Two Loves

Abbi longs to fall in love. She longs to experience all of the feelings that come with being in love. She doesn't expect to be caught in a love triangle. She'll have to face heartbreak, confusion, and sacrifice. Will things turn out for her, or will she give up on the idea of love all together?

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13. Chapter 12

I was a mess as the boys drove me to the arranged meeting place. Liam had flown from London to California in order for us to have this... meeting, I guess you could call it. I took it as a good sign that Liam had willingly flown across the world to see me, thinking that maybe he was eager to put our differences behind us and start again.

Originally, the purpose of this meeting was for Liam to believe that I had forgiven him, so that he wouldn't feel so terrible anymore. I guess it was kind of for my benefit too. If Liam could just hug me and tell me that everything would be okay, we could go back to our separate homes and maybe the pain would start to ease. The plan wasn't for Liam and I to kiss and make up, because I didn't want that. Liam might want that, but I don't. 

Okay. That's not entirely true. I didn't not want that. I didn't know what I wanted. 

Lou was sitting next to me in the back seat, gripping my hand tightly. I felt relieved to know that I had people here for me, but Louis' hand on mine didn't serve the purpose I think he wanted it to. It didn't calm my nerves. I don't think anything could do that.

Zayn was squished into the backseat next to me and Louis, and Niall and Harry were in the front. Harry was driving, of course. He wasn't the only one with his licence, but he was probably the most confident and reasonable driver. Louis and Niall also both had their licences, but I think Louis believed it was his job to stay with me in the back, and Niall probably didn't feel confident driving a whole car full of people, seeing as he had had his licence for the least time out of the four of us. And me; well, I was almost certain that I wasn't capable of driving in my current condition. 

We finally arrived at the little dilapidated shack on the outskirts of California. I could see Liam's car parked a bit further down the road, the tall grass reaching half way up the glossy paint job.

It was actually quite beautiful out here. On one side, I was greeted by the distant sight of stretching mountain ranges, and on the other side, I could hear the sounds of huge waves crashing on the shore.

Where we were, though, there was nothing but a few rundown shacks, similar to this one, that once could have been home to someone, and a few gravel roads that sloped down a grassy hill. High grass surrounded the place, a dead, brown colour due to the lack of rain. There was a spectacular lake a bit behind the shack though, and along with the sounds of the waves, I could hear the stream bubbling quietly. I suppose you could call it beautiful out here; birds chirping peacefully, butterflies buzzing all around.

My heart began to speed up, pumping away in my chest, as my eyes traveled to where I could see Liam leaning against his car. His back was to me, but even though I couldn't see his face, I could tell that he wasn't in a good condition. His hair was unusually messy, his clothes dirty and creased.

My chest tightened at this sight; he wasn't taking the breakup well, either. Maybe he was even worse off than me...

"Do you want us to come with you?" Niall asked from the front seat, interrupting my thoughts.

"No, no. Thanks. But this is something I have to do by myself. Besides, things could get ugly" The reason we had chosen to meet somewhere out of the public eye was in case anger, or pain got the best of us and we started shouting. I was going to try my best to be as civilized and calm as possible, but I couldn't promise anything.

"We'll be right here. We're not going anywhere" Niall assured me, softly kissing my cheek.

I smiled and blew kisses to the boys before stepping out of the car.

"Good luck!" I heard them shout as I turned my back and made my way through the thick grass to where Liam was still leaning against his car.

He must have heard the grass rustling as I walked, because he turned around as I approached. My heart sunk into my stomach as I saw his face.

He had dark shadows under his eyes and his face was unbelievably pale. His brown eyes were bloodshot, but I had no idea if it was because of a lack of sleep or because of the after effects of alcohol or drugs. I hoped it was the first one. The boys had told me that Liam was relying a lot on alcohol, and I hoped that he wasn't drunk. That would only make this even more complicated, and I didn't need anymore complication in my life.

We stood there for a long time, just staring at each other, both of us unsure of what to say. His eyes brightened when he saw me though, and my heart sped even faster. As if that was even possible!

"Hey" He finally said. 

"Hi Liam" I replied, kind of awkwardly.

"Um... so, how have you been?" He asked curiously.

"Okay. I guess. Well, actually. Not so good" I admitted. "How about you?"

"Mmm... not too well either".

We continued on like this, thinking of things to make small talk. I finally got impatient  and said what we both were probably thinking.

"Look, Liam. You and I both know what we came here for. Just quit it with the small talk"

He sighed. "You're right. I'm sorry. I really am. I'm sorry about everything. I'm sorry for lying to you, I'm sorry for underestimating you. I'm just sorry for everything, Abbi. I really am. And I just need to tell you... I.... I'm still in love with you"

"I'm sorry too, Liam. I'm sorry for leaving you over one little mistake. Don't blame it all on yourself, though. A relationship takes two, and I made mistakes too. I'm so sorry for hurting you, I just... I forgive you Liam, I really do. I still love you too. But... I don't think we should get back together. I just think we'd be better being friends, and seeing other people. I'm sorry"

I saw Liam's face drop as I said this, and my heart dropped again. He looked so miserable, so hurt, that I leaned forward and hugged him. He stroked my hair as my tears spilled over.

"I'm glad things are good between us, Ab. I really am" He smiled slightly, pulling away.

"Me too. I have to go now, but keep in touch, okay?" I told him, kissing his cheek and then making my way back to the car.

I know I should feel happy that things were back to normal between Liam and I, or, well, as normal as things could be, but I couldn't feel that happiness. Because every time I closed my eyes, Liam's devastated face flashed behind my lids. I couldn't stop feeling guilty. I was the reason for his pain.

Yes, I was still in love with Liam, I knew that for sure. But I couldn't do this right now. I couldn't be with him again yet, not when the perfect person for me was sitting in a car only a short ways away. Maybe I would give Liam another chance later on, but now wasn't the right time.

My feelings for Niall just kept getting stronger and stronger, and as long as I kept trying to deny my feelings, things would just keep getting worse. It was time. I loved Niall, and I wanted to give him a chance. I was going to give him a chance. He was one of my only sources of happiness left in this life, and I needed him.

 

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