She's Not Afraid - A Louis Tomlinson Fanfiction

21-year old Louis Tomlinson is a normal college student studying at London University: He’s living a good social life with his four best friends, partying and making plans for his very near future. But then something new and unpredictable got pushed into the picture: Love. Before Louis knows it, he’s fallen for a girl that he barely knows - and she is basically the definition of a "wild child". As their relationship sprouts, he will have to face problems he had never dreamt of handeling before and feel the backside of the gold medal known as love: Betrayal, hatred, loss and misery. *Check out the trailer in the sidebar! :)*


13. Chapter Twelve


The soft melody of The Fray that was my ringtone, started playing from somewhere on my kitchen table: “You can never say never, while we don’t know when, but time and time again. Younger now than we were before.” My hands fumbled through the mess of old newspapers, schoolbooks and empty and finished dining plates as I tried to find the haunt of my ringtone. My fingertips finally touched something familiar and I grabbed my phone and pulled it out from under the covers. I smacked it up against my ear and said a quick, “Hello!” to the person in the other end.

“It’s me, Lou!” I smiled when I heard the deep sound of Harry’s voice through the speaker.

“Hi Hazza!” I screamed into the microphone as a—loud—greeting.

“Well, good morning to you too,” he said a few seconds later, a bit peevishly. I didn’t mind apologizing to him.

“So tell me, why are you calling me this early? You could have woken me up from my beauty sleep.”

“Oh. It’s just that I have this date tonight and I would really like you to come … Um, with a girl, of course.”

“What, like a double date?”

“Yeah, I know this girl who would really like to meet you. She is just your type,” he said in a mischievous voice. I got an urge to roughly hang up on him, but in stead I put up with it by clenching my fists tightly together.

Harry was trying to pair me up with a friend of his and go on a date with her, tonight. The worst thing was that I didn’t really have another choice than to answer yes to his suggestion. He might have found out about Jessica and me, and I knew how that would make her feel like and what it might result in: Her “breaking up” with me—if you could even say that we were together.

“Sure,” I grudgingly told Harry and held in a sigh. “Text me the time and the place and I will be there.”

“Great! I’ll see you tonight then!” he chirped and hung up on me.

I bit my lip so hard I thought it was going to bleed and tried to control my anger. We might not be an official thing yet, but I still had a girlfriend. And here I was, preparing myself to go out with another girl than her. This was not how things were supposed to be.

I threw the phone onto my bed, not caring if it broke or not. I had to calm myself down; tonight Harry, his date and this girl he had set me up with, would get to see a Louis Tomlinson that acted completely normal, like everything was just fine and that he was having a lovely time.

Ugh. This was really some of a complicated mess.




“They are waiting inside,” Harry said and cocked his head a little to the side towards the Mexican restaurant to his left.  “If Laura texted me the truth, anyways.” He opened a door and entered the restaurant. I pulled a bit up in my jacket and took a deep breath in a try to get the tension in my mind to go away, before I followed him inside.

The restaurant was not big nor fancy, but it still didn’t look like a cheap place. Dark, cozy colors covered the room fully and square formed tables with white dews were standing on the floor. The restaurant was filled with people, and Harry guided me through it towards a table were two girls were already sitting. They both lit up in big smiles when they saw us, especially the black-haired one of them with dimples in her cheeks and pretty green eyes.

“Hey Em,” Harry said and gave the black-haired girl a kiss on the cheek. “Lou, this is Emma, my date. Emma, this is Louis.” She awkwardly waved at me and I politely shook her hand. “And this is Laura,” he moved on and gestured towards the other girl at the table: My date. I swallowed hard. “Laura, this is Louis,” Harry said when he presented me to her. He then took the empty seat beside Emma and I slid in on the sofa seat beside Laura. Her long hair was a light shade of blonde and it hang loosely in a braid over her bare shoulder. Her nose were little and perfectly shaped, while her lips were full and covered in a red lipstick. The colors of beautiful, green autumn leaves were to see in her sparkling eyes, which matched well with her rosa cheeks.

She was beautiful.

But she wasn’t Jessica.

Laura smiled at me in a caring way that made me believe that she could actually see through my façade and spot the misery I was in. I briefly smiled back at her, but was interrupted when a waitress came with the menus.

   After ordering some burritos, Harry quickly got into a deep conversation with Emma and when he leant closer in to her and whispered something in her ear, I knew that I was going to spend most of the night chit-chatting with Laura—and talking about her, I saw her turning smilingly towards me out of the corner of my eye.

“So what exactly are you doing? Harry really hasn’t told me that much about you—except the fact that you would really like to meet me,” she said.

Oh. He had set us up by saying that she was interested in meeting me and I in her. I felt like killing this boy.

“I’m studying drama at London Uni to become a drama teacher,” I answered and tried to hide a fawning smile. He thought he was so good at setting up people without them knowing it—believe me, I had seen it before—but this time I saw through him as easily as scratching my neck. “What do you do?”

“I work at Victoria’s Secret. You know, just modeling and showing off their underwear collections.”

Oh, a lingerie model. I wondered how Harry had gotten to know her.

One thing was for sure: She had both the body and the looks to be one.

   The dinner got delivered and it tasted like a small piece of heaven. I couldn’t quite connect with anyone around the table, not even Harry. I just felt like I didn’t belong there. Laura was a sweet girl (and not to forget gorgeous), but every time I looked at her I only thought of Jessica. I had told her that I had to go on this date; she had hid it away well, but for a brief moment I had seen the hurt in her eyes. Sitting beside Laura and noticing the dimples in her cheeks that looked so much alike Jessica’s didn’t make it any better.

Right there in the company of three amazing people, I felt completely lost.





