Homeless.

The moment his emerald green eyes captured mine I couldn’t believe that I was staring at such beauty. The way the warm England breeze blew threw his wild curls instantly made him look like a model. But, I could only imagine what he thought of me. A girl with dirt stains on her pants and shirt, uncombed hair, and holey shoes. I was just the homeless girl.

His world was obviously so different than mine.

Just for a second I swore I could have seen deep dimples on the side of his cheeks as a small smile appeared on his face. “Uh did you not hear me? Get out of here!” the security guard asked. I regrettably tore my eyes away from the boy and nodded “Okay. Sorry again” I whispered.

“Mina…is dat boy got lotsa money?” she asked.

I chuckled and whispered “Yea. I think so” I said and continued down the long path exiting the wealthy neighborhood. “Mina and Izzy don’t got money wite?” she said.

She was right...we had nothing. We were homeless.

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17. Girlfriend?

I was frozen in my place….he just told me he was IN love with me! 

I mean it was obvious that I was in love with him too, but a part of me what scared to let the words escape my mouth. I had a terrible feeling that if I opened my heart to him that’s when everything would go wrong. I noticed everyone now had their eyes on us and now I was feeling insanely uncomfortable, like I was on the spot.

I guess my silence lasted longer than I thought but I was brought back to reality when I felt Harry’s arms around me slide away. I blinked and focused on Harry noticing the frown on his lips, the way he began to blink his eyes rapidly as they glistened, and him run his fingers through his hair. 

“I-i-it’s okay that you don’t feel the same way… I just, ya know what it was stupid of me to say that” he rushed before turning away and bolting down the stairs.

He didn’t even give me a chance to talk! Okay maybe he did and I was too zoned out in my thoughts to respond but I just needed to think first. “Harry!” I called after him mentally cursing all the damn stairs but instantly freaked out when I saw Harry curled up on the side of the stairwell breathing heavily and freaking out. 

“Harry!? Harry what’s wrong!” I said rushing to his side and pushing his hair away from his forehead. He was trying to speak but words just weren’t coming out and it was like he wasn’t breathing. “Guys! Help!!” I screamed loudly hearing my voice echo through the place. 

After a few seconds I realized what was happening because I had experienced it too. 

He was having a panic attack, what caused it I have no idea, but right now I just need to help him. I pulled him into my arms trying to get him to breathe and calm down. His eyes were so wide with fear and he was clinging to me for dear life. 

I was soon surrounded by everyone all asking what happened. “I don’t know! I just found him right here and he’s having a panic attack! What did you guys do to help him before, I remember you said he’d had them before performances” I said quickly placing my hand on his cheek and one on his chest to feel his heart beating insanely fast.

“Yea but this is different. You don’t understand Mina, The last time Harry said those words to a girl she kind of did the same thing you just did” Louis admitted to me. What? It’s not like I had rejected him or something! But, I guess that is what it seemed like. I leaned down so that my lips were close to Harry’s ear and I whispered the 3 words that I knew would change everything, and even though bad things my happen later that didn’t matter right now. 

“I love you” I whispered to him. I noticed that the beating under my hand began to slow down and Harry’s breath began to slow out. “I love you so much Harry” I whispered again. I smiled when I felt his grip on me loosen and his deep breaths puffing out of his mouth. 

I pulled away to find his eyes searching for mine and once they found each other those cute dimples that I loved appeared softly. “What did you say to him?!” Liam said in a relief. I smiled and shrugged my shoulders enjoying the fact that they didn’t hear what I said. 

I wanted that phrase to be for Harry’s ears only and no one else’s. At that moment I realized how much Harry and I relied on each other, we were so dependent on each other and I didn’t know if that was a good thing or a bad thing. “Harry are you okay?” I asked him. “You said it back” he said. 

“I did, and don’t you ever do that to me again! You scared me!” I said playfully pulling one of his curls. All the guys looked like a deer in headlights because they were either insanely confused or shocked. 

Louis was the one who spoke up first “Well would you look at that, Although I am very protective over my hazzabear it seems that you are good for him. But if you hurt him I will not hesitate on ripping those pretty little vocal chords out” he said. 

I could tell he was being completely serious but playful at the same time. “Me hurting him!? Yea right” I said rolling my eyes. “And Harry don’t take advantage of her you know all she’s been through” Zayn said looking between us both. I cannot believe they are giving us a lecture right now! I heard Harry scoff loudly “I can’t believe you just said that Zayn. You think I’m going to take advantage of her?” Harry said raising his voice with anger.

“I think Zayn’s just trying to say the last few girls you were with weren’t nearly as fragile as Mina is” Niall piped. “Those girls didn’t mean anything to me! I seriously can’t believe you guys don’t think that I will hurt her! It’s bullshit and I’m not going to let you guys ruin or moment” He said grabbing my hand and leading me down the steps with him away from the boys. This was something new to me, I hadn’t been with Harry when he was mad and I didn’t know if talking was going to help or just letting him have some space.

