Open me

“STOP F**KING TOUCHING ME!” I shouted, pushing him away from me.
Suddenly, one of the boys pulled out a knife and came towards me with no remorse in his eyes.
"Gosh no," I thought. "No, please don't," I begged them, fearful for my life.

If I die would anybody care?
Would people cry for me, would you cry?

I cry a lot, and I don't sleep.
My life is just one big bad nightmare I can't wake up from.
I'm just like a dull bookcover that everybody judges but nobody takes their time to open it up and read.
I got so many painful stories to share but I wont speak unless somebody took their time to open me.

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1. Chapter One

Chapter 1

‘’ That’s that aaliyah girl’’ I heard one of the sisters I recognised from school whispering in the corner of the room.

‘’ OH, wow! What is she doing here’’ I heard the other one of the sisters I also recognised from school replying.

‘’Omg, is she being serious, why is she wearing a hijab?’’

I felt like the whispers about me continued to dance around the room as I walked passed to look for a space to sit down. I glanced at the sisters who was whispering in the corner for a quick second and then turned my head.

I did not come here to socialize, I did not come here to make myself look like I’m all saint and I surely did not come here to listen to gossip, I thought to myself. I came here to pray, repent and ask for guidance.

Is it because they know my name that they think that they know me? I continued to question myself in my thoughts. Welcome to the era 2000’s where people smile up in your face and embrace your hands like they are your friends. But the minute your absent from them; the same mouths they used to smile at you, begins to curse you and spit at you from behind as if you transformed into their enemies. These types of people are what I call whited sepulchres, I just don’t understand them.

They know my name but, not my story and nor do they have the slightest idea of what I went through. But, yet they have the audacity to talk bitter about me, arbitrating me without even asking me who I actually am. Or at least ask how my day is going. I shall not let this get to me as they are surely being prejudice, judging me by my past they’ve heard from others. It’s like judging its book by its cover and not opening it up to read the story.

A young sister approaches me and greets me.

‘’ You okay sister’’ she smiles.

I shrug my shoulders and smile.

‘’ Come sister come pray beside me’’

I follow her.                  

We sit down near the front with three other girls.

‘’ What’s your name, sister?

‘’Aaliyah, you?’’

‘’ Mashallah what a beautiful name, my name is Fatima. Are you new here?’’

‘’ Yes and I feel uncomfortable’’

‘’ Why, what’s wrong?’’

‘’ I feel like everyone is watching me and judging me’’

‘’ Why do you say that, I don’t see nobody looking at you’’

‘’ When I came in the girls at the corner started whispering about me and they were looking at me’’

 ‘’ Nowadays we have evil spreading in people’s minds that they are quick to judge other people. Not only that, but they also like to spread rumours and I noticed that if one wants to change they continue to backbite or bring up incidents from the past. As a result this destroys motivation for the individual who wants to change. I don’t associate myself with these types of people. Surely, they must understand that Islam does not accept this! Anyways come let’s pray’’

We all positioned ourselves for prayer, the imam started to amazingly recite the surah’s from the Quran. I closed my eyes to allow myself to concentrate on the words being recited. The recited words began to flow into my ears into my head, visions of my past started appearing into my head. My brain began sinking into deeper thoughts then; my mind gradually started drifting back into my childhood memories. And then here I was memorising everything I was trying to disremember and erase. My past!

 

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