Coincidental Meeting (A Louis Tomlinson Fanfic)

I meet Louis Tomlinson by complete coincidence. I'll let you figure out the rest.
*Note* Not your typical fanfic about a One Direction member.

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33. 33. How To Save A Life

Feeling the blade in my hand was helping. I felt like I was in control again but I knew I wasn't. But, it doesn't meant that it didn't feel going trying to pretend. I looked up, remembering my faith slightly. I asked why? Times like this is when I lost my faith the most and I never really fully gained it back. I'd believe but not the same way I use to believe.

I could feel the tears rolling down my cheeks and falling around me. I was losing myself again and I wasn't prepared for it. The thoughts were consuming my mind and I felt as if nothing else mattered. I didn't want to go numb. I wouldn't let myself go numb. I knew if I didn't make myself feel soon then who knows what I would become?

I ran the blade over an old scar. Cutting through scar tissue was hard, but not impossible. It caused more pain and that's how I liked to be able to feel. I was feeling again, not the way that I was suppose to feel though.

Then I saw some light flooding the bathroom from the hallway. Louis had got the door open and was there on the floor with me. He took the blade and through it across the floor and I felt my chest heave.

"I'm here. I'm here." I lost count as to how many times he must have said this. His arms were wrapped around me tight and I could have made him let me go but he gave me slight feeling again. Just a little bit but it was something. It wasn't like with other people, I could feel his love.

He was trying to make me consume his love. He kissed my forehead and held me close. I was feeling his love and I knew it was real. I could tell that everything Louis had said to me was real. Louis' fingers were running through my hair and he was still saying, "I'm here."

We laid there on the floor for hours. It could have been days and I wouldn't have known the difference. The sun was rising outside the window and it reminded me of the last time we watched the sun rise together. It wasn't bad like this. It was a wonderful night and here I was messing up everything. Just like I always do. I use to believe that my father was the reason I couldn't be happy but I was slowly realize that I was the reason I couldn't be happy.

I had stopped crying awhile ago and now that the sun was rising I guess Louis found it fitting to try and talk to me.

"Maria. What happened? Why?" he said this while looking at the dried up blood that was on me and then glancing across the room at the blade that was lying on the floor.

"I refuse to go numb."

I knew he wanted a longer answer but I got up and stood at the window. I stared outside and it wasn't long before Louis was right there beside me.

"I want to help you."

"You can't fix me."

"I didn't say you were broken."

"You didn't have to."

We went silent for a moment and I realized I was pushing him away. I just wondered how much longer he would try and stay? How much longer would he stick around to deal with the broken girl? Would he even make it through another night like this? How could he?

He could leave. He could go and have his pick of any girl in the world.

"Tell me, why are you here?" I asked him. I know my tone came across cold but I didn't really care at the moment.

"Really? I don't want to leave you. I love you," he took my hands and I was shocked. "I'll be here. I won't leave you. Not until I know you'll be safe."

The worst and best part of this is, I believed him. I believed every word that just spilled out of his mouth.

"I need music."

He looked at me strange and I walked to the bedroom. Louis followed me and just stared at me while I put my iPod on the dock and scrolled through songs.

"Sometimes, music helps. Not always. Music is an escape. Sit with me?"

He nodded and I pulled up P!nk's Family Portrait. I laid on the ground and stared at the ceiling while Louis laid down beside me. I listened to the beat as my fingers played on the floor. I started singing.

Mama please stop cryin'
I can't stand the sound
Your pain is painful and it's
Tearing me down

I could feel Louis staring at me. I looked over at him, "Lyrics speak."

Then I started to sing again. I finished the entire song and Louis grabbed my hand. "I'm here."

He continued to remind me through the next few songs. Some I sang and others I just laid there and listened to. The next song that started playing was How To Save A Life by The Fray. I started singing without thinking. It was a natural reaction to this song.

Step one you say we need to talk
He walks you say sit down it's just a talk
He smiles politely back at you
You stare politely right on through
Some sort of window to your right
As he goes left and you stay right
Between the lines of fear and blame
And you begin to wonder why you came

"Maria?" I looked over at Louis, "Let me help you through this. Let me be the one you need."

I looked away and finished singing the song.

"You can't help me, I have to help myself."

Louis remained silent for a few seconds before he finally said, "Maria. I'm going to help you."

**

Over the next month Louis helped me talk about my feelings more and more. Louis made me realize I can't let my father get inside my head. I had to stop being bait to him. I had to stop doing everything he said just out of guilt.

Louis knew that he couldn't leave me alone. I thought he would get sick of me. Louis even got into an argument with management about me. They said Louis couldn't bring me to the studio. Louis told them he would continue to bring me to the studio and if they had a problem with it he would stop showing up.

I started staying over at Louis' and Harry's apartment. It was the end of June when I overheard a conversation between Louis and Harry. I caught the middle of it but it was enough.

"I love her Harry. I would do anything for her."

"I'm starting to love Emily but I don't spend that much time with her."

"Harry, she's the one."

"Okay Louis."

"She's been through a lot. I mean a lot. More than either of us could really imagine."

"Emily told me a little bit."

"Yeah, I need to be there for her."

"Okay man. But, tomorrow can we go to the studio without her? It's important."

Zayn walked in the door right then and there.

"Hey boys," he said with his thick accent.

"Hey," they replied in unison.

"Louis. Before I ask you can you please consider the thought before yelling at me?" Zayn asked with a serious face on.

"What is it?"

"Perrie is realizing that Maria isn't going anywhere. She thinks it would be good if she got to know Maria. Brianna and Emily are in the picture but it's pretty well known that Maria isn't going anywhere."

"I don't know if now is the best time," Louis said.

"Yeah man. Maybe Perrie should apologize first." Harry said trying to be mutual.

"That's what she wants to do. Please. Let's all go to lunch tomorrow?" Zayn asked in a way that was sort of demanding.

"I'll ask her."

"I can hear you!" I screamed from the other room before getting up and walking into the kitchen where they were all talking. "I don't like people talking about me like I'm not here."

It was funny that none of the other boys had caught my "down" persona. I used to be so cheery now I was a bit bitchy and gloomy. They must have thought I was weird. Zayn and Niall might not have cared, and Harry and Liam were consumed with Brianna and Emily. They probably just hadn't noticed completely.

"We can go, if you want Louis."

"I think it's a good idea."

I wanted to be treated normally again and I was beginning to think that it was possible for me to be normal. I hadn't cried in two weeks. I hadn't had a bad thought in one week. Louis was truly helping me and I was falling in love with him.

"Good job at keeping her out of the press too Louis," Zayn said. "Well, I'll see you guys tomorrow. Twelve?"

"Sounds good," Louis and I said in unison.

Harry shook his head.

I leaned up and kissed Louis. It had been awhile since I had kissed him in front of other people but I missed him. I was done with the gloominess. I knew I wasn't completely mended but I knew that the more time I spent with Louis the easier things would get.

Louis is the best thing to ever happen to me.

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