A Year Without Johnny

Harry Mitchell is a young boy whos best friend commited suicide. Since the event, even more terrible situations have come to pass and Harry is left making heart wrenching decisions. This is his letter that lets you into his life, his thoughts and feelings, as he lives a year without Johnny.


14. Epilogue: The Unreceived Letter

My dearest Harry,

I have given Lizzie clear instructions to give you this letter on New Year’s Eve. I have no doubt in my mind that she won’t let me down as she realises just how important this is, for all of us.

Firstly, I need you to know that I can tell when you're faking a smile. I know you are struggling to come to terms with your sexuality, but so am I. It is with great regret that I tell you, I couldn’t tell my father I was gay, either. I tried, I swear, but the words couldn’t escape my mouth. Therefore, I understand why you never told yours and I am sorry for trying to force it upon you so much. I kind of wish you would have told me more about how difficult it was for you.

I guess this is my way of telling you that I am here for you if you need me. I won’t ever pass judgement or tell you that what you are saying is wrong, in any way. I have two shoulders and, honestly, I don't need either of them so you can use them both as a place to cry on. I'm sure I can pull the earphones from my ears and stop listening to Ed Sheeran for a while, just to hear you talk to me. Even if you are just letting me know that you are okay. I am here to listen to you anytime, anyplace.

You may not know this, but I understand. In case you haven’t noticed, I have some experience in the matter and will do my best to get my head around anything you tell me. Think of me as a diary of some form. You can tell me all your thoughts and feelings about everything, and I won't talk back or comment on what you say. I will just take in all the information you tell me and then lock it away so nobody else will ever find it. Everybody just needs somebody that they can rely on and talk to. I really just hope you realise that you are not alone, nor will you ever be. You have me, Harry, and I have you.

You may be confused to why I am writing you this and, well, I have realised that I may never pluck up the courage to tell my parents, but I still want to be with you. This is why I have decided that it is time for me to do something about it. If we cannot tell people and we cannot hide it, then we should run away. We should run so far and never return, and we will be together, find a place and settle down. We could even have that family you dreamed of having. I have grown quite found of the idea of adoption.

I hope you still want all of this Harry because I don’t know what I would do without you. So, if you want to come with me, to wherever it is I am heading, then meet me on the roof of the Palace building tonight. We can spend the New Year up there and I can show you how amazing a view it is. You’d love it. Don’t forget to pack a bag. That is, of course, if you are going to show, and if you don’t, then I shall take it that you just can’t do it. I will understand your decision but, if I am being quite frank, I don’t know what I would do.

Just in case you choose not to meet me tonight, thanks for all the great memories and thank you for showing me that there truly is someone out there for anyone. I will always love you, Harry Mitchell. Goodbye.

Your Johnny xx

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