Harry led me back to the Ferry and I felt bad leaving the rest of the boys but now I had some unanswered questions from all I learned today. First, what happened to the girl he had said I love you to before? And second, who were these other girls Zayn mentioned. The ferry took off and I could feel the fumes coming from Harry’s body as I hugged him tightly.

“Babe…what were they talking about?” I asked letting my curiosity take over me.

“I don’t want to talk about it” he said harshly causing me to flinch away. “Harry I know you’re mad but not speaking to me is not going to do anything. You know I just want to help” I said calmly. It was a good thing the boys’ stylist had taken Mina out because she did not need to be around all of this right now.

I watched as he paced back and forth in anger. “Either you are pissed because they are right, or your pissed because they are absolutely wrong…which one is it Styles?” I said with a laugh as he turned to me and groaned. 

“How can you read me so well?” he pouted. I shrugged my shoulders and pulled him to me. “Come on talk to me babe, I won’t judge” I said honestly. He sighed heavily and led me over to the front of the ferry so the breeze was flowing through my hair as he placed his hands over my tummy. “I’m pissed because…they are kind of right” he admitted.

I laughed “Ahhh there we go” I said looking over my shoulder at his frowned face. “Why are they right?” I asked. “Because before you, I didn’t think love was for me. The last time…it just didn’t work out. And so I turned to just uhhh…” he trailed off as if trying to avoid what he was going to say but I already knew just because of all the experience in the sex department that I knew he had. 

“Sleeping around with girls?” I suggested not really knowing how I was feeling about his past relationships. 

“You must hate me, I’m not the same person now though” he began in a panicked tone. 

“Harry I don’t hate you! Stop assuming stuff, I just told you a few minutes ago that I was in love with you. Just because you’re telling me you’ve slept with other girls isn’t going to change my love for you. Who cares? You didn’t hate me when I told you I’d been raped and abused my whole life so why would I hate you?” I said seriously turning around to face him.

I watched as what I said registered in his brain and it was almost as if he forgot about my past. “So you’re not mad?” he asked softly looking down at his feet. “Of Course not! Harry you’re a hormonal teenage boy, not to mention your gorgeous so it would kind of be not normal if you didn’t sleep around” I laughed at him. He looked at me in awe and then looked up at the sky.

“God, I don’t know what I did to deserve this amazing girl in front of me…but THANK YOU!!!” he screamed at the top of his lungs. I watched as people on nearby boats turned their heads in our directions. “I’m not ama-“ I began but Harry captured my lips with his to shut me up and I didn’t protest, I loved when Harry kissed me. 

He pulled away softly and pushed my hair over one of my shoulders and continued to kiss all the way up to the corner of my lips but paused as he looked at me. “You are amazing, Mina. You understand me, you don’t judge me, it’s just I really don’t deserve you” he said seriously. I stole the kiss he had been holding back from me then laughed “Oh stop!” I said with a giggle. 

Harry and I were so wrapped up in our little world that we hadn’t noticed we had reached the dock. Harry led me away from the dock, thanking the driver and then pulled out his phone. “You really shouldn’t have gotten mad at the boys, they were just looking out for me and you” I said playing with his fingers that were laced with mine.

He was silent for a moment and then said “Yea your right, Ill talk to them later tonight” he answered before dialing some number. He spoke into the phone about getting a car and doing some other things that I couldn’t hear and then hung up. “What are we going to do now? It’s almost dark” I said glancing up at the darkening sky. 

“It’s a surprise” he smiled kissing my cheek. We continued talking and enjoying each others’ company until a car pulled up in front of us. Harry opened the door for me and then jumped in behind me. Then he quickly whispered something to the driver and we were on our way. “It’s so amazing here! There is so much going on! Look at all the people” I said watching all of the people scurrying around.

“Are the windows tinted? Can they see us?” I asked curiously because seeing what happened a couple days ago I would think Harry would have been spotted by now. “Yea don’t worry their tinted. Nothing’s going to happen to you” he said seriously. 

I loved how protective Harry was of me, it made me feel safe. 

We were silent for a few moments until a question popped into my head. “Harry? When did you lose your virginity?” he seemed so taken aback by my question and even coughed in awkwardness as we stared at each other. “You really want to know?” he asked. “Yea why not?” I asked trying to hide my smile because of how uncomfortable he was.

“I was uh…15” he said slowly as if trying to decipher my thoughts. Hmm I hummed in thought thinking about how smooth Harry must have been at the age of 15. But then that thought was clouded out by an image from my past, when I had lost my virginity. “I guess you win” I said softly avoiding his eyes and watching the bright lights of New York flash by.

