Two Loves

Abbi longs to fall in love. She longs to experience all of the feelings that come with being in love. She doesn't expect to be caught in a love triangle. She'll have to face heartbreak, confusion, and sacrifice. Will things turn out for her, or will she give up on the idea of love all together?


11. Chapter 10

Abbi's POV

Niall made his way over to me urgently, stepping around the pool of blood that had stained the perfect wooden floor of my bedroom. He gasped when he saw the blood, a mix of emotions showing in his eyes. Panic. Concern. Hurt. And... anger?

I was confused at that last one, cringing back against my bed as his hands balled up into angry fists, his usual gentle, friendly face turning into a dark and raging mask. I cringed away because I was afraid. I'd never seen Niall like this before. I cringed away because, for a moment, I contemplated whether his anger was directed at me.

But then, the anger faded, just as quickly as it had appeared. His tense hands un-clenched, probably leaving his knuckles sore from the strain, and his facial features turned gentle again, his deep blue eyes losing the devilish red tint, showing again his earlier concern. 

For a moment he stood there, too shocked to move, his eyes darting around the room, wondering if this was some sort of sick dream, and then finally landing on the puddle of dark red liquid. His eyes were wild as they flicked from the reeking blood on the floor to the fresh blood seeping through my shirt sleeve as it oozed from my recent wound.

He suddenly darted over to me, grabbing me and pulling me gently against him with a speed that made me dizzy just by looking at him. In lighter times, I would have jokingly accused him of being a vampire or something, but I figured that it wasn't the right time to start cracking jokes. 

My sudden good humor vanished, and I burst into tears, probably because of the pain, the concern for me that I saw flash in Niall's eyes, before he quickly looked away, not wanting to worry me more. Niall didn't need this. He didn't need to deal with my problems as well as his own. I hated to be a burden to him. I felt horrible; selfish even in my time of need. 

For a while we sat there, in our own crazy world, Niall rocking me back and forth in his arms, whispering comforting things to me under his breath as I sobbed continuously into his broad chest. Then, he must have remembered that I still had blood pouring from a deep cut on my arm, and he suddenly jumped up, his actions urgent once again. 

I assumed he was going to fetch something to clean my wound as his shoes softly padded against the wooden floorboards. He stopped in the doorway though, as if he was afraid to leave me even for a second. I nodded encouragingly, silently telling him that I was capable of waiting in a room by myself for a few minutes. After all, I had been waiting in my room for the past three months, and nothing terrible had happened. Well, until now. 

Niall must have finally decided fetching something to clean my wound was more important than staying with me in the fear that I was incapable of staying here by myself, and he dissapeared into the house. I heard his shoes squeak on the floor, cupboards banging open and closed, and the wind carried his voice back to me. He was humming a cheerful song. I smiled in spite of myself. 

Niall was always so cheery and positive even in the most grim of times, but he could also be composed and serious when he needed to be. That was one of the things I loved about him. Two different personalities that fit the appropriate situation.

He was only gone for a short amount of time before he walked back into my bedroom, with various bandages, towels and creams bundled up in his arms. I wouldn't have thought it possible that he could gather all of that and be back here in such a short time, considering he had never been to this house before, therefore he was unaware of where things were kept, but then again, what did I know? Maybe he was a vampire! 

He pressed an old but hopefully clean towel against my cuts, attempting to stop my blood flow, and I winced at the stinging sensation.

"I'm sorry, baby" He whispered apologetically, brushing my hair away from my sweaty forehead. 

After fifteen minutes and a lot of pressing from Niall and wincing on my part, the blood had finally stopped gushing from my cuts, and the wounds were slowly, slowly starting to close up. 

Niall squeezed some sort of anti-infection cream onto a cotton pad and dabbed  it across my long cuts. I felt tears spring to my eyes as the acidic liquid came in contact with my flesh.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry" Niall whispered, squeezing my hand reassuringly as he wrapped a bandage around my ugly scars.

Niall worked speedily to clean up the blood and dispose of the bloody towels just in case my Mum made an appearance. I didn't think that would be very likely to happen, because she'd stopped coming up to check on me after I'd told her, as politely as I could manage, to stay away. But better to be safe than sorry, I guess.

