Suicidal Thoughts

"It's not the cowards way out...It's not the cowards way out...It's not...It's not the....It's not the cowards...way out..."
The bottle of pills slipped out my hand, the red and blue capsules scattering of the bathroom tiles. I sunk to the ground, tears falling down my face for what felt like the millionth time. "It's not...the cowards...way out..."
But if it's not the cowards way out, why couldn't I do it?


1. Prolouge



Nobody kills themselves in suicide. It’s someone else inside them.

They don’t pull the trigger.

They don’t tie the loop.

They don’t make the jump.

They don’t swallow the pills.

They don’t write the goodbye letter.

They don’t kill themselves.


I don’t want to do it. I don’t want to kill myself. But it isn’t me, it’s someone else. Like a demon in a cage. Your demon is locked away, tied up, handcuffed.

My demon has found the key, untied the rope, broken the handcuffs. It’s          breaking out into the real world. I can survive if I can lock it up again. But my goal is at the end of a long path, with obstacles and enemies along the way.

Let me show you how I survived. 

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