©Molly Looby No way. I knew I was dying. I knew I was dying fast, but this hit me like a speeding bullet. How long did I have left, years, months, weeks? Days...?

For Ali-Rose life is just a fading moment. Fighting from her inevitable death is the only thing she can do to save her family from the grief that is sure to engulf them. But something on the horizon is about to change her life...

(This is a Twilight fanfic set twelve years after the end of 'Breaking Dawn', but not from Bella's POV, from the POV of Ali-Rose - all will be revealed if you care to read on.)

(Author's Note: Before you read Mattie, please can I just point out that it was written when I was fourteen-fifteen years old, and it was also the first thing I ever wrote and finished, for my own benefit and that of a close friend. I know it has its flaws and I'm okay with that because this story made me grow as an author more than I could've imagined. I truly hope you enjoy it.)



I LET MY SENSES TAKE OVER. MY SENSE OF SMELL WAS still very sensitive. I could smell something, a herbivore. It smelt good, but not what my body wanted to smell. We quickly found a heard of deer. Carlisle killed one swiftly and left it for me. I jumped off Jacob’s back impatiently. My instincts completely took over. I sunk my teeth into the deer’s neck effortlessly. It was as easy as stepping on a bug. The taste, so much better than any human food, was wrong. I knew this was because it wasn’t human blood, but it was warm and tasty. I didn’t complain. I finished the deer off quickly. I felt a lot better, I also felt slightly stronger. I was still thirsty, but only a little bit. It only took two animals and then I was full. I finished off the second deer and jumped to my feet. The thirst had subdued. I barely noticed it was there at all. I felt like myself again. Carlisle appeared at my side.

“I’ve been thinking.” He said voicing his thought. “You’ve always had good intuition. That might be the reason for your gift.”

I thought about that. It sounded about right.

“What do you do now?”

Renesmee and Jacob had left a few minutes ago. It was just me and Carlisle.

“Go home?” I said it like it was a question.

I hoped onto his back and we were running. The emerald forest flickered past. The beauty of the forest never ceased to amaze me. The forest was flowing with life. You didn’t have to go very far until you found a heard of deer. Birds chirped all day, not when we were anywhere near, but they were loud enough to hear from the house. I don’t think a human had ever set foot in our forest. It was dangerous. That’s what everyone at school said. They didn’t know how true that was. It was the most dangerous place they could be. I hoped down from Carlisle’s back.

“Carlisle . . .” I asked. “Can I go to school tomorrow?”

“I thought you didn’t want to go to school.”

“I feel guilty about not saying goodbye.” I admitted sadly. “What if I never see them again?”

“You can go to school Ali-Rose, it’s perfectly safe.”

I nodded and made my way into the house. I sat on the larger sofa and watched Edward and Renesmee. They were playing their game. Renesmee sat opposite Edward on the floor at the foot of the sofa. I had to step around them to sit down. I loved watching them play their game. Renesmee would think of ten images very fast so that they were nearly unreadable. Bella would shield her thoughts for her and Edward had to try and see all of the things she had shown him. Usually he would get most of them, but Renesmee was impossibly fast. Edward gave up with a groan.

“Okay Nessie, you win. What was that last one?”

“An emerald.” She answered simply.

Edward groaned again. “I don’t think I would have got that one.”

“Again?” Renesmee asked giggling.


The game continued. Bella caught my eye, she winked at me. I looked at Edward. He had a very confused expression on his face.

“I only saw nine objects. I didn’t see one of the middle ones at all.”

I started giggling, I couldn’t help myself. Edward looked at me, and then looked at Bella who had positioned herself on the sofa beside me.

“Were you doing that?” he asked her, a smile in his voice.

“Maybe” she said teasing.

Renesmee giggled again. Renesmee was always giggling. The noise sounded so perfect when she did it. It would be wrong if it ever subsided. I continued to watch them. I loved the family atmosphere that was growing in the room. After a while Jacob came and sat beside me. I snuggled close to him and he smiled.

“What did the pack say?” I asked curious.

“They’re very interested. Seth said he knew you could do something interesting.” He snorted.

“How’s Leah? I bet she loves being in charge!”I started giggling.

“Yeah, she really does.” He laughed along with me.

Alice came bouncing into the room with Jasper. They went and sat on the smaller sofa, which was becoming their seat.

“Hi Ali-Rose.” She said cheerfully.

“Ali-Rose,” I repeated. “It sounds weird when I say it.”

Jacob laughed at me. “You’re really lucky. You have a beautiful name.”

“Just like Nessie.” I said nodding.

“Yeah, that was kinda the point. Nessie got her name from Bella’s mom and Edward’s mom, and you got yours from your two ‘aunties’.” Jacob loved to tell this story, I’d lost count of the times that we’d discussed this.

“Ugh! Don’t say that.” Rosalie said, her perfect face crumpling into a frown.

