Hiding The Beast

I feel something changing within me. Every minute is a struggle to stay ME, not to succumb and become IT.

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1. The Beast

     There's something lurking within me. Something crawling and stirring in the black depths of my soul. It consumes me, overpowers me, takes me captive. I'm becoming the Beast...

 

     Sometimes I can break through the shroud, and for a few brief minutes, Sarah shines through. The world takes on color, and I'm no longer suffocating on the toxic fumes of despair. But the Beast doesn't like that, and my punishment is brutal. The last thing I hear before I lose myself again, is a skull-shattering roar...

 

     Everyday I lose myself a little more. The Beast grows stronger, and it dines on my humanity. It takes more to act like myself for my mother, my sister, my friends. They all see Him, slowly eroding the piece of this body that was a beautiful girl. He pulls me farther and farther away, drowning me in darkness, and using my shell for Himself...

 

     Nothing is the same. I feel a fire, a rage, building within me. Simple things anger me, beautiful things. Laughter, friendship, love. I hate them all. I relish the pain and the torture my soul feels as I rip all my compassion into shreds. The part that excites me most, though, is that the Beast isn't controlling me. I am changing by myself...

 

     I know now the "Beast" was not a beast at all. It was the REAL Sarah, trapped in an innocent, pathetic body. The Beast was simply contained, and I set it free. And oh, how sweet it feels. The power, the cunning, the hate. But what I like best about being the new me, is never having to hide it. I can let their blood run through my hands, feel their life drain before me, and never question who I am. I am The Beast.

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