Two Loves

Abbi longs to fall in love. She longs to experience all of the feelings that come with being in love. She doesn't expect to be caught in a love triangle. She'll have to face heartbreak, confusion, and sacrifice. Will things turn out for her, or will she give up on the idea of love all together?

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15. Chapter 14

Those four simple words changed my world. Tipped it upside down. They sent a piercing throb of pain straight through my heart. Those four words were enough to drown out all the sound around me and set my hands shaking. The world around me disappeared, a deep ringing sounding in my ears as black specks danced before my eyelids.

And then, the black sparkly stars transformed into a familiar, colourful scene right before my eyes. Liam and I, in happier times. A flashback. Before I had a chance to react, the little picture changed. Another flashback of Liam and I. And then it changed again. And again. They were some of mine and Liam’s happiest memories, and it hurt to know that now he would be making new memories with someone else that wasn't me. But I had to let him go now. For good this time. He wasn't mine anymore. I wasn't really sure that he ever was.

I suddenly snapped back into awareness, the soft voices continuing to speak as if nothing strange had just occurred. No one seemed to notice my little breakdown, and for that I was grateful. I didn't particularly feel like explaining. But then I saw Niall glancing at me out of the corner of his eye, the familiar look of concern mirrored on his face that seemed to be permanently etched there. I just shook my head at him. He understood immediately, and then reached for my hand, but quickly pulled back as he thought better of it. I yearned for the comfort of his skin against mine, but I knew that wasn't possible. At least not while Liam was here. It would only make everything more complicated if he saw us holding hands before we told him about our relationship.

"Abbi?" Liam asked.

"Erm, sorry... What?"

"I was just wondering how you've been. I haven't seen you in such a long time!"

"Oh... Um, I've been well, I guess" No need to mention that I had been relying on self harm to take away the pain of losing someone I loved, or that I was currently in the difficult process of trying to make sense of my feelings for two different guys, one of which was standing in front of me with his arm wrapped around his new girlfriend's waist. "How about you?"

"I've been great, actually. I don't think I've ever been happier" Ouch. If that subtle dig was purposely meant to make me feel bad, it was certainly working. "Oh, and it's been two months since Matilda and I started dating! Already! It's just gone so quickly! I feel like time goes so slowly whenever we're together, and... I think she's the one..." He continued to ramble on and on, with a goofy smile on his face, as if Matilda was the best thing to ever happen to him. The way his brown eyes were locking with her green ones certainly confirmed that.

I was out of the room before he could say another word. It was only when I got to the kitchen and heard Niall and Liam talking in hushed voices did I realise I had made a mistake by walking suddenly out of the room. Liam would know something was up. I could hear him questioning Niall now. Niall seemed reluctant to tell him about my problems, but Liam was his best friend, and he eventually gave in as a rush of words poured from his mouth. Great. Another person to feel sorry for me. Someone else to brand me as a crazy, suicidal woman.

"I... did I say something wrong? What... what happened?" Liam sounded confused, and a little hurt as he tried to figure out what had set me off. I paced back and forth, too afraid to go back out there yet. Was Matilda there? Were my problems making themselves known to her? Was I now going to have some random girl know how messed up my life is? My heels made a clicking noise on the tiled floor as I continued pacing. I didn't really have a good reason as to why I was wearing heels. Liam was taller than me, and I always felt intimidated by him because he towered over me. It used to make me feel a little better, a little calmer, knowing that I was taller than him when a rare fight between us broke out and we were standing opposite, throwing vile words back and forth at each other, usually words that were only used in the heat of the moment and were regretted later. I hadn't expected a fight to occur between us today, but I had still worn my favourite heels anyway. Part of the reason, I guess, was because high heels were the only somewhat fashionable shoes I owned.

"Let's just say, you bragging about your new girlfriend probably didn't go down well with her" Niall's voice was bitter, and it took on the tone an adult used when they were talking to a child. Like it was blatantly obvious and Liam should have realized by now.

But Liam wasn't understanding. "I... don't understand"

"Oh, come on, Liam. You are raving on about how amazing your girlfriend is, while your ex is standing right in front of you, listening to every word. You can imagine how that would make Abbi feel"

Silence.

"Oh. Oh my god, I'm such a dick. I didn't realize.... I. Abbi, I'm so sorry" Liam whispered to himself, not knowing that I could hear every word that left his mouth.

I decided that this was a good time to get back to the living room. I didn't want Liam suffering unnecessarily. He wasn't to know. 

He stepped into the kitchen and planted himself firmly in front of me just as I was about to leave.

"Abbi, I'm so sor-" He began, but I interrupted him.

"There's no need for an apology, Liam. You couldn't have known. I overreacted" I was aware of Niall leaning awkwardly against the door frame and was grateful for the moral support he provided just by being here. 

"Please. Let me apologise. I'm not going to feel any better unless I apologise to you"

"Seriously, Liam, I'm okay now. It's fine. We're fine" I honestly had no idea why he was making such a big deal out of this. Says the girl who just admitted to overreacting.

"Liam! Just let it go! If she says it's fine, then it's fine. If she says she doesn't want an apology, then don't apologise. It's simple!" Niall piped up.

"Why do you care so much, anyway?" Liam retorted, irritated that Niall had taken my side instead of his. I rolled my eyes. Boys!

"I care because I value her happiness. Because I hate seeing her upset. And you arguing with her is obviously making her upset. I care about her, Liam. She's my girlfriend, and I love-" He cut himself off abruptly, realising that he had let the cat out of the bag. He instantly looked guilty. "Oh, shit"

Oh shit, alright! This was worse than 'oh shit!'. This was bad. This was really bad.

"Wh... what did you say?" Liam stuttered through his anger. And then he was yelling as his anger raged stronger. "YOU ARE DATING MY EX?" 

He lunged towards Niall, as if he was actually contemplating even laying a finger on him, when I jumped in between them.

"Liam! Snap out of it! Calm down. Let's talk about this"

"Calm down? You expect me to CALM DOWN? HOW LONG HAS THIS BEEN GOING ON?"

And then Matilda was there, soothingly stroking his face and leading him over to the couch. It seemed to work, because he stopped yelling, but his hands were still visibly shaking. It was a big improvement, however. I was amazed at how Matilda had managed to calm him down so quickly, and also a little jealous that I'd never been able to.

Niall grabbed my hand, holding it tightly in his as he stepped in front of me protectively and tugged me behind him as we followed Liam to the sofa.

"Matilda, would you mind giving us some privacy please?" Liam spat through clenched teeth.

She nodded once and then stepped outside after trailing her fingers across his face.

In that moment, Liam looked so dangerous, so enraged, that I cringed into Niall's side, afraid. He was like an angry, fierce tornado, ready to destroy anything in his path. I only hoped that he didn't have the potential to deliver as much devastation as a tornado. 

 

 

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