This is me.

Winter has always had a hard life. From running away from home, to the emotional abuse, to failing school. Just when things seem to go even further downhill, the new kid in town decides to take interest in her. Everyone knows the kind of trouble she gets into, so why do he want her? Will this start something new? Can she finally turn her life around?


2. Change f****** sucks

I took a few days to get facts about Harry secondhand. In about a week I knew that: His favorite color was either blue or orange, his full name was Harold Edward Styles, he has a sister, the boys are thinking about starting a band and he suggested the name "One Direction", he moved here from England last week, he hates it when girls cuss, especially in front of him, and he loves it when girls want to cuddle.
Word got around to him that I wasn't all I appeared to be. He knew about my prescription drug addiction, my drinking problem, I'm a runaway and my mom still hasn't found me, I've attempted suicide five times within the last year, and I've slept with almost every guy in our grade. Then again, who doesn't know about that. It's not like my private life is exactly private.
The only thing that remained a secret was my feelings for Harry. Nobody knows. And, just like what goes on in the girl's bathroom at 3:30, it will stay that way.

After school, I went to my apartment and dropped my bag on the table before turning the tv on. There was nothing good to watch, so I shut it off after five minutes. I sat on the couch wondering what to do when I heard a sudden boom next door. I nearly jumped out of my skin when I heard it. I jumped up and ran to the front door and threw it open, prepared to cuss out whoever disturbed my boredom.
What I saw surprised me.
I'd know that curly hair anywhere. It was Harry. I leaned against the doorway, trying to seem casual, yet snobby. He didn't turn to look at me, so I cleared my throat. He set a box inside the doorway of the apartment next door before turning to smile at me. Damn that smile. It was beautiful. I cocked one eyebrow before asking, "What exactly do you think you're doing? Are you following me?"
He turned to the door and beamed before turning back to me. He leaned against the doorway, arms crossed, before saying, "Oh, I'm sorry princess, but it looks like we're going to be neighbors." Part of me wanted to scream out in happiness and jump up and down, but instead I nodded as if to say "cool, I don't care" before turning to go back into my apartment. I heard him holler after me, "See ya around, neighbor!" I stifled a chuckle before slamming the door closed. Just on the other side of the door, I heard him laugh.
The next few weeks aren't really eventful. Harry and I saw each other in the morning when we left for school and around 4:15 when I got home. Despite what I told him, he waved and said hello every day. Not at school, but around the apartment complex. He knew better than to try to talk to me at school. He wasn't that stupid.
Wintertime, as usual, was cold and unforgiving. People say this is when I'm pissed off the most, as it is my time of year. There were a whole bunch of poems written about me in my sophomore English class comparing me to the season of winter. I got ahold of some of these poems, and I must say, some were really beautiful. Here's my favorite:

Despite the coldness buried within her,
Winter is beautiful.
She comes in flashed of white
And disappears in shadows of black.
You can say she's cruel,
I'll say she's misunderstood
You'll never understand my love for her,
If you don't first dance in her light.

I never found out who wrote this, it just appeared mysteriously in my locker one day just before 3:30. I read it then searched the halls for any sign that someone had been there. It was empty. Full of nothing. No clues to be found. I told my close friend, Maria, about it.
She lit a joint and took a long drag before saying, "Looks like someone's looking to get laid!" Then she cracked up, nearly falling into the sink. She passed me the joint and I took a long drag, letting the drug fill my lungs. This is just what I needed.
I took another drag, shorter this time, before responding, "What if it's Harry's?" This time, Maria DID fall in the sink, soaking her black skinny jeans and the bottom of her black sweater.
" SHIT," she called out. Just then, Leah walked in, checking to see if we were okay.
"We're fine, Leah. But just how are we supposed to know if someone's walking down the hall towards here if our lookout isn't... I dunno. LOOKING OUT?" I snapped. Leah wasn't much to this group. We basically used her as a monkey, doing everything we didn't want to do ourselves. Stupid girl doesn't even realize that we're using her, and that made me laugh. Or maybe it was the weed. Or maybe... Just maybe, it was all of those painkillers I took before I came here. Probably a combination of both.
I couldn't unlock my car in the parking lot because my hand was shaking. I dropped my keys and howled with laughter, attracting a few strange looks from everyone around me. I glared at them until they looked away. Stupid bitches, I thought, staring at me like I'm a lunatic. My own sense of humor made me laugh even more.
After fumbling with my keys for five more minutes, I felt a gentle hand on my back, pressing the cool leather of my shirt into my skin. I knew immediately who it was. I whirled around and saw the head of the basketball team, Aaron Donaldson. His pupils were the size of quarters an I knew mine were the same. We laughed for a while before he opened up the back door of my car and slid in right after me. I knew what was coming.
Pretty soon, he was on top of me, working off my black denim shorts and leather top. Despite the fact that I was sky high, I didn't respond to his actions. I wasn't entirely thrilled about the fact that Aaron and I had sex before and now he was back for more. That kinda pissed me off, but I had a reputation to keep, so I let him do whatever.
When we were done, or rather, when HE was done, he simply opened up the car door and left me laying alone and naked in the back. This is when I decided.
I need to change.

I told my best friend, Brittney, how I felt about Harry. When I finished, her jaw dropped and her eyes doubled in size. "Are you fucking crazy?" She asked while lighting up a cigarette.
"Shit, Britt, if you're gonna smoke, open up the window first!" I snapped. I was hoping she'd understand how I felt about Harry. I trusted her the most out of all of my girls, and she's helped me with everything.
After she inhaled and exhaled the smoke from her cigarette she apologized. "I'm sorry, Winter. Matt and I are fighting again and I'm just really high-strung. If you want to be with Harry, you're going to have to make some major changes," she said with a serious look on her face.
I nodded and told her I'd do anything. She put out her cigarette, pulled out a credit card, and said, "Shopping time, doll."
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