Harry ran and ran until he came to a bridge, the bridge that would change his life...
If we could only turn back time stop the tape and rewind..
then harry joined his brothers



14. Letters


Dear Lads 

Guess what? I got out of my wheel chair today! I finally persuaded the nurse to let me start walking on my own, I am really shaky and cant stand up for long otherwise i get to sore but It is still progress. Since I have no one at home anymore they have decided to keep me in hospital longer because I am so weak someone has to look after me. I wish you were with me guys, I miss you so fucking much, more that anything in the world. Sometimes boys I really, really wish i had of died when I jumped off that stupid bridge but thats only when I am in my darkest place. I still think about you everyday, I think about all the amazing times and laughs we had together, I cry myself to sleep every night boys, does that make me a coward? because I cry? I hope it doesn't because If it does that I am the biggest one there Is, I am suprised I have any tears left. Whats it like up in heaven boys? Is it nice? should I join you? haha right now I am laughing to myself. I love you guys, just thought I should say that incase you didn't know but I am sure you do. Can you see me writing this letter lads? can you see my tears dripping onto the paper making the ink run, can you see my hand shaking boys? Its all for you. I miss you so fucking much, the fans miss you a lot too. We were on the news yesterday! It was about how we had topped the charts and our success and then they showed the wreckage of the car crash and the nurse had to turn it off because I started crying and screaming but I couldn't stop so they had to sedate me, when I woke up that image of your over-turned car still stuck in my mind and I swore I was never going to watch the news again. I am embarrassed that I screamed and cried because I am 19 and 19 year olds don't do that but It was like some part of me shattered, like broken glass slicing up my heart. I really want to scream at you guys sometimes. Do you see what you did to me?! do you watch me cry everyday? You broke me boys but the thing that makes me the saddest is that you left me behind. you broke up the brand and left me behind, left me behind to drown in my tears. Im not as sad as I used to be though boys because I found Charlie, man I wish you could meet her. Now I know that when I brought all those other girls home and I said they were great but Charlie is something special, its like she gets me. Charlie has cancer so in a way I guess she might be just as broken as me inside. Charlie is the most beautiful girl I have ever seen, she has long blonde hair, the cutest facial features and I nice body but the best thing about her is her eyes, oh I wish you could see her eyes. They look just like yours Niall!! the bluest of blue and so innocent and pure! Charlie says that I frown in my sleep, i guess i am unhappy. you lads made me unhappy. Charlie is making me happy all over again, she tells me that I need to be fixed and I guess thats true. I love you guys more than anything in the world, I miss you so, so, so fucking much. I hope you can see me now, looking to the sky and smiling because I love you lads. 

talk more later 


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