I Solemnly Swear - Tales of Love and Loss

Dive into the land of love and desperation with 'I Solemnly Swear'. A collection of short stories both written and compiled together by Nella Grace, this book will have you laughing and crying in no time.
The stories in this book are based on songs, dreams and real life experiences.

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2. I remember

 

I remember it like it was just yesterday. A cold winter’s day, the smell of warm milk and coffee beans in the air, and I was wiping over the chocolate powder covered bench tops. I remember revelling in the peace of the store after a long period of endless customers, a steady trickle of people trying to keep warm. I remember readjusting my pony tail and turning around, only to find myself staring into a pair of beautiful green eyes. Leaning up against the wall separating front counter from Café, was the cutest guy I had ever met at work. He had light brown hair, a smile that could light up a room, dimples to die for; and a lean, muscular body.

Not being overly confident, I usually shied away from others, particularly attractive guys. I never shared more than a polite smile. So when I found myself talking to him, I was astounded. I remember talking all shift, flirting and having a great time. I remember the feeling I held all the way home, butterflies fluttering about my insides. I remember deciding I liked this guy, I ignored the part of me that knew it was totally ridiculous that sounded, but my heart was beating too hard for it to be heard. I remember jumping online, sending a friend request; and the horrid feeling of a sinking heart when I found out that he had a girlfriend.

I remember the following month, talking for hours on end each night. I remember being there for him during his break up with his girlfriend, and secretly jumping for joy inside. I remember the following months, every screw up, every crush and battered heart; I was there for him. Whenever he needed me I was there, always hoping he’d open his eyes and see how desperately in love with him I was.

I remember the day the boxes came; men dressed in blue came and dropped them off. I remember the sinking feeling and the way it felt to cry myself to sleep. I remember sitting at my desk and writing him a letter, one that he’d never read coz I would never give it to him. I wrote every little thing I loved about him; how his eyes sparkle when he’s happy, his laugh that’s almost as sweet as him; the feel of his arms around me. I loved the way his smile was bright enough to light up a room, how he sticks out his tongue when he’s concentrating and how he’s nerdy side only comes out when he talks to me. I loved everything about him, I still do.

Over four thousand kilometres away and I still think about him. I still think about the way his arms felt around me, hoe it felt to rest my head on his chest; and how he’d rest his chin on my head. I still think about all the things I should’ve told him, still think about kissing those lips I’d thought about for countless nights, imagining them pressing against mine.

I think about how he’s probably holding his new girlfriend right now, probably kissing her with those lips. I still think about him and everything he is, even if it breaks me up inside. Because once you start loving someone, and you never get the chance to see if you were meant to be, no matter how over him you think you might be; there will always be a part of you that is hopelessly in love with him.

I remember driving out of town, tears streaking my face, gently, silently kissing my cheeks. I remember closing my eyes, letting them fall; and dreaming of your face. I never wanted to leave, and I miss you more each day. With every passing hour, every passing breath; my heart yearns more to be back home with you. I miss you, I love you; and I’ll always remember. 

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