Saturday night, 9 o’clock, and it looked like I was going to spend the rest of the night lying in my bed doing nothing. What a buzz!

My shift at the shop had been cut short this morning and I had gotten the rest of the day off. Jordan had taken me for some ice-skating and I had ended up getting home with a bit of a fever. I hated myself for forgetting my beanie at home … Real smart, Jessica. Real smart.

At this time I could probably have been dancing the night away with my friends at some random nightclub, but no, of course my mother had to make me stay home under the covers. So now I lied here, obscured of my warm duvet, and watching the third season of Grey’s Anatomy with a cup of Earl Grey tea.

Louis was having fun, for sure. He was on that date of his right now, if the clock on my wall told me the truth. His friend Harry had set him up with some girl he knew, and of some stupid reason Louis felt like he had to go. Why didn’t he just politely decline the offer? I would have.

I bit my lip hard and looked down in the clear substance in my cup. For a change something was really bothering my careless self … and it actually hurt. In my mind the girl he was out with was beautiful, funny and adventurous—everything I wasn’t.

I knew I didn’t treat him the way he should be treated. He looked at me like I was something so valuable to him, like something he had to protect from all harms … like I was the only girl he saw. I didn’t deserve him; he was too good to be true. This girl Louis was out with would probably treat him right if she got the chance to; maybe I should just let her? After all I was a needless nobody.

I really didn’t get why Louis would agree to go out with her. Wasn’t I pretty enough? Wasn’t I good enough for him?

I saw a drop of something hit the surface of my tea.

Then another one. And another.

First many moments later, I realized I was crying. Maybe it was all this hurt inside of me that finally started to show itself. Or maybe it was something else—

That was when I knew that I had fallen completely and irrevocably for him.

I got ripped out of my own little world when my cellphone started ringing from beside me. I shut off the TV and wiped off my tears as I lifted it to my ear.

“Hello?” I said.

“Hi, babe!” I smiled when I heard the sound of Louis’ voice. His excitement could always cheer me up, no matter how bad I was feeling. “How are you doing?”

“Fine,” I said and tried to put a smile on. I knew that when I smiled I sounded happier.

“You don’t sound fine. What’s wrong?”

“Oh, nothing,” I sniffed. “I may have gotten a little cold. It’s nothing, really.” Telling him a little lie wouldn’t hurt.

“I could come and take care of you?” he cheekily said, putting a real smile on my face.

“Nah, it’s okay. I’ll only infect you.” I couldn’t resist on asking him that one question that was on my mind: “So how was your date?”

“I had a nice time.” I pressed my lips tightly together and tried not to let the tears in my eyes drop, when I heard his words. I hadn't ever imagined that something he said could hurt me like this. 

“But,” Louis said, “the whole time I couldn’t stop thinking about one person. You.” The tears fell freely from my eyes when I blinked, but this time it wasn’t because I was hurt; I was joyful. Louis’ soft and pleasing voice kept on speaking through the speaker: “I wish that you had been in her place. Harry was such a douchebag; I just wanted you to sit there beside me instead of some stranger.”

For the first time, I did too.

My signature ringtone of the Neon Tree’s “Everybody Talks” started to play as I got a new call. “I have someone on the other line,” I said. “Can I call you later?”

“Sure. Anytime, babe!”

“Thank you,” I said sweetly and hung up on Louis to take the other call. “’Ello?”

“Hi, Jess!” Jordan squealed loudly through the speaker, making me get a small earache.

“Hi,” I said and rubbed my ear circumspectly. “Thanks for almost making me deaf. And giving me a cold.”

“I am not responsible for that!” she laughed. “But how’s it going with it anyway, is it completely out of control or are you getting better?”

“I’ve been home for two hours.”

“I guess not then!”

“So where are you?”

“At Chloe’s. We’re preparing my big birthday party, woohoo!”

“Big 19! Can you believe it? In a year you’ll be 20.” I loved teasing her about her age; she hated it to bits.

“Don’t ever say that again, Jessica Rosaline Clarke, I don’t want to be reminded about it!”

“I have my rights to be mischievous,” I laughed in an evil voice. “Now, how’s it going—with the planning of the party?”

“Fantastic. It’s going to be amazing. I have picked out dresses for you, me and Chloe—and they are perfect for us, they match each one of us perfectly! The decorations are beautiful in silver and red—my favorite colors, as you know—and the snacks will be the best you’ve ever had. And when all of this is being combined with a dance floor and the best music possible, we have an ideal party.” I was just about to tell Jordan how great it all sounded when she cut me off: “It’s going to rock, okay? No matter what you think.”

I giggled of her nervousness. “Don’t worry, I think it sounds wonderful! It sounds like we are going to have a sick night next Saturday.”

“I totally agree. It’s the party of our lifetime!” I let out another laugh; Jordan always said that exact same thing before we were going to a party she had helped planning. 

“The guest list is settled, too,” she said. “Do you want to hear the names, madam?”

“Yeah, shoot them at me!”

She cleared her throat and started to list the names: “Bryan Johansson, Lola Kensington, Olivia York …” And she kept on going in what seemed like ages. How many people did she invite? 150? I really didn’t know how she was going to fit them all in her house at once.

It was first when I heard her list those five last names of the list that my body froze.

“Harry Styles, Liam Payne, Zayn Malik, Niall Horan, Louis Tomlinson.”

A couple of seconds passed before it dawned to me what had just happened: My secret boyfriend and his four best friends were coming to Jordan’s party. To me they were all unwanted at the place, but clearly Jordan thought otherwise. I felt like quitting the party at first, but then I realized that it wasn’t an option: I couldn’t do that to my best friend.

I asked myself on what to do, because I already knew what the party would bring: Trouble. 

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