One Night Stand

When clubbing leads to so much more...
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4. Diary

My obstetrician told me that I should try keeping a diary while I am pregnant, to take out all of the negative feelings I have. This means it shouldn't cause a strain on our relationship. Here goes!

5 weeks

Morning sickness is such a bitch. It feels like I am throwing up in every toilet there is!! You can't really see my bump much yet, but you know it is there. The chance of miscarriage is quite high so Oscar is being so protective of me! It is kinda getting on my nerves now. I'm probably being really moody but he is being such a supportive boyfriend. I'm quite hot all the time now and Oscar says my feet warm him up if he gets cold in the night. He's such a cutie!

12 weeks

My feet feel like they have been crushed by a bulldozer, and my bump is really starting to show. Oscar keeps begging me to let him touch it, but I honestly can't be bothered. I am being such a bitch! I keep apologising to him, and he gets mad sometimes but you can't really blame him. He is the father after all. I am at the end of my first trimester now, so my anxiety has reduced. It is really unlikely that I will have a miscarriage now! Oscar was so pleased when the obstetrician told us that. I have gotten so fat and just can't stop eating!

13 weeks

We went for my first scan today It made me so happy to see our little baby growing inside of me. I can't even describe how good it felt! On the downside, I have horrendous backache and leg cramps - so much for the second trimester being easier! Oscar and I are arguing about whether we ask to know what the gender of the baby is at the next scan - I want to know, but Oscar doesn't. I might find a way to lie, then go down to the obstetricians myself, then act all surprised when it's born. I'm not really sure what to do.

30 weeks

I'm sorry I haven't been keeping this diary very well - it's just a bit of a stress over nothing really, and a bit pointless. In the third trimester now, and I think I might have depression. The doctors say it is a side effect of pregnancy, and 1 in 10 women get it. Oscar is doing everything he can to make me feel better, but it's just not working. I feel so alone! I am sooo tired all the time and my feet are huge - they are size 8 now!! I just can't believe it. I'm also secretly kind of scared about giving birth. I want Marnie and Oscar to be there, right by my side.

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