I laughed. “I love how you guys hate to sound old.”

Jacob laughed with me. “Well Carlisle must feel awful then, being your great-grandfather an’ all.”

“Yeah . . . Dad.” I said to him. “That sounds horribly wrong. Why don’t I call you Dad?” I asked.

“Well . . .” Renesmee answered. “At the time I had just stopped calling Bella and Edward ‘Mom and Dad’, so it seemed more natural for you to call us Jake and Nessie.”

“And plus,” Jacob said, laughing again. “If you did that you’d call Edward ‘Grandpa’ or something.”

“That seems really strange.” I said

“Like if we called you Alice-Rosalie.” Edward replied.

“Nessie and I shortened it after a while, because like ‘Renesmee’, it’s a bit of a mouthful.”

“You used to make such a fuss!” Renesmee said, giggling once again. “It was so funny! You used to tell us to call you Alice-Rosalie.”

I remembered. I loved my name. It was unique and special. I hated that it got shortened. Eventually I gave in. I’ve been Ali-Rose ever since. Everyone returned to what they had been doing. Renesmee and Edward continued with their game, Bella watching and helping. Emmett and Jasper had just started telling jokes to each other, some reasonably new, and some outdated and old-fashioned. Rosalie and Alice sat with them, listening. Carlisle and Esme were talking quietly to each other, both sitting on the arm chair. We seemed to be growing accustomed to different chairs. We all appeared to have gained a favourite seat. As I snuggled closer to Jacob I considered how to tell them about my wish. I wanted to tell them, so they knew where my mind was. It took a couple of minutes for me to pluck up the courage to speak my mind.

“Uh . . . guys.” Immediately I had everyone’s full attention. “Can I talk to you again?” They replied by turning themselves to face me fully.

I took a shuddery breath. Jacob squeezed my arm, noticing my worry. Jasper sent a surge of confidence throughout the room. “When I’m ‘sixteen’ or ‘seventeen’, not now, I would like your opinions on me becoming a vampire.” I didn’t let anyone speak. I gave all of the reasons that I had given Edward earlier and delivered my speech with passion. When I had finished the room became silent.

“That sounds like a good idea.” Carlisle said as I turned towards him. Esme just nodded and smiled. Edward did the same. Bella looked me in the eyes and said, “You’re very much like me aren’t you Ali-Rose?” She was smiling, so I counted her as ‘for’ my idea.

 Renesmee looked thoughtful. “I think it’s a very good idea Ali-Rose. I can’t think of anything, apart from your age, that would stop you.” Her smile was the biggest out of everyone’s.

Jacob sighed. “I can’t argue with you Ali-Rose.”

 I smiled at him reassuringly. “You don’t have to worry yet.”

Alice, Jasper and Emmett had also voted ‘for’ my wish, so I had what I wanted, their consent. I wanted Rosalie’s answer the most. She appeared to be having an internal struggle.

“Ali-Rose,” she began. “You know that I would do anything, give up anything, to become human.”

I just nodded at her. The room was still silent, everyone was eager for Rosalie’s opinion.

“If there was a good reason to become a vampire, you’ve found it. If it’s the only thing that’s going to ensure your safety, then it can only be a good thing.”

I jumped off the sofa and flew into Rosalie’s arms. Her answer meant the most to me, and she had just agreed to, what she can only believe, is the worst outcome.

“Thank you.” I whispered softly into her silky hair.

She hugged me close. I was vaguely aware that something seemed to be being discussed. Carlisle looked like he had an idea, and he was sharing it with everyone else.

“Okay, yeah I’ll agree to that, if that’s what she wants. Nessie?” Jacob said replying to a question that I hadn’t heard.

“Yeah, if Ali-Rose wants that -”

“If Ali-Rose wants what?” I swivelled round on Rosalie’s lap so that I was facing the rest of the room.

“Carlisle just had an idea, he wanted our approval.”

“Carlisle, what is it?”

“I was thinking of a way to make you feel like you belong. We can’t seem to convince you that you’re the heart of this family, so . . . how about you change your name?”

“What?” The idea was ludicrous. “Why would I want to do that?”

“Honey,” Renesmee looked at me, her tone made it clear that I had misunderstood. “Your name is your human name, if you like. You use it around humans and you are very similar to them. Carlisle was wondering whether or not you will change your name when you become a vampire, so you feel like a different, a new person.”

“Oh.” I had definitely misunderstood.

“I thought you might want to change your name now Ali-Rose, so that you feel like you fit in, so that effectively, your new life can start, even if you’re not a vampire.” Carlisle smiled at me.

“And you agreed with that!” I asked Jacob in disbelief. “Ten minutes ago you were saying how beautiful and perfect my name was.”

“I know, but if that’s what you want to do . . . I’m not going to stop you.”

I smiled at him, I was already thinking of names.

“I like that idea.”

“So you’re changing your name?” Bella asked.

I nodded.

