my friend’s names really are Hanaa and Ashley. My mom was not killed but my parents are divorced. I moved in with my dad in April of 2012 and we moved out of my mom’s on my birthday. We don’t get along and she usually is sick. When I was little she almost never took care of us so it was almost like she was dead. She almost never came out of her room or got out of bed. My dad took care of us even after my mom moved out with my older brother and I when they got divorced. My parents never really got along either. When I was in second grade their divorce was official. When I was in fourth grade my dad married my step-mom Aasha. She is amazing and I love her more than my mom. I moved out last April because I don’t get along with my mom and the police have been involved a few times. In fifth grade Aasha had a baby after a few miscarriages. My little brother was born on October 4th 2009 with a heart defect. We knew he had one but we weren’t sure how bad it was. When he was born the doctor told my dad and Aasha that he only had the left side of his heart. He was in and out of the hospital for months and months. During his hospital stays he had more surgeries than any one person has ever had in the span of 12 months. He was constantly getting shots and medicines too. There was one period of about 3 weeks when he was “normal” and didn’t have any machines hooked up to him at home and he didn’t have any medicine to take. A year after he was born, on his birthday, he was brought in for surgery. He had had 3 heart surgeries to try and move all of his lungs to one side of his heart so they would work properly, but they started coming undone. On his birthday, my grandparents had come down to see us and so did Aasha’s sister. Usually Aasha was okay with letting him have surgery but this time she felt something was different. She still let him have the surgery because he needed it but something went wrong. I don’t know exactly what happened but I do know that he came out of it unconscious. The doctor immediately put him in intensive care and he was hooked up with a blood supply machine, an oxygen machine, and a bunch of other machines that pumped medicine into him. His chest was still open from the surgery and it wouldn’t stop bleeding. The nurses put bandages on him but they wouldn’t last very long because he was bleeding too much. The blood that was being pumped into him was able to run through his body and then bleed out a few minutes later. We had to put on masks, gloves, and aprons before we could enter his hospital room because he had a rare disease that could spread if we didn’t. His name is Sebastien Robert Elias McRoberts and when he was lying on his hospital bed, he didn’t look like he was one year old. His arms and legs and body swelled up and his skin was red and splotchy. He was like that for a week and I didn’t realize it but he was hooked up to a life support machine. That was the only thing keeping him alive. On October 9th 2010 the doctor told us that even if he were to survive this, it wasn’t likely that he would live very long after that. Maybe he would live another few months. On October 10th my Grandpa baptized him. He is a retired pastor and was praying with us and over my brother and eventually baptized him. We had a few people visit us in the hospital and the hospital’s pastor came up to see us about every day when she had time. That night, the life support machine almost stopped and Sebastien almost died at midnight on the 11th. My dad called my grandpa at 1am and we almost went to the hospital then but my grandma had a stroke a few years ago and didn’t want to leave when it wasn’t daylight and she needed her sleep. The machine was working fine and we went to the hospital the next day. My dad and Aasha were already in the room when I got there with my grandparents and they were talking to the doctor. He was saying that Sebastien probably died last night, his body was just still working because of the machines. That whole day was filled with tears. Luckily the Monday was a day of off school because it was Veteran’s day. The doctors officially cut off the machines at 11:00 am and at 11:32 am he was announced dead. His body turned blue at first then after a few minutes it returned to its normal skin color. His body was still swelled up and we were able to put him in normal baby clothes. Aasha gave him his pacifier and put a bib on him with his favorite outfit, well what we thought was his favorite. I had a girl scout meeting later that day and I still went to it. I told a few people in the troop what had happened and my parents had told my troop leader. She told the troop in another room and no one said anything about it to me. I went to school the next day and only left at the end of the day twice that week. I had texted all of my friends and told them but I had to tell the friends that didn’t have a phone. I regret going to school that week. I don’t like having people say sorry to me and that’s all anyone was able to say. My best friend Kimary treated me normally and didn’t let me look at the picture of my brother I had. Every time I looked at it I would start crying and I asked her to let me cry when I was but if it was because of the picture then she should flip it upside down so I can’t see it. she did what I told her and I could tell she wasn’t going to say sorry and I was okay with that. When I was in fifth grade my mom moved so I had to switch schools. Kimary moved too and we ended up in the same school. The friends I texted was in my new school and I had only known them for about a year. Sebastien’s visitation was on that Friday and a bunch of my friends came. I think I was a little annoying that week or for a while longer but everyone let it slide. My friend Amanda from Michigan came down for the funeral on Saturday and stayed at my house for the day. She lives four and a half hours away and her mom drove her here. I live in the suburbs of Chicago so she had to drive through the city to get to the church where the funeral was. I am scared of hospitals because my little brother was in one for so long and died. I can’t stand the sight of blood for the same reason. My dad and Aasha are still going to see his grave every month on his birthday to put out new decorations for it. There are graves near his that we occasionally bring stuff for as well. I am not really afraid of water and I love jumping off the high dive in the summer. My friend Kimmee introduced me to One Direction’s music over this past summer of 2012. I was at her house and we were swimming in her pool with her Up All Night CD playing over the speakers from inside her house. I don’t usually just listen to music but I pay attention to lyrics and think about what they mean. I fell in love with One Direction’s songs and I bought my own CD. I looked up all of their songs and performances from the X-Factor and became an even bigger fan than Kimmee. One Direction has inspired me to follow my dreams because that’s what all of them did and some of their dreams are still coming true. The songs have a deeper meaning to me than just listening to music because I’m a fan and I think One Direction is ht, no doubt they are, but the music is why I listen to them. I haven’t had anything to make me feel like myself in a while and my little brother’s death had made me cautious and insecure. The first song I really paid attention to was Save You Tonight and I haven’t stopped listening to One Direction since. I have over 100 youtube videos bookmarked of just One Direction and they have taken over my facebook page and my room. If I met them I would not fan girl like a normal person but I would say thank you to them. They haven’t only changed my life but many people’s lives around the world and somehow been able to stay level headed and normal with all of the fame and fortune. I hope I meet you in person One Direction so I can say thank you face to face.

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