Relatable and Not-So-Relatable Rants

Things that personally just get on my nerves and I thought I should share, more the less I needed somewhere to get my anger out before I blow up. Hope you can relate, because right now I feel like I'm the only one who's bugged by these things

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35. Is that really her? Mixed Signals Rant!

Why yes, indeed it is. 

I have so much to tell! So much to complain about! And my depression has finally left me, and I think it's time to return to my writing. 

Bitch all you want about my disappearance, but I was severely depressed. Please understand this. 

Anyway, personal talk over! Now that I'm back after half a year, let's talk mixed signals!

 

So, this boy in my school (I've moved schools, by the way) always looks at me. Allow me to explain. 

I have this tendency to look around whatever room I'm in because I'm always curious as to what is going on around me. So, as I make my casual glance around the room, Tom looks up just as my eyes are directed his way. Our eyes connect, and we literally just like stare into each other's eyes for about 3 seconds until I look away awkwardly. It's been happening since my first day at the god damn school! But that's not all! Even when we aren't in a classroom. Like, for instance, at a football game. I was at a football game with my friend Rafaela and I'm walking one way and Tom is chasing his friend (childish, I know) and it just seems like, as he passes me, he slows down a little and our eyes meet. It isn't even intentional! It's like, time stops for a second and we kind of just stay there, in a single moment, looking at each other as though we've had a long past and we longingly wish we could mend things. But we've never even said one word to each other! It happens over 10 times a day, no exaggeration. I just, I wish I could talk to him. Tell him I'm not some creepy girl that is always staring at him, because I'm not! I don't stare at him! It's just something that happens. I just honestly hope he doesn't think I'm staring at him, because that would be bad. And, reading over my words, it sounds kind of romantic, but it isn't in any way. It's quite creepy, if I may say. It just seems as though I've known him. Because I have this weird sense of happy memories when I see him, but I know I've never talked to him before in my life. Maybe he just reminds me of somebody I once knew. My only thing is, how does he feel about all of this? I know it isn't my imagination. It's happened too often for that to be so.

 

So this brings me to the topic of mixed signals. He does all of this, yet he doesn't talk to me? Like there was this boy once upon a time that literally straight up said he'd love to has me as his girlfriend one day. Then he legit started talking about some other girl. What the hell? Please, don't confuse me. I get confused way too easily. 

 
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