Louis Tomlinson Can't Love Me...

Claire was a normal teenage girl. Fussed over acne. Fussed over clothes. Fussed over boybands. But when her father passes, she becomes bitter. Hateful. Like she is mad at the world. Her mother buys her tickets to a One Direction concert in a desperate attempt to bring her back. WIll meeting the boy of her dreams fix her?

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7. Already Gone

"And then you will all give 3-5 mineute speeches. And keep them at that length. I'm sure you don't all want to stay there till midnight hearing speeches."

I crack a smile as Ms. Empthen, our homeroom teacher, while explaining how our graduation will go, attempts to make a joke. It's 7th period on a Friday afternoon. School is almost over.

Tanya, a pretty African girl, raises her hand. "Do we have to give a speech, cause, like, yeah."

We all laughed, because Tanya is known to be a total klutz. She probably wouldn't make it onstage without tripping. 

The teacher laughed. "No, Tanya, only the A-average students do. But I happen to know that you are one, so sorry."

Tanya grinned.

As Ms.Empthen goes on to describe our caps and gowns, which are a pretty maroon color with a silver tassle on the caps, I play with my pencil and doodle. I write out Drew, over and over again. The spring dance was one of the worst nights of my life, and I close my eyes and relive it.

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"Okay, Mom, I'm 17. I can keep myself safe at the dance." Despite the fact I am shaking my head, I'm glad I have such a caring mother.

"No roaming hands; no kisses below the chin," She warns, but I know she knows I will take care of myself.

Getting up from the kitchen table and running up the stairs to do a last outfit check, I feel exhilerated. Excited. Ready.

I bang my bedroom door open, and saunter over to the full-length mirror, making sure I don't have a too-excited face. What I see makes me grin, losing my face of cool.

My pale pink dress stops just atop my knees, the lace trim looking pretty but not too girly. The top has a curved neck, with no sleeves, and a white sash makes it look just the right amount of cute. My white high heels have tiny silver gems, perfectly complimenting my diamond earrings and matching necklace.

My hair is glossy and waved slightly at the ends, and my makeup is done daintly.

"Ready." I whisper, then dash down the stairs, almost tripping a few times.

"Byemomloveyou." I shout as I run out of the house. It was the exact exchange that happened the day of the concert, and I smile at the memory, but it soon evaporates into a frown.

I look around the streets. The sun is just setting, so the sky is a beautiful shade of orange. No one is walking to the dance on these particular streers, so I continue with what I was about to say as I make my way to the school.

"Nope. You are not. No. You are not thinking of him when you're about to have a great time with Drew. You do, and I will never forgive you." The pep talk was crazy enough to work, so as I enter the doors to the school buzzing with people outside and screaming with people inside, nothing but a grin is on my face.

I enter the gym, which is heavily made up. The lights are dimmed to alomst no light, but colorful stage lights make this place seem magical. There's a DJ, as stupid as that is at our age, but he hauled over some great tunes. I hum to Stronger(What Doesn't Kill You) by Kelly Clarkson as I look for Drew and Hannah, who came with a guy named Rodney.

You heard that I was starting over with someone new,

Heard that I was moving on, was, over you(Over you)

When I find Hannah, her back is to me and I grab her arm, making her jump and scream. Her blue dress matches her eyes, and she looks great.

When she sees me, she sighs and runs a hand through her hair. "God, Claire, you wanna kill me?"

I shake my head. "Hannah, this dance is full of people. About fifty people elbowed or bumped into me just as I was entering!" I don't care that I am exaggerating.

She shakes her head vigiorusly. "No, Claire, it's Rodney! He's a total octapus, grabbing everywere!"

I laugh. "Wow, but didn't I tell you not to be quick with who you chose to ask?"

Hannah waves her hand. "Whatever. Its just that I ran away, and I keep worrying he'll find me!"

"What's up?" Drew walks up and stands next to me. Behind us, so Hannah can't see, he takes hold of my hand. I smile slightly.

"Nothing, Hannah is just telling us her country horror story." She sticks out her tounge, and I stick mine out right back.

Drew wrinkles his nose. "Rodney? I told you, the guys a rat."

I shrug. "I told her too."

Hannah starts dancing around. "Come on guys, instead of beating me up verbally, lets have some fun!"

And we do. We dance do pop songs, and dance remakes for about an hour. Hannah finds another guy named Josh, a real saint. Well, maybe not saint. But he keeps his hands to himself.

