This Is Why I Hate Uni

My best friend is gone. He has left me to live without him.
“Excuse me miss, this was found. Its for you” I stood in the doorway of his room while they bagged his body downstairs. I could hear the cries of his mum, and sisters. The paramedic handed me the letter.
Ruby Taswatt
It read. I can’t read this. If I read it then that means he is really gone.

1 Year later
He’s annoying, a giant flirt and above all a little smart ass. However I need a place to stay and there is no way I can stay at home, there are to many memories, I’m surprised I made it through the second half of senior year without him. Still haven’t read the letter though. It could be worse, I could have a ditsy blonde bimbo slut as a roommate instead of this ladies man. Well I guess this is how I’ll live while at Universaty. Without my best friend, living with someone who brings home a different girl every second night. Great.


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8. 4am

Ruby's POV

I'm now coming to learn as Harry and I sit on the floor of my bedroom that the best, deepest and most secretive conversations happen at 4am. After he promised not to leave we sort of sat there in silence. I was still crying and it took me about half an hour to stop, after I did neither of us talked. It gave me a chance to really take notice of Harry. His smell was manly and soon becoming my favourite smell. He was just wearing black bum pants and that was it. I sat on his lap, he strong arms wrapped around me as he gently rubbed my arms up and down to sooth me as I told him stories about James. 

"He's the reason I love art as well." I muttered looking at the wall in front of us covered in some of my early work, some were of James others of the the playground we also hung out at. There were paintings, drawings, photos and even doodles on napkins. 

"How come?" Harry mumbled into my hair kissing the top of my head after his question. He'd done a lot of that tonight, kiss me that is, not on the lips no but on my temple, forehead, hands, shoulders, head. I liked it. It made me feel safe and almost wanted. Something I haven't felt in a long time. Sitting here with Harry, his arms around me, sharing stories and memories, it's like all this hatred I had for him is gone, it's like starting a new. I finally feel at home and I like it here. It's somewhere I want to stay biting know Harry would never feel that way. 

"We were ten and he asked me to draw a small dragon for him for his poster and I did. He kept saying how amazing it was and how I should be an artist. He made me realise what talent I had just by making me draw little doodles on his work so it looked good and making me take art in high school" I spoke turning to face Harry. He looked at me for a second then nodded, turning back to the wall in front of us. Almost staring into space. 

I yawned only now realising how tired I really was. 

"You tired love?" He asked me. I mumbled a yes and Harry lifted me up so I was standing. He stood in front of me and smiled, showing those dimples everyone seems to love so much. 

"We should go to bed then yes?" 

"You promised you wouldn't leave though" before I knew it the words left my mouth and I instantly regretted it. 

He probably thinks I have a crush on him now. 

Do you?

I DON'T KNOW BRAIN!!!

"Who said I was leaving?" Y head shot up to see that goofy smile on his face as he waggled his eyebrows at me. I smiled and chuckled at him as e grabbed my hand pulling me towards him. Once I was only centimetres away he placed his other on my hip. 

We lay in bed facing each other. Harry's arm rested over my waist.

"What was it like after um" he whispered quietly. I knew what he was talking about, after James' death. 

"After that, I don't know, I was pretty messed up. Not physically. But mentally, it's like I went down a deep hole for a long time. I just gave up. I couldn't eat, I couldn't sleep more than a few hours a night, an there were times I couldn't stop crying." I paused looking at Harry's reaction. He seemed concerned. Concerned I might go down that road again. But I promised myself I would and I keep my promises. 

"At school it was like I was sad, hurt, angry, mad, disappointed. But you know, I had to put on a smile and move on. I didn't want them knowing how hurt I was." I continued. Harry squeezed my waist gently and I gave him a weak smile. 

"A smile can hide so much pain" he muttered. I nodded. My eyelids started to close slightly and before I knew it I was asleep. 

 

Harry's POV

Her eye lids shut and her breathing became even, she was fast asleep. I didn't know what to do now. Ruby had spilled her heart out about James and Zayn (soda). I felt so close to her but I have the feeling she still sort of hates me. I can sort of see why. When she first moved in I did have this girl Olivia who I was on and off friends with benefits with and I wasn't a nice guy whenever Olivia was around either. But she's gone, moved away I think I don't know, we never kept in touch. 

I've never done this, lay in bed with a girl and talked for hours. I've never felt this way about someone either. I've always had a crush on ruby but seeing her like this, so vulnerable, fragile like glass, it's made me think maybe my feelings are deeper. Deeper than just a crush on my hot roommate. No, it's more falling for the girl who is so content with herself and her surroundings, she's the type of person people want to be but can't. She's perfect. But she's not mine. She'll never feel the same, I'm at home with her, I'm happy with her in my arms. However she'll most likely never be at home with me, feel safe in my arms or happy with being with me and only me. 

 

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