Jim's Holy Diary 2010

Jim tells the story of his life, week by week

© Tee Heebee, 2013

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1. Week 1 January 1-7

January 1: Today, I sniffed some potatoes because they were there, before they announced on Television that Gordon Brown was no longer prime minister, and instead Justin Beiber had been voted in. I quickly ran up to my room and attempted suicide. My parents burst into the room and told me they were kidding and to sit down slowly and pass them the knife I was holding. I was angry at them telling the joke so I killed them.............................................Just Kidding,I only killed one of them Fooled You. Then I ate chips for tea.

 

January 2: I smoked weed all day long.

 

January 3: I had A High from the weed I smoked yesterday and ran around my village of Jigglebottom singing i'm the invisible Hello Man.

January 4: WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!

January 5: Today I read Twilight and had a nervous breakdown/spasmwihfdipuwf iaewd zsyrdxgbnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn.

January 6: errr, i woke up in hospital and was told that i'll never have a girlfriend even though i'm twenty three i thought about eating the candle by my bed but I was told if i ate I would die of Food Poisoning... Whatever that is

January 7: I wrote a limerick it goes like this: I smoked some weed, and then I peed, I ate a rake, and buried a cake, hoping it would replace the seed.

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