Two Loves

Abbi longs to fall in love. She longs to experience all of the feelings that come with being in love. She doesn't expect to be caught in a love triangle. She'll have to face heartbreak, confusion, and sacrifice. Will things turn out for her, or will she give up on the idea of love all together?

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12. Chapter 11

The sound of a roaring engine reached my ears, indicating that I had visitors. I didn't know if they were here to see me or Mum, but I figured they were more likely visiting Mum rather than me, so I didn't allow myself to get my hopes up.

I struggled to get out of the wooden chair I had been curled up on for God knows how long, my stiff legs protesting as I slowly made my way over to the window. It was currently the middle of Summer in sunny California, and my bedroom window was covered in a humid, sticky perspiration.

I scrubbed my hand over the glass, removing the mist so that the driveway and gardens below were now visible. I was surprised at what greeted me. Actually, 'surprised' was an understatement! 

Harry's 1990 Porsche Carrera 2 was parked on the stone driveway, it's engine strumming as it idled. Now, I wasn't much of a fan of cars. Personally, I didn't see what was so special about them. Sure, they provided a source of transport instead of walking everywhere, and some were nice to look at, but that was all. But I did have an appreciation for the beautiful, shiny red vintage car. I stared at it in admiration, wondering how many cars Harry had now.

All traces of admiration and awe dissapeared as all four doors of the car clicked open and the boys stepped out. All except Liam, of course. I had been hopeful for a moment when I'd seen the boys pull up. I thought maybe Liam had re- thought our relationship and was coming to apologise. No such luck!

Fear clouded my eyes as the boys walked up the driveway, getting closer and closer to the door with each step they took. I quickly tossed away the bloody razor I'd just used, not bothering to see where it landed, as long as it was out of site, and messily stuck a few band aids over my fresh wound.

I hadn't seen the boys in months. They'd all gone off to audition for the X-Factor. Back when Liam and I were together (oh, how I so missed those wonderful days), Liam had told me he was in a band. We had gotten into a heated argument over it, and to be fair, it was probably one of the reasons that our relationship hadn't worked out.

When Liam had told me he was in a band with the other boys, I'd been shocked. But I couldn't have imagined anything like this. I had assumed that they'd just been a casual band, practicing for fun every afternoon after Uni or whatever, maybe playing a few gigs around the city occasionally. 

That's why I'd been so shocked when they'd told me they were auditioning for the X-Factor, and why I was so surprised to see them now. Months ago, before they'd left, Niall had made me promise that I would stop cutting. He'd been reluctant to leave me, afraid of what might happen if he left for even a little while, but I'd encouraged him to go out and live his life. 

He'd been right to worry about me, though. The months without Niall had been hard. He'd always been so supportive of me, so loving. Things had even started looking up when he was with me, but then he'd ruined things when he left with the other boys. Without his presence, I felt empty. He was always there to make me smile, to tell lame jokes and take my mind off Liam for a couple hours.

But then he'd left, and things got worse. I felt like he had taken half of myself with him when he left, and I'd spiraled into another deep depression, cutting myself to take away the pain, the knowledge that I'd now lost not only one, but two of the most important people in my life

That's why I was so terrified of coming face to face with him again after all these months. I was excited to see him again, of course. To have him back in my arms, to stay up all night talking and watching movies like we used to. But I was mostly afraid. Afraid that he would find out I'd broken my promise to him. Afraid that he'd catch me cutting again, and turn into that raging monster, just like the first night he'd caught me. 

I was, though, rather eager to hear how the X-Factor went for the boys, and most importantly, whether or not they had won. Niall had called me excitedly after the auditions, gushing about how the band had gotten through. He'd also called again after they made it past Boot camp  and again after Judges Houses, and then again the first week of Live Shows, but I hadn't heard from him after that. The other boys had called quite a lot while they were away on their big adventure, updating me on what they had been up to and telling me how much they wished I was there. 

I'd never received a call from Liam, though, and I was actually kind of grateful for that. I don't know how I would have handled that, hearing his voice. I actually haven't spoken to Liam since that fateful day, almost a year ago. I'd also never watched the boys on X-Factor. One, because I didn't have a TV and never had enough motivation to leave my room and go downstairs to watch, and two, because I wasn't ready to see Liam yet, if only through a TV screen. But I had a feeling the boys might win; I still felt like they were rocking up on my doorstep victorious. I'd heard them all sing before, even Liam, and felt confident that their voices, along with their passion and their drive, would carry them through.

I was brought back to the present by a loud, echoing knock at the front door. I decided to stay in my room and let Mum answer it, so they wouldn't straight away know that I knew they were here and had been watching them from the window. And, from their lack of noise and the cheeky, excited expressions on each of their faces, I figured that they wanted to surprise me.

