Beneath the Barricades

fictional diary/story of a girl who is mortified by her own existence.


1. Kelly Ann

September 6th

        Dearest diary,

Today was the most awful and painful day i have ever experienced in all my miserable fifteen years of life.  I happened to get a glimpse of myself in the mirror and if i could, i would of smashed the glass to bits right then and there.  I can't take it anymore - this secretiveness.  I can't go anywhere without feeling the need to hide my face beneath a paper bag.  i am hideous.  i am a monster.  There's no words that can describe this madness that i feel... It's over.  I am over.. But you know what? Even if i were to end it right at this moment, this war with myself would never cease to end.  What has become of me i do not know.  Every inch of my olive skin is covered in wine-stained scars.  Every time i see them, it's like my world has frozen - and it's just me and those lines, those dark, god awful marks.  They're disgusting and shameful, i'm embarrassed by them.  They're embarrassed by me.  If anyone were to see them, anyone who meant something to me, i'd me a reck.. filled with sadness i already am, i would keel over and die from disgust and anguish.  I am nothing.  Purely and simply nothing.  Nothing more than that of one brick out of the billions that make up an apartment complex. I could say that, yet i have less recognition than them.  They're seen everyday.. I am not. I never will be.  And you know what the saddest, most terrifying part of that is?  I am completely and utterly content with it.  I would rather sit home and scar myself, or better yet starve myself - to death.  I have a dream, you see.. And that is to not be me.


                       With great regards,

                    Kelly Ann.



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