Peace

Anna comes from a house hold split in half by a decades old war. But this is a war fought by words and not actions. All she has ever wanted is to find peace.

Her mother the devout christian has, since Anna could remember been trying to convert their family to christians, she made them go to church every sunday and said grace at every meal yet there is one problem.

Her father is a scientist specialising in the stars and their creation and he believes none of what her mother preaches. Their constant arguments have caused the family to take sides and now only Anna is left to choose.

But which can she choose; logic or faith?

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1. Entry 1 25/10/12

You know how sometimes, you just... want to be free?

That's me, but for me it's all the time. Right now I want to be free of this diary, mum gave it to me

"it'll be good for you Anna" she said "letting out your emotion in your writing since you obviously can't do it with me"

Mums like that constantly pressing down surrounding me confining me, and I have no where to run, no where to hide. Mum always says that the Lord can see you wherever you are but I think she may have just said that to stop us messing her around when we were younger. It doesn't work on me now. Whenever mum used to say things like that about the almighty lords omnipresent ability dad would let out this little snort, he'd obviously perfected it over the years, just quiet enough so mum couldn't hear but loud enough for the rest of us.

Dad's a scientist, a strict non-believer in all things metaphysical and godly, as he puts it 'there is simply no evidence to suggest that there is a powerful deity like figure out there.' Sometimes dad forgets that at home he's not a scientist anymore.

But thats the problem, he forgets and he acts like a scientist and thinks like a scientist. Really that's whats caused the arguments between them because dad can't let go of his beliefs and mum can't let go of hers. From when i could understand marrige I had always wondered how mum and dad had even got together in the first place, it didn't really make sense. I mean mum studied theology at university and now writes books trying to explain to people 'what exactly is the bible' (that's the title to one of her books)

Dad meanwhile studied astrophysics at university and now has his own observatry where they are trying to research more into the formation of stars and how possibly our world could have started. Whenever i ask dad about his work in the house mum just huffs and says that it's fools work "the lord almighty made this planet and no human is ever going to be able to recreate that"

As I write this I'm lying on my bed, my only sanctuary. I share a room with my younger sister and when she's home from college my older sister as well so I literaly have no where else to go. last year I convinced mum to teach me how to use a sewing machine and I made some hangings out of some old fabric I found in the loft, it's noce on my bed with the hangings closed, it feels like I'm in a bubble of quiet something rather hard to come by in a house with 6 kids and 2 fighting parents. As I'm writing this I can hear dad's car pulling up in the drive the door slams and dad walks quickly towards the door as he comes in he yells in a really happy voice

"Good everning family" I mentally face palm. This is not good, when dad's happy it normally means he has discovered some new theory about how the earth formed or some other stuff like that. When that happens thats when mum and dad have their worst fights.

I hear the door to my room open and shut as soft footsteps pad across the carpet, I gently open my bed hangings and smile at my little sister Lottie. I don't even talk just held out my hand and help her into my bed. It's times like these that I actually like muy little sister because I actually feel like a big sister. Not like some filler in for when my older sister comes back. Lottie snuggles into my side and i sadly smile to myself. She's only 8, 7 years younger than me, but she's learnt that when daddy comes home happy it normally leads to mummy yelling at him.

 

 

Right sorry about that I got my ipod from my bedside table that I keep just for these purposes, I can focus on other things when mum and dad argue but Lottie can't so I do this everytime mum and dad argue she comes and sits with me in my bubble of peace and she listens to music on my ipod and plays temple run while I do homework or read. Today I'm writing in this diary instead of doing homework which will probably get me in trouble with my art teacher tommorow when that picture hasn't been drawn but I already have detention tommorow lunchtime with R.E for writing in my essay about the argument for or against evolution that I lived that argument and didn't need to write a freaking 500 word essay on it. The art teachers are all to lazy to stay after school so I'll get off free but I should probably do the maths homework as the teachers aren't quite so lenient.

I grabbed my bag from the deska and just as I was walking back to the bed I heard the yelling start up, you can normally tell from how loud mum is at the beginning how long the argument will go on, mum's so loud today I can quite clearly here what she's saying. It was something along the lines of

"And you think this is a good thing to be happy about? Do you know what god is probably thinking right now?" I decided I didn't want to here anymore and stuffed a blanket under the crack at the bottom of the door muffling the sound.

I climbed back into bed and pulled the heavy velvet hangings shut muffling the sound even more. I look down at Lottie who noticed me put the blanket under the door and has taken one earbud out

"It's going to be a long one today" I say. Lottie simply nods and put's her earbud back in resuming her game.

It makes me sad to see that Lottie has reached a point where it is normal for her that mum and dad argue, she knows that other parents don't do it but she has accepted that hers do.

I open my maths book and turn to the homework page; trigonometry, joy of joys.

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