“It has to be special.” Rosalie said. I realised this must be irritating for her and Alice, they were about to lose their significance, in my name anyway.

“So . . . what’s your new name?” Emmett asked curiously.

“I don’t know yet, it’ll take me a while.”

Renesmee giggled. I spent the rest of the night thinking. I was on the internet for a while looking up name meanings. I wanted a special name that was unpopular and slightly old fashioned. Such a name was hard to come by.

I had decided on my name. It was perfect. I loved it. I had gathered everybody in my bedroom so that I could share my name with them. The internet had been very helpful. The meaning was just right and I thought it was a very special name. Everyone had been very curious about what I was up to while I was on the computer. I had told them not to look, but I caught Emmett and Jacob peeking. Alice had been trying to guess what I would choose. She never got it right. It irritated her. With anyone else, apart from Renesmee and Jacob, she wouldn’t even have had to try. It was nine o’clock. I had just put my pyjamas on and I was snuggling into my quilt.

“So Ali-Rose, are you going to tell us your new name or not?”

I giggled. Jacob was getting impatient.

“Yes. I hope you don’t mind Jake.”

“Why?” He asked warily.

“Because my surname is Cullen.”

“It’s okay.” He sighed. “I knew you’d change it to Cullen.”

I smiled at him. Jacob really understood me. I could do no wrong in his eyes.

“The meaning of my name is almost as important as the name itself.” I explained. “It took me a while to find one that was just right, but I’ve done better than that. I’ve found one that’s perfect.”

“That’s good.” Rosalie said. “Is it unusual?”

“It’s a human name. It’s about as unusual as Ali-Rose. I’ve never met a human, or a vampire for that matter, that’s called this.”

Rosalie nodded her head. Everyone looked incredibly interested. I hadn’t thought of my name since I’d decided it. I was keeping Edward out as best as I could. It was extremely difficult.

“Come on Ali-Rose! The suspension is killing me!” Alice exclaimed. I giggled softly.

“Okay, okay.” I took a deep breath. An aching pain increased at the side of my ribs as I did so. I’d almost forgotten about it, but it was long from disappearing. I was upset by the realisation. It had been nice to forget, even for a few hours.

“Ali-Rose?” I felt someone touch my arm. It was Renesmee, ready to comfort me. It seemed as though I always needed comforting. I realised that this must upset Renesmee, even if she didn’t show it. She hated to see my unhappy.

“My name . . .” I looked at each face before I continued. “Is Matilda Emerald Cullen.” I spoke slowly, pronouncing each syllable perfectly. The room rung with the clarity of my voice, I was sure that everyone could hear the pride behind it.

“Ah.” Edward said, letting out a lungful of air. “I knew it was M. E. Cullen, but I didn’t know what the ‘M’ or the ‘E’ stood for. You did well hiding that.”

I smiled at him. “Matilda means power or might.”

“That does fit perfectly.” Edward said. Everyone nodded in agreement.

“I thought so too.” I couldn’t stop from smiling.

“What about Emerald?” Alice asked.

“Emerald took me a long time to decide on. I couldn’t find anything that was special enough. So . . . I decided to look up your names, I was curious. I started with Esme.” I looked at Esme. She wore an encouraging smile on her face. “And I found out that Esme means Emerald. It couldn’t have been more perfect. Emerald is a precious green stone, so in that sense it’s a special name. I tried it out with Matilda, as fast as I could so that I could keep Edward out, and it fit. I liked how I could keep someone else’s name within mine.”

“Wow, you really thought about this didn’t you?” Jacob asked. He didn’t seem to mind much that I’d changed my name.

“Yeah, I love it, and like Carlisle said, I can start my vampire life right now.” A grin stretched across my face and it was mirrored in the faces of my family.

“Did you know,” I said matter-of-factly. “That Cullen means handsome as a first name.”

“Really?” Carlisle said. “I never knew that.”

“Fits quite well don’t you think.” I said, the smile not yet leaving my face.

Everyone laughed. It was like music, all their perfect voices mixing together in harmony. My own laughter didn’t fit quite so well, but it was part of the symphony. We each took it in turn to say my name, trying it out. It was very rewarding to hear them speak it, it felt real.

“Are we shortening it?” Emmett asked. “Or are you going to be like Edward?”

“Yes, we’re shortening it.”

“To what?”


“Mattie.” He repeated. “I like it. It’s different.”

I giggled. “It sounds different with your accent.” Everyone took it in turn to say my name again.

“Mattie.” I repeated in my home accent. “The T’s sound like D’s.” I giggled. “Mattie.” I said again, this time in my expert English accent. Everyone copied me. Renesmee laughed. My English accent was exceptionally good. But then again it should be – I was with English humans almost every day. My natural accent is American, I use it at home, but not when I said my name. It made no sense why that happened. It was just the way the word formed. We continued messing around until I drifted quietly into a long sleep.

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