Fighting For You

''I needed her. Desperately. I needed to feel her soft skin against mine, hearing her angelic voice, nuzzling my nose in her hair, feeling her smell. She was like poison to my veins, burning every nerve inside me. She could knock me to the weakest point by only giving me one simple look. I was so madly in love with her it wasn’t even healthy. She was the one I always had in my mind before dazzling of to sleep at night. She was the reason I got F on my assessments. She was dangerous. Dangerous to fall in love with''.
Just so you know: This movella contains Mature Content.


4. 4. The Rough Side





The cold air hit me as I opened the front door. If Harry did not answer my texts or calls, well then I was going to find him one way or another by myself. And my first thought of where I was going to search was his flat. I hop in my car and placed my bag on the passenger seat as I started the engine. I backed out from my driveway and started to drive to Harry’s.

I parked at the parking lot and jumped out. I started my walk to Harry’s block. It was cold outside. I took in my environment as I heard how my footsteps made connection to the ground as I walked. This side of town was rough and the houses were grey and dusty. There were graffiti on the walls and rumours about drugs and gang fights was spread from this side of town .In almost every corner, you could see a young woman with curly hair and an awful short skirt leaning against the brick wall. They had a cigarette between their zombie-looking fingers as they puffed on it. I knew what they were waiting on. To give someone a blowjob just to be able to pay the rent. That’s what all the rumours said, anyhow. And if the rumours was the tragic truth, well then it was so sad no one could ever describe it.

 People here stared at me. I got the feeling that I shouldn’t be here. I didn’t belonged to this place.Their eyes were wide open, like I was an alien who intrigued on their territory. Which I almost was. I wasn’t dressed in rough clothes or hold a foamy beer in my hand as I puffed on a cigarette. In fact, I actually wore clean clothes and had no bags under my eyes. Boys smirked and pointed at me and someone whistled as I walked by. You could hear someone shout ‘’Yeah, baby!’’ as you passed the worn grocery store. I tried to shut down everything around me and only concentrated on my destination. Harry.

Soon, I was standing in the old stairwell inside his block. It smelled from oldness and the form white tiles on the walls had started to turn into a dull yellowish colour. Just because it was an old building, there was no elevator so I made my own way upstairs to Harry’s floor. My heart was banging so hard I was almost scared it would jump out from my ribcage. Maybe this was a really bad idea, I thought. This could end up in a rather bad than good way, referring to how he had it at home. But I shook my head, I needed to see him. See if he was okay. He was actually my boyfriend and I cared about him like no one else had ever done in his miserable life.

I took a deep breath and knocked on the wooden door. Soon I could hear footsteps coming closer the door. I prayed silently to myself that Harry would be the one to open, and not his stepdad or mother. The luck seemed to be on my side, because there he was, the boy I had falling head over heels for. His eyes were wide, as if he had not expected my presence. My mouth parted when I saw his face. It was emotionless but his eyes showed something else. They were not glowing in the wild green tone as usual.

‘’Ha-Harry.’’ I barely whispered as I saw his face covered with bruises and a bloody wound on the corner of his lower lip. His nose was red, like someone had punched a hard rock fist at it. A plaster covered a bit of his jaw. His curls were messy and he seemed tired. He stepped aside, letting me inside as he closed the door behind me without saying a word.

Then we stood there. I could tell he was home alone by the quietness in the flat. It felt like the old, blue walls in the hallway contracted around me, locking me in a box. I turned around to face him. I looked at him and took in his body completely. He was shirtless, dressed in only his grey sweatpants with his black Calvin Klein boxer line showing off above the hem of the sweats. I gasped as I saw his assaulted body. A bit above his V-line and along his bellybutton, a purple-reddish coloured mark showed off. As my eyes trailed upwards, I discovered bruises and aching wounds along his muscular chest and bare arms. His paper plane necklace gleamed in the light from the hall lamp. It looked like he had been in a fight. My gaze slowly met his and his eyes were blank. It felt like my heart had been ripped in pieces.

‘’Who did this to you?’’ My voice was shaky.

I took a step closer, trying to caress the side of his jaw that wasn’t covered with the plaster but he turned away as if he was afraid of my touch, making his dark, brown curls bump slightly around his beautiful, but sore, features. Harry broke eye contact, with his eyebrows frowned. He took a steady grip of my wrist. His eyes had turned into a slightly covered dark shadow I’ve never seen before. The grip hardened and I whined a bit at the building pain. He still hadn’t spoke a word which actually scared me. When I tried to yank away from his grip, it only hardened and my eyes started to water up. This wasn’t the Harry I was used to.

