The Light Behind Your Eyes (A Harry Styles ff)

Is it better to have loved and lost then to not have loved at all?


1. Prologue


“I knew one day something would happen, and I would be forced to face someone extraordinary in a discreet way.” I lick my lips and meet her round, aging brown eyes that don’t scare me, instead they give me the courage to carry on. “That’s the funny thing about people, they come and go, but the ones you interact with, its for reason. Whether they are there to show you the way or to teach you a lesson, some even enlighten you in ways you never would have known. Its easy to get carried away by things that seem so important, but they really aren’t…they’re nonsensical” In that moment, some may have thought I was rambling, but most people ramble when nervous. It’s normal isn’t it? There I sat, nineteen years old and part of the worlds biggest boy band. Living the dream in every way imaginable except one.

Now, I didn’t jump at the opportunity to be interviewed by Oprah. The rest of the boys in the group seemed more comfortable with it then I did. Hell, even Zayn agreed without a shadow of a doubt, well aware that interviews by Oprah were just as gritty and deep as those by that old hag Barbara Walters. And Zayn had been caught in a cheating scandal, there was no question about it, Oprah would ask about everything. Everything. Of course they were paying us a hefty pile to do the interview, but would 100,000 dollars cut it? Of course it would, hell that was a lot of money. But it isn’t about the money at the end of the day, its about keeping your life your own and not wanting to sell it as another story. Whether it be People magazine, Barbara Walters or even Oprah Winfrey…some things seemed too personal to tell. My story had its rights.

Now, before I agreed to the interview, everyone around me supported me. I needed it. At nineteen, I had just had my world turned upside down and shaken like a babies rattle. It sounds cliché, but I had loved and lost, and it happened so quick that when I was left standing alone, I didn’t know what to make of it. Love is universal, so is pain. In some way, shape, or form, we all feel it, it either crashes into us or skims our edges. They are extremist feelings, it either happens or it doesn’t, but you cant deny yourself of it.

“Tell me about the first time you saw Angel Rivera”, Oprah placed her hand over mine, as if to say ‘its ok, you can tell me’. I felt like I could trust her, and I felt like the cameras and the crew weren’t there. It was just me and her, and I knew instantly that she wouldn’t judge me or hold anything against me. So I took a deep breath, and I told her all about Angel Rivera. Trying my best to keep it together, and do Angel Rivera some kind of justice. She deserves it.

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