“Win what?” he asked curiously. “I lost mine at the age of 8” I said so quietly that I almost couldn’t hear myself. “WHAT!?” Harry screamed almost causing the driver to swerve off the road from his loud outburst. 

“Mina, please tell me he’s in jail” he said lowly. I shrugged my shoulders because I honestly didn’t know. “I never saw him again after I ran away so I don’t know where he is. But, a part of me thinks that he will find me one day and all of this” I said gesturing around “will be taken away” I admitted feeling my eyes begin to water.

Harry pulled me onto his lap, hugging me so tightly and kissing my hair to soothe me “He’s not going to take you away from me. No one is going to take you away. Your mine” he said gently. 

“Gosh, why can’t all of these memories just go away! It’s like I can never run away from them no matter how great my life is at the moment” I huffed pulling back to look at Harry who eyebrows were furrowed in frustration and sadness. “We are here sir. But, someone must have seen you get in the car because there is paparazzi surrounding the place” the driver said maneuvering the car. “Shit” Harry cursed under his breath and looked out to see people suspiciously eyeing the car. 

“I know that those memories will be there forever and there’s no point of pushing them away. There are part of you ya know? But we can make new memories to help you forget about the old ones” he said with a smile. 

I thought about what he said and then nodded, he was right. “Go around the back please, they already know we are coming so security should be back there and block out the papz” Harry said to the driver who nodded and followed his instruction. As the car sped up I guess people began to follow and snap their cameras. “Doesn’t this get annoying?” I asked. “Definitely, especially when I just want to spend some alone time with my girlfriend” he said with a smirk as he looked at me with those dazzling emerald green eyes.

“You have a girlfriend! Harry am I the other woman?!” I said dramatically only to watch him roll his eyes and pull me closer so our lips were almost touching. 

“Nope, you’re my girlfriend” he whispered as I ran my fingers through his hair. “Oh really? Do I have a say in this at all” I said with a smile trying to give him a hard time. “Nope. Your mine, and I love you” he smiled widely. 

I brushed our noses together and smiled back “I love you too” I whispered against his lips leaning in to close the distance between us. I smiled as his arms slithered around my waist pulling me closer to him. I enjoyed the way he gently sucked on my bottom lip. My hands always seemed to find their way into Harrys’ soft curly hair and as the kiss deepened my hands subconsciously pulled lightly on the strands causing a vibration to pulse against my lips. The deep moan that emitted for Harry chest was probably the sexiest thing I had ever heard in my whole life and I knew I wanted to hear it more. I wasn’t shocked or surprised when I felt Harry’s familiar tongue slip in between my lips. 

“Umm sorry for interrupting but we are at the back entrance and you guys are clear from paparazzi” driver said causing Harry and I to jump apart. 

My cheeks filled with heat as Harry laughed at my face and pulled me out of the car. The second my feet landed on the ground Harry’s massive hands covered my eyes. 

“Hey! I can’t see” I pouted. “I told you it was a surprise you can’t see yet. Just trust me” he said. I nodded my head and followed the direction that he was leading me and then I heard the ding of an elevator. I heard the beep of a button and then the elevator began moving. 

I expected to get off after a few seconds but those seconds turned into minutes. “Harry? Weve been on this elevator for a while” I said becoming nervous. “Don’t worry we are almost there” he said and then I heard the ding of the elevator again. 

He led me out and everything was completely silent, I couldn’t even begin to guess where we were at the moment. 

“I should have probably asked you before but are you afraid of heights?” he asked as he uncovered my eyes. As I took in the scene around me I had to cover my mouth to stop from squealing. We were standing in front of a whole wall of glass windows and we were literally overlooking the tops of buildings in New York. 

“Oh my god” I said as my eyes travelled over to the small dinner table that was set and decorated with an arrangement of candles and flowers. “I don’t even know what to say” I said honestly in complete awe at the scene around me. We were suspended high up in the sky with stars glistening around us. “Do you like it?” he asked. “Do I like it? I fucking love it Harry!” I said jumping on him and wrapping him in a hug. “This is so amazing!” I said. 

“You did this all for me?” I asked pulling away and walking over to the table to watch a man soon appear holding two glasses of water. Harry pulled my seat out for me and then rushed around the side of the table to sit down. 

“Yup. The girl I love only gets the best” he said with a wink causing me to giggle. The rest of dinner Harry explained to me how we were at the empire state building which was 102 stories high! We had the best dinner ever and it was fantastic because it was just the two of us. It may seem weird but the best part about Harry and I’s relationship was the fact that we were best friends first, it just happen to work out that we fell for each other. 

He was always there for me and I was there for him. I’d never had someone in my life I could trust and let in but Harry knocked all of the walls I had built up down. I didn’t know how long our relationship would last or what the future held from this point on but I knew that Harry was completely right. It was time for me to start filling my life with beautiful great memories instead of looking back on the bad ones. 

It was time to start living.

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