"Next, please."

This is my entry for the BBC Radio 500 words story competition, and it's one of my random ideas about the afterlife: You die, you end up in front of an angels desk, and he decides whether you've been good or bad and where you should go. You get to heaven by hitching a lift on the back of an angel, or go to hello by bursting into flames. In this short story, a girl dies from doing an illegal act, and is sent to hell. Yeah. It's a happy story.


1. "Next, please."


“Next, please.” A voice droned. It belonged to a middle aged man who had silvery blonde strands of hair, but a bald spot in the middle of his head. He had wrinkles and a dazzling white robe.

Where was I? I suddenly thought. I couldn’t recall anything before the past minute.

“I said, next please!” The voice sounded disgruntled, agitated and I realised he was talking to me. I stepped towards the ebony desk and he stood up.

“Ah, give me a second,” He muttered, acknowledging a teenage boy with a scared complexion, who I hadn’t noticed before.

“I now condemn you to an eternity of Hell, where the Demons shall feast on your rotting, unworthy soul. BEGONE!” With a startled cry, the boy burst into a ball of orange and red flame, then disappeared entirely from view.

“What on Earth did you just do?!” I cried. The man laughed.

“I wouldn’t say ‘what on Earth’, more like ‘what in Purgatory’” He chuckled, still not answering my question. Then his face turned serious and he clasped his hands together on the desktop. “Welcome to the Afterlife. Please state your name.”

The Afterlife? My head spun as I automatically replied- “Jane Phillips.” A giant, leather-bound book landed on the desk, pages open to part of a list. I recognised my name.

“Let’s see… Nineteen, quite good… only two black marks…”

“What?” I asked, confused.

“Look, it depends on how many black marks you’ve had as to where you go now. If you’re good, then the Angels will fly you up to the clouds where you can bathe in the light and stuff. If you’re bad, then you’ll get the same treatment as the last guy... and end up in hell.” He gestured to the small burn marks on the floor. All was silent for a moment, until he spoke again. “Oh, dearie me…” Blood began to appear over my name in the book, spilling over the page and forming eerie words.

“Cause of death: snuck out at night without permission to a party. Too many drinks and a car crash ended you.” He read; eyebrows raised high on his wrinkled forehead. “That’s three black marks now. Didn’t you listen to the Government? Don’t drink and drive!” He sighed, pushing me to the side of the desk.

“I now condemn you to an eternity of Hell…”

Flames began to lick at my feet.

“…where the Demons shall feast on your rotting, unworthy soul…”

They crawled up my legs, spitting embers as he uttered the final word.

“BEGONE!” He screeched.

“Please! No!” I cried desperately, as I was engulfed in a ball of flame. The last thing I heard was a tired voice.

“Next, Please.”

Join MovellasFind out what all the buzz is about. Join now to start sharing your creativity and passion
Loading ...