Writing To Abigail


Abigail was my best friend.
She disappeared one day and never came back.
Well that's what they want me to think.
But I know what happened.
You gave me the note, and promised to meet me again in heaven some day.
I write letters to Abigail every day, hoping maybe she'd read them, maybe she could help.
Sometimes I can feel her, but she's not here.
Abby, please save me?


9. July 4

July 4,


Of course my family is one of the lame-o's who still celebrate The 4th of July. Like who the fuck cares? We're celebrating something that happened over 100 years ago. I sure as hell don't care. And it's even more fun because there is food galore. I swear we have more food during stupid USA holidays more than like Christmas and Thanksgiving. 

My Aunt Greda offered me a cookie, holding out a tray full of like fifty. 

My grandmother insisted I tried some of her brat, because "it is made so well, I've never had a bratwurst as good as this one."

My mom put more potatoes and beans on my plate.

My dad was too busy getting wasted.

Well what did I do? I ATE! I KNOW I'M GOING TO HELL. I'M GOING AGAINST YOU ABBY! I'M SO SORRY, I HAD TO. I was trying to throw it all up but I couldn't, it all got stuck in my throat. I tried for 35 minutes for it to come up. And it wouldn't! My heart was beating so fast. My eyes were watering. I was dizzy. I looked like I just smoked weed. Nobody saw me, thankfully. I hid in my baby cousin's room for an hour, hoping the "just tried to puke my guts out" look would ware off. And it did! 

Abby, I'm so sorry. You're probably so ashamed of me.. But I just had to... And my body was turning against me.. It's not my fault. It isn't right?

I'm sorry, Tori

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