Chasing Love

I didn't want this life for me. I hated it. All I ever wanted was a new beginning. And maybe that's what I'll get.

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1. Auden



"One ticket to London please," I asked the station worker. The kind man nodded his head and started working with a smile. I fiddled around my crowded pillow case with my cold hands. I searched passed declined credit cards, crumpled pieces of paper, and a half eaten granola bar as I finally grasped my empty wallet and pulled it out.

"Sir? How much money did you say this was?" I nervously questioned.

"That'll be seventeen dollars and thirty six cents."

I opened it up and found three bucks and a piece of chewed gum folded neatly in its wrapper.

"Shit," I silently mumbled.

I looked at my surroundings, hoping for a way out. There was nothing. It was an empty train station, with barely one train and a deserted concession stand. The old man started to grow impatient as I stood there with nothing to offer.

"Um...I'm sorry I don-"

"Seven tickets to London please!"

Suddenly, a native Irish woman rushed up to where I was standing. She hurriedly pushed along her six kids. Twins in a stroller, a crying baby swaddled in her arms, and three toddlers pushing and shoving each other a few steps behind.

This is it. This is my way out.
But I can't steal from this poor woman. She has enough on her hands already. And I haven't stolen in so long. Do I really want to start again? I have to. I can't stay here forever. I have to find it. I'm gonna find it.

My crystal blue eyes watched closely as the woman's hands maneuvered through her bag filled with money. She paid the man as he gave her seven perfectly straightened tickets. The woman then handed one of her toddlers the tickets.

"Now don't you lose these. I have to feed your sister. Hold them tight." She said sternly.

I felt hope rush through my veins.

The woman walked over to a nearby bench, holding the baby in one arm and a bottle in the other. When she finally got settled and her attention faced towards her newborn, the toddlers began to fight again. Punching, kicking, and biting were emitted from the small children.

"Emma stop it!" The little boy screamed at his sister.

He then slapped her straight across her face, making one shiny ticket fall from her dainty little hand.

I didn't feel my actions. My mind completely shut down like...it was being taken over. I didn't even feel myself snatch the ticket off the ground. I didn't hear the screams aimed towards me from the mother and station worker. My pulse grew fast as I sprinted alongside the huge train. I aimlessly searched for the double-doors, hoping for a way in. Just as I was about to give up, those glorious doors opened wide in front of me. I put one foot inside the train and stopped. I looked at the chaos occurring behind me, feeling a little remorse for a second, but I continued on and stepped fully inside as the doors slowly closed shut, those sad faces etched into my brain.

The little boy reached for the door handle, but the train was already on its way off.

My black combat boots clacked loudly against the hard floor as I walked down empty row after empty row of seats. I settled on the window seat all the way to the back. I smoothed down my un-brushed brown hair and pulled up my ripped skinny jeans. I let go of the pillow case that my fingers were clasped to for so long and opened it up. I took out a small, fluffy blanket and snuggled up in the seat. My fingers placed my headphones on my ears, as my mind got lost in the music.

I didn't want this life for me. I hated it. All I ever wanted was a new beginning. And maybe that's what I'll get.

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