I didn't know how they could think they could just rock up at my house in that noisy car and expect me not to know they were here, but I wasn't about to ruin this for them.

I was back in my chair, pretending to read a book, when they entered my room. I suspected that they were trying to be as quiet as possible, but the loud thuds of their shoes against the floor instantly gave them away.

I put down my book and turned around to face them, pretending to look surprised.

"Guys!" I squealed, running up to them and embracing them all in a hug.

"Hey love" Harry greeted me as I stepped out of the hug and began hugging them all individually, beginning with Harry.

Niall was the last to greet me, and I threw myself forcefully into his arms, tears streaming down my face. He rubbed my back as the other boys watched on, smiling.

"Abbi" He whispered happily into my ear.

"I missed you so much, Niall" I sobbed.

"I missed you too, babe. I'm sorry we were gone so long" He apologised.

I lead him to my bed, sitting down. The other boys soon followed suit, making themselves as comfortable as possible on my small bed.

"So, how'd it go?" I asked no one in particular.

"Oh, Abbi! We won!" Louis screamed, smiling from ear to ear.

"Oh my gosh! I'm so happy for you!" I grinned, and I meant it. I was finally happy for the first time since mine and Liam's split.

"It was so much fun!" Gushed Zayn. "We got to meet all sorts of amazing people, and we made so many new friends! Not to mention how amazing our fans are!"

"That's great, boys! So... What happens next?" I asked reluctantly, afraid that they would say they'd have to move away, or go on tour for months at a time. My fears were confirmed.

"Well, we signed a record deal a few days ago. So, I guess we just get to work on our album, do some promotion. All that stuff. We'll probably be away a lot" Harry told me.

"But we'll still be able to spend heaps of time with you. Between work and stuff" Niall quickly said, seeing the upset look on my face. He must have sensed that I wasn't keen on them going away again, and he squeezed my hand reassuringly. 

"So, how have you been?" Zayn asked me.

"Um... I've been... Pretty good" I struggled. I certainly wasn't going to tell them I'd gotten even more depressed and started cutting again. Too late. 

Niall was standing over by my computer desk, his hands clenched into fists as a mix of anger, hurt, concern and pain showed on his face. Uh oh. I knew that look.

He was holding the razor in his hand, the blade carefully pointing away from himself. I could see the sunlight glinting off of the red liquid, making it sparkle somewhat. I realized that must have been how Niall had found it. Damn sun! Damn crappy hiding place!

"Abbi.... You've... You've been cutting again?" Niall shrieked, struggling to get the words out through clenched teeth. 

"That's none of your business!" I snapped as I stormed over to Niall and snatched the razor angrily away.

"We're just trying to help you" Harry whispered.

"You're right. I'm sorry, Niall. I'm sorry to all of you" I breathed. "Yes, I started cutting again"

"Is it because of Liam?" Louis asked tentatively.

"Yeah" I choked. "Yes. But it's also because you went away. I felt so lonely without you guys. So empty. Like... Like, I don't know. You were over in some flash city, on some flash talent show, having the time of your lives, and I was sitting here, with a pain in my chest, still hurting over Liam, but with no one to help me through. No one to lean on" I realised I was crying as I said this, and looked around the room to see the boys' reactions.

They were all similar: guilt. And sadness.

"We're so sorry, Abbi" Zayn said, rushing over and pulling me against him. "We would never forget about you. How could we? We missed you so much! Shh, it's okay. Shhhh" He soothed.

"Speaking of Liam..." Niall began hesitantly. I pulled away from Zayn to look at Niall's face. He looked reluctant. And... sorry. Sorry that whatever he was going to say about Liam was probably going to trigger a breakdown. Sorry that we had to be discussing such upsetting things.

"Go on"

"He's not handling the break up well. He's been drinking a lot of alcohol lately. Partying a lot and bedding a lot of girls. It's not like him. I'm worried about him. We all are" Niall told me, his eyebrows raising in concern. 

It broke my heart to hear that Liam was like this. To know it was because of me that he was changing himself. But I wasn't exactly sure where Niall was going with this...

"We thought that, maybe, you could talk to him. Maybe he would... I don't know. Start trying to move on and... return back to his normal self if he knew that you forgive him" Lou suggested.

I had to admit, that was a pretty damn good idea! And I was willing to do anything to heal Liam's pain, but...

"I'm not sure. I don't think that would be such a good idea" I muttered, letting out a few shaky breaths.

"Please, Ab. It would help him a lot. It'd help everyone a lot. Maybe it'd even help you a lot!" Zayn told me.

I caved.

"Okay. I'll do it".....

 

 

A/N: Just for your information guys, yes, I know that the boys auditioned as solo artists, not as a band. And yes, I know they didn't win the X-Factor! I just decided that it would fit in better with my story if they auditioned as a group and then went on to win the competition :) XXX

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