Give Me Love

Aisling (Ash-ling) Gavette is your typical high school girl. She has gorgeous blonde hair and is one of the most popular girls! She seems like a confident, fearless, and carefree kind of gal. But most people don't know how her life really is. She struggles to keep on that pearly-white fake smile. Everyone belives that she is okay, but there is one guy who sees right through her little act. Right when she is at her lowest point, will he be there for her? Or will she push him away like everyone else... If you want to know more, read it!

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2. Introducing me. Kind of.

     I sat on the bathroom floor, somewhat regretting my previous acts. I looked down and saw the red blood slide down my body. I washed my hands and put the razor back in its place. Then I walked back into the bathroom to clean up the blood.

 

    I think I should properly introduce myself right about now. My name is Aisling (Ash-ling)  Nevaeh Gavette. You could say I am one of the popular kids in my high school. My friends think I'm gorgeous, but I have to disagree. Pretty is a better word. I mean, I'm not ugly, but I'm no supermodel either. My life has gone downhill since last year. My best friend Christofer killed himself. In his suicide letter we found out that he was depressed and was a cutter. It was shocking to know that Chris was like this. He never mentioned a thing about it to anyone. Not even me, and that upset me even more. I told him everything about my life, and I assumed he told me everything as well. I didn't want him to keep secrets from me, nor did he want me to keep serets from him. I just wish I was there to help him.

     To me, Christofer was the happiest 16-year-old alive! He always was the life of the party, and always strived for adventure. We loved going camping together with our families. We lived next door to each other and our parents were very close friends. I can go through my head and think about all of the great memories we've shared. I can remember one time when my older sister, his two brothers, and our parents went fishing together one summer evening. Chris and I wanted to stay back at the campsite together, (we were never very fond of fishing.) I was 13 and he was 14. Finally a teenager. After a while we began to get bored.. we started to talk about things and soon it led to us kissing! It wasn't a peck on the lips either. French kissing. That was when the romance started. We secretly dated for 6 months. It was an amazing half year too! I absolutely loved spending that time with him. But, when we decided to tell our families, my parents were not happy one bit. They liked Chris. Actually, they loved him! They treated him like their own child! But my mom and dad just weren't too fond of me dating yet. So, thats when it ended. Christofer was my first real boyfriend, but I was just happy we still went back to being best friends! We kind of just ignored those kinds of feelings towards each other, even as I was older and was allowed to date.

 

     After Chris commited suicide I began to feel depressed. I slacked off in school. A lot. and I even began to smoke marijuana. I guess I just lost my place, didn't really know what to do since he was gone. But very soon my parents noticed my behavior and made sure I got help. I quit the drugs and did better in school. After some improvements were made they believed that I was back to normal and let me live my life again. I only smoke weed every now and then. It's not a problem like before. I found a new way to try to cope with things. Cutting. I don't know what made me start, but once I began it became my addiction. I love it. And now I can't stop. Even when the thoughts of Christofer leave my head. I am depressed and I can't do anything about it.

 

     I don't know why I am like this. I mean, my life isn't really that rough and complicted. It's all in my head. I am the one that made myself get this way. If you have ever been depressed, I don't know if you would understand or if you wouldn't. You might think I have it too easy, and the circumstances aren't as bad as yours. But you might think that I do have it hard.   Sometimes I believe that my life can be hard sometimes and it can be unbearable. But I made a promise to myself and to Christofer the day he died that I will never commit suicide. Never. But lets just hope that I can keep that promise.

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