Niall gripped my hand, tugging me over to my bed and gently pushing me down onto the soft cushions as he layed down beside me. He pulled the blankets up around us, protecting us from the harsh winter weather, and took my cold hand in his warm one, using his thumb to rub soothing little circles into my skin. 

"Abbi, what happened?" He asked cautiously, unsure of how I would react. He was probably expecting me to break down in tears again, and to be honest, I sure felt like it. But I was staying strong. "Why did you cut?"

"Liam" I uttered the word before erupting into tears, my calm and strong facade immediately shattering.

"Oh Abbi, I'm so sorry. I never should have asked" Niall muttered, rubbing my back with his warm hands.

"It's okay" I mumbled through my tears. I figured that, because I was already so torn up, it couldn't get much worse, so I decided I might as well tell Niall the whole story of how I was feeling. He was my best friend; I felt obliged to tell him. That, and there was no way that I could ever keep anything from him. "Oh Nialler, I am such an idiot. I stuffed up. I can't believe I let him go. He did everything for me. He isn't perfect, but who is? He treated me like a princess. He sacrificed everything for me... and I... I threw it all away, all because of one stupid, stupid little thing he kept from me. I threw it all away, Niall! I loved him. I loved him so much. I still love him. I... It.... It hurts so much, Niall. So much" I gasped, the tears streaming down my cheeks like waterfalls, causing my makeup to form black splotches under my eyes. 

He stroked my hair as I rested my head on his chest, strange, unnatural sounds coming from my mouth as I sobbed uncontrollably, my tears staining his T-Shirt. It felt like there was a hole in my chest. I wouldn't be surprised if their actually was. But, on the other hand, I felt a weight lift off my shoulders as I told all this to Niall. I had been holding in all my feelings. Just letting them build up inside me, and it actually felt good to just let it all out. I think it felt even better because it was Niall I was telling this to; he just understood me so well! It didn't lessen the pain any, though. 

"Shh. Shhhh, love. It's not your fault, it's not your fault. I assure you, it's not your fault. Everyone makes mistakes, Ab. I'm sorry. But a relationship goes both ways. Both have to contribute. You had every right to dump him. Just do what you feel is right. I'm sorry. Shh"

And then he kissed me. Again. And I kissed him back. Again. Until I realised what I was doing. Niall was my best friend. I was in love with Liam. We might have broken up, but I was still in love with Liam. Over the last few months, feelings for Niall had made themselves known, but it was Liam. I chose Liam. It had always been Liam.

Niall looked hurt at my rejection, but tried not to show it, obviously not wanting for me to pity him. Too late. I felt horrible.

I began to speak, to apologise to him, but he beat me to it.

"Look, Abbi. I know you don't feel for me whatsoever, and I know you're hurt over the split with Liam, and it kills me to see you in so much pain, but I could make you happy. I know it's early, but I love you. I always have. I want to be with you, Ab" He gushed. 

"See, that's where you're wrong, Niall. I do have feelings for you. But I'm still in love with Liam, too. I'm so confused. I just need time, Niall. Just please, give me some time to make up my mind. And I'm sorry. I'm sorry it has to be like this"

"I guess it's okay if we can just only be friends for now. You mean so much to me, and I don't want to loose you, Abbi. I'm not going to force you into anything, but just know, I would never, ever hurt you. I'll wait for you forever, Abbi" He vowed.

"I know. I love you, Niall" I said in a friendly tone.

He smiled. "I know you do. Now get some sleep, hon. You've lost a lot of blood today" He told me.

He started humming a song while I snuggled into his soft chest, and the tone, the beautiful deepness and smoothness of his voice sounded like a peaceful lullaby, lulling me to sleep.

I was still hurting. I think there would always be a pain in my chest, a longing for Liam. But, with my best friend by my side, I thought that maybe, just maybe, everything was going to be okay. 



A/N:  I just want to let you guys know that I do not support self harm in any way, shape, or form, nor do I encourage it. I believe it is the worst type of abuse out there, and if you are considering harming yourself, think again. Self harm hurts not only yourself, but the people around you. It not only causes physical pain, but mental pain also. If you are thinking of self harming, I encourage you to seek help urgently. There are people in your life who love you and who can help you. The act of self harm was used in this story mainly to get across the point of how serious it is. How devastating it can be and how it affects the people you love. I am always here if you need me, guys. Never be afraid to approach me for help.


-Roch xxx


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