The Memoir of Lynn

Lynn is so close to being finished with the dreaded high school that she currently resides in. She just has to make it through the next two years and then she will be off traveling the world and exploring all the tiny crevices of earth outside of her little town in the middle of Virginia. Her thought about this easy concept must have been horribly wrong because nothing seems to be going as she had planned. Her mother is sick. Again. So, she is stuck with that just when she was sure that chapter of her life was over. But then she meets Adam Wilson. This is a story that every teenage girl can relate to, from the love drama to family issues. All and all, relatable.

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2. December 6, 2011; 7:03pm (Start of Junior year)

 

                It was almost Christmas, and as usual, Lynn decided to do all of her present shopping at last minute. The cheesy music, the random splashes of crimson red and forest green, and the happy-go-lucky smiles that were shot her way just made for an awkward atmosphere to be in, but is isn’t as if she could just walk out. She was with her mother. Actually, even though they were there to shop for her friends, they were in the plus sized, women section of the big department store shopping for God knows what.

               “I need a nice shirt for that Jason Alden concert I am going to next weekend. What do you think of this one?” She ask Lynn after what seemed like hours of shopping, when it was really only about ten minutes, and then preceded to hold up a shirt that was covered in sequins and neon colors and honestly reminded her of a four year old, in some way. She held the shirt out for Lynn’s view and gave her that look that said she was in a hurry.

               “Well… honestly that shirt looks kind of childish for you…” Lynn just knew that was the wrong thing to say once she had said it, but it wasn’t as if she could just take it back, right? And the heartbroken look on her mother’s face just made Lynn’s mind go blank.

               “Are you calling me old?” Her mother’s response was to the rudeness of Lynn’s comment.

               “Mom, that came out wrong.”

               “No it didn’t I know what you meant.”

               “What I meant was that it isn’t really you and I think that you can do better, is all.”

               “You only care about yourself! You are so selfish!” Lynn’s eyes gaze across the store and the isles of clothing to look for people that are staring, and it just so happens that pretty much everyone in that section of the store has stopped and are watching their conversation as if it were a television show or something.

               “Mom, stop. You are making a scene.” She holds her hands in front of her mother as if to calm her down in some way, but can see that it is to no avail.

               “I cannot believe that I had a daughter that is so selfish! What makes you think that you are better than anyone? Because you aren’t!”

               “I don’t think that at all, mother! Have you taken your medicine today yet?” Lynn remembers that her mother gets like this at times. Due to the lack of medicine in her mother’s body, she can see that it is affecting her greatly. Instead of answering, her mother then proceeded to just walk away to a different rack of clearance clothing and shuffled through the sweaters and tee shirts as if Lynn weren’t even standing there to begin with. The room was suddenly very hot and a pain was forming in Lynn’s throat that just built up and up until she just could not take standing there anymore and soon Lynn was fast-walking, more like sprinting at full speed but fast none the less, and found herself locking her body in a vacant dressing room. Lynn remembers that no one ever goes in this dressing room. It is the older women section of the store so she knows that they are less likely to want to try on clothes at all.

               Why does this always happen to me?Lynn thinks quietly to herself, midst the lurking silence of the emptiness around her.

               Lynn doesn’t like fighting with her mother. Especially not when her mother is sick and could die at any given moment. Cancer changes a person. Lynn has found that out the hard way. Fifth grade was when this all started. Her mom was diagnosed with breast cancer when Lynn was just a little fifth grader, not a care in the world, and back then she had no idea what was going on with her own body, let alone her mothers. But now? Now, she actually understands the danger of this situation. The cancer is just inside her body basically eating away are her little bit of life and hope left inside. The thing that Lynn doesn’t seem to understand is why? Why her? Why her mom? Lynn would have much rather it been her that got diagnosed with breast cancer than her mother. The one person in this world that cares for her greatly. She is the only one really. None of her friends at school really, truly care. Not even her other family members really care all that much. Not that Lynn can see anyways.

               Lynn realizes that tears streak themselves down her cheeks and as she glances over at the mirror against her right shoulder she can then see that her face is a red as a person who just got shot in the face. She checks her phone to see that it has been an hour since she basically ran away from her mother and her attitude and then begins to walk out the dressing room to find her mother to apologize.

               She finally found her sitting in the car. Just sitting there, staring out the window in front of her as if reflecting upon her life, and single tear slowly inches its way down her right cheek. Lynn honestly did not know if she were even allowed back in the car after her mother’s freak out earlier but slipped on inside anyways. She sat in the back seat. Lynn usually sits in the front seat, always has, but something made her go to the back as if she were being controlled by some outside force. Once inside the vehicle, her mother started driving. The drove home and Lynn just went straight to her room, not even bothering to say a word and lay in bed. She didn’t bother with dinner. What was the point?

               Guess my friends aren’t getting their presents this year, Lynn thought to herself.

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