Suicidal thought's :(

It is my diary every word of it and im doing this because I want people to relise what they put me you know oh well lol

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Suicide...

 

I think about it all the fucking time.

It would be so easy just to end all of the pain, suffering, and self hate I feel on a daily basis.

No more depression, no more cutting, just ignorant bliss.

I don't know what will happen, but what I do know is that it will be better than the way I'm living right now.

I can't live with who I am.

I'm living in constant hell, and it's killing me; It's actually slowly driving me insane.

So the real question is: How will I do it?

There are so many options: hanging, suffocation, drowning, slitting my wrists, overdose, jumping, electrocution, and so many more.

I've written so many suicide note's in the past years, and I've never actually gone through it.

Suicide is NOT the coward's way out.

A person has to be going through the worst physical and emotional pain to even think of ending his/hers life.

And I've finally gotten to that point.

No, I am not brave enough to end my life right now.

Maybe I'll build up enough courage to do it some day, but at the moment, I'm hanging on to a small strand of hope that just maybe my life might get better.

But my hope is wearing thin, and soon that strand will break.

Not today, but maybe tomorrow.

Who fucking knows?

Just one day I hope to do what I have planned to do for so many years...

 

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