Writing To Abigail


Abigail was my best friend.
She disappeared one day and never came back.
Well that's what they want me to think.
But I know what happened.
You gave me the note, and promised to meet me again in heaven some day.
I write letters to Abigail every day, hoping maybe she'd read them, maybe she could help.
Sometimes I can feel her, but she's not here.
Abby, please save me?


16. July 19

July 19,


Now I remember why I deleted my Facebook account in the first place. Ya know, Facebook used to be a happy place where friends would just hang out and post silly pictures and inside jokes, in like fifth grade. But now everything's changed. No one can say anything nice or "civilized" should I say.

I swear all I see my classmates post is pictures of them hammered or statuses about how they're going to so and so's party and smoke a few bowls. There's also a shit ton of hatred. Bashing on people's new default's saying how they're ugly or they look bad in that dress. Statuses threatening to beat people up in the courtyard after school. Statuses about how ratchet your boyfriend's ex is. And everyone calling each other fags. This doesn't seem right. And who knows what people get messaged to them.

So I log on to reactivate my account, because you know technically your account never gets deleted, all you have to do is log in. Which annoys me.

All I did was scroll through my news feed, most of what I saw was what pages I have liked posted. I was literally on for not even fifteen minutes and some bitch messages me.


"What's up?"

"Nothing, you?"

"Fat ass."
"You're a worthless piece of shit. You have no friends. Why don't you just go cut yourself?"


I didn't respond after that, but I got 7 more notifications sent to my phone.

I won't look at them.


I want to.

But it's just going to make things worse.

Unless she was apologizing.

Maybe I'll look in a few days when I feel better. I can't cut myself tonight because my parents are staying in and my aunt is coming over. I know they won't be caring what I'd be doing, but just in case if they were to walk in. And I can't have another scene of unconsciousness if I could possibly get caught.

Did you get harassed like this on Facebook, Abby?
If you didn't when you were still here, you do now.

I occasionally look at your wall, even when my account was deactivated. 

A lot of people post on your wall. I guess the only people you had added were kids from school, because no one fights back when people talk shit.

Yeah, people talk shit about you, even though you're dead.

On your fucking Facebook wall.

Honestly, I think it's immature.

Starting rumors like:
"She starved for so long she broke in half."
"James abused her for being so fucked in the head so she killed herself."
"I wonder if she still cuts herself in Hell."
"She did the world good from doing that."

I read them quite a lot.

I'm sorry they're so mean.

But you don't care.

Bye, Tori

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