I have a great time with Drew. He's amazing. Funny and cute. Unlike all the guys I hate at school, he's not dirty.

Then my time comes. The DJ announces that he is about to put on a slow song, and I look at Drew. I put my arm around his neck, and he puts his on my waist.

"Forgot to tell you," He smiles at me kindly. "You look beautiful tonight." 

I smile and blush, and when the song starts, I smile and say, "I love this song." 

 Remember all the things we wanted,

now all our memoried are haunted,

We were always meant to say goodbye,

Drew grins. "Doesn't sound that much like a love song..."

I smile."Yeah, it does, just not a happy one."

Even with our fists held high
It never would have work out right, yeah
We were never meant for do or die

 

Then, as I'm dancing, I hear whipsers and giggles, a couple screams. I dismiss them, because at the verse, Drew leans in to kiss me. And I lean to him. We have connected for about 1O seconds when I hear him. Him. I thought he would just leave me alone. But he's here.

"Cle-h?"

I didn't want us to burn out, I
Didn't come here to hurt you now I can't stop


I jump and break away from the kiss. I realize the reasons there were screams and giggles was because Louis Tomlinson, famous singer, is standing in a public nobody-school dance. With a hurt look on his face. Saying my name.

I take a few steps. "What are you doing  here?"

Drew looks from me to him. "Huh?"

I want you to know
That it doesn't matter

Louis looks at me. "How could you?"

And it's just too much for me. I run out of the dance and into the nearst bathroom. I hear the music as I run out and into the bathroom, it's so loud.

Where we take this road
Someone's gotta go

I close the bathroom door. I thank God it is a single bathroom, so I can sit here and cry in peace.

And I want you to know
You couldn't have loved me better
But I want you to move on
So I'm already gone

I cry for Drew, I cry for Hannah, I cry for myself, I cry because I will forever hate this song when this night is over.

Looking at you makes it harder
But I know that you'll find another
That doesn't always make you wanna cry

I sit, my head in my knees and think. Why did Louis sound so hurt? He left me. So I found someone else. Louis and I were never really togther.

Started with a perfect kiss then
We could feel the poison set in
Perfect couldn't keep this love alive

I shudder. I have been sitting in the bathroom for about 1 mineute, and alreamd I have stopped crying. But as I listen to the music, the tears come again.

You know that I love you, so I
Love you enough to let you go

Then I hear the bathroom bang open. I jump up and wipe my tears, then walk over to the door preparing to tell whatever girl who walked into the bathroom to go away.

I want you to know
That it doesn't matter
Where we take this road
Someone's gotta go
And I want you to know 

But it's not a girl.

It's Louis.

I back away from the door. "Go. Just leave."

He walks over to me and grips my wrists. It was so sudden I gasp, then I try to wriggle out of his painful grasp.

You couldn't have loved me better
But I want you to move on
So I'm already gone
And I'm already gone
I'm already gone

"What are you doing?!" I whipser.

He doesn't answer my question.

"How could you?" He sounds angry, but also hurt.

I'm panting because of his grasp, and when he realizes, he releases me.

When I back away to the stall, his face changes to sadness.

"I'm sorry." He says. I rub my wrist, starting to get angry.

You can't make it feel right
When you know that it's all wrong
I'm already gone
Already gone


"Sorry for what?" I spit out. "Sorry for hurting me? Sorry for ruining my night with Drew? Sorry for taking my phone and making me freak out? Sorry for cutting my foot? Sorry for telling me you loved me and then leaving me, all alone?" Those last words were shouted, while I start crying.

"How could I what, Louis? How could I find someone else, after 2 months? How could I find a guy who actually loved me? Who actually cared for me, and someone who never just leaves me?"

I start to run out the bathroom, and as I do, I shout,"Well guess what, Louis? I'm not the one who should be sorry!"

There's no moving on
So I'm already gone

Already gone
Already gone
Already gone

Already gone
Already gone
Already gone, yeah

 



I run all the way home.

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I snap back into reality when the bell rings, signaling the end of school.

"Graduation is in a week, kids! Next Friday! 7 days, exactly!" My teacher shouts as we sprint out of the room. I walk to my locker and grab my bookbag then walk out of the school, my mind on Louis.

I curse to myself. I had almost forgot. Almost healed. I was almost normal again after everything.

I guess at this rate, I will never forget.

Already gone
Already gone
Already gone

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