Blood Stains and Fingerprints

I've seen him in a fight he lost and it wasn't worth it. But he loved me and didn't give up.

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26. Emotions and desire

I'm so confused. Did I like Harry? no.

Did I like Zayn? No.

Or maybe it was my brain saying what I want to hear. I need to start being honest with myself.

Did I like Harry? No.

Did I like Zayn? Yes.

I dont know what to do. All the boys most likely think I'm a slut and I have no friends, family and no soul. And yet i'm alive. I need to fix that. And no suicide.

Despite the fact that I was visibly concentrated on my fingernails, I was lost in my own thoughts with my eyebrows furrowed and lips pursed inwards.

My mother once told me when I was five that having one friend is better than nothing. I got five + Alaina and I couldnt be happier. I decided to deal with that later as it was quite irrelevant to the surroundings around my and my brain.

Somehow it made me want to bawl and sob in a way that was indescribable. My family was thrown out of my life, my love life was disastrous and nothing was making sense these days.

I just wanna give up on love and start healing the hurt, including myself. But unfortunately the feelings were still there. Chewing the inside of my right cheek, I raced to the front door, hoping for air. I was in my weak and vulnerable state where emotions take over me. Shelly had basically died and everything that was rainbows and unicorns has magically disappeared. I quickly closed the door the moment my vampire senses kicked in. Blood was all I smelt and there was no turning back now. I glanced out the window to see a girl in her late twenties jog by our front lawn.

Desperate and eager for that thirst quenching taste and to drink forever made my insides tingle. I promised the boys but I didnt want to think of them. The girl was my only desire now, and I was going to get it.

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