Peace

Anna comes from a house hold split in half by a decades old war. But this is a war fought by words and not actions. All she has ever wanted is to find peace.

Her mother the devout christian has, since Anna could remember been trying to convert their family to christians, she made them go to church every sunday and said grace at every meal yet there is one problem.

Her father is a scientist specialising in the stars and their creation and he believes none of what her mother preaches. Their constant arguments have caused the family to take sides and now only Anna is left to choose.

But which can she choose; logic or faith?

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2. Entry 2 25/10/12

It's as I lift my head from my book that I realise it's half past six and the yelling has finally stopped Lottie has fallen asleep next to me and if she'd had dinner normally I'd leave her to sleep, but she hasn't and it's meant to be her favourite dinner today; chicken nuggets.

Gently I leaned across the bed and shook her shoulder slowly. Her eyes fluttered slightly before Lottie turned away from me burrowing her head into the pillow. I let out a little chuckle and got out of the bed moving round to the other side and crouching down level with her face.

"Come on Lottie" I said quietly "It's dinner time"

Lottie rolled over again and groaned "not hungry" she muttered

"Not even for chicken nuggets?" I asked

Lottie sat straight up at that "with waffles?" she asked

"With whatever you want" I replied standing up and moving towards the door smiling when I heard her scramble up behind me.

I held the door open for her as she passed and she ran ahead of me jumping the stairs two at a time making a right racket.

I raced after her and set to work on dinner at least for me and Lottie. Mum and Dad never ate after an argument and Harry was never home.

Harry was my brother, he's what you call a stud I suppose, or a jock. That would be the kind names for someone like him, there were plenty of worse ones that I could use. He had a new girl every week, sometimes 2 or 3 in a week. He had definetly decided which side of mum and dad's argument he was on, that was made obvious when he started bring girls home.

He soon stopped that when mum started yelling at him about adultery and promiscurity.

That was also when he stopped being home. Now he comes home at exactly 10.46pm each night through his bedroom window, sleeps here then leaves again at 6.11am the next mornign having grabbed a change of clothes breakfast a packed lunch and most days he has a shower.

He's 17 so legaly he can't live on his own so he compromises, his stuff is in our house and he sleeps here but he basically lives on his own probably in a friends loft or a bedsit.

I set two plates at the table and poured two glasses of juice before grabbing the cutlery and sitting down opposite Lottie. I reached for her hands and she joined mine without thinking.

Grace is something that has been engrained in us since we were tiny, dad used to go along with it but now he only joins the table after we've said grace or doesn't join us at all.

"Lord we thankyou for this food that we have been given and we ask you to bless our family and those less privelidged than us with health and wellbeing Amen" Lottie was always serious when saying grace she still supported mum, she wasn't at the stage where she understood dad's arguments of science and physics.

I however was stuck between my parents. not yet sure who I really believed.

We finished our dinner in silence and I walked Lottie upstairs and tucked her into her bed pulling up the pink blanket's that I'd sewn sequins onto last week.

"Goodnight" I whispered as I kissed Lottie on the forehead and flicked the main light off leaving the lamps on. I shut the door behind me and ran downstairs and out into the garden where I am now writing this.

This is always the hardest time for me, Lottie's in our room and I can't be in there when she's trying to sleep, mum's normaly out at some club or orginisation to help the unfortunate who are homeless or hungry and dad's normaly in the study working.

I have very few friends at school, I can't bring them home or ask people round my house, not my house that is being split apart by war. My upbringing has also made me very opinionated, though I can't decide which side I'm arguing for, and people don't want friends who are going to speak their mind. They want friends who will tell them good things, things they want to hear. I couldn't hang out with anyone after school, besides Lottie needed me.

I've never dated, Mum had brought me up thinking that you shouldn't date until you were an adult and that you shouldn't date someone just for sex, whilst I got many offers from boys at school I knew they all wanted me for my looks, not me however corny that sounds.

So I normally resorted to sitting in the garden in the summer and in the garage in winter. There was no TV in my house, mum thought it was a corrupting influence so I couldn't even watch TV like most kids in my situation would do.

 

Sometimes I drew things, whatever I saw and whatever came into my mind. I supose originally it was another way to get my parents attention, show that I was good at something, I'd always been clever and I'd originally hoped that by showing that I was good at something else they would take intrest in me. It didn't happen though. I still draw however, it was something that I was good at and I could do it whilst thinking, though now I suppose I'll be writing in this diary instead.

I think I know what mum was getting at when she gave me this book, she was aknowledging she doesn't talk to me enough but then she seems to think this will make it better.

 

I just glanced down at my watch and it's 9.30, I put Lottie to bed at 7 so she should be asleep by now so I'm going to bed. Goodnight Diary.

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