Jim's Holy Diary 2010

Jim tells the story of his life, week by week

© Tee Heebee, 2013

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2. Week 2 January 8-14

January 8: The Holidays ended and I went to work at Mcdonalds. I forgot were the toilets where so I took a shit in the chip fryer.

January 9: I went back to work at Mcdonalds were they fired me. I am not quite sure why?

January 10: My mum was a bit cross with me because I got fired so I ran away from home.

January 11: I forgot my Teddy Bear so I ran back home only to find that they had gone on Holiday shouting he's gone, he's gone. I realised that I forgot to pack food so I decided to go to Asda . I didn't have money so I stole their most Healthy drink: Washing Up Liquid, and Healthy Food: Doggy Biscuits.

January 12: I broke into my home where I managed to find my private marijauna stock. I shoved it all up my nose and played on my xbox.

January 13: I had a coma due to a mixture of drinking Fairy Liquid and Vodka and crushed up dog treats.

January 14: Today I had the best day so far today, my mate bob came round and we ordered pizza with no topping and then we had to put on three of our own toppings, each. I chose pickled eggs, custard and Baileys. Wheras Bob chose Pepperoni, Chicken and bacon. Then we played call of duty modern warfare for seven hours with only one break to smoke some fags. Then I opened some Jellytots and swalloed them packet and all. Then I made some plastic exsplosives and blew up our neighbours house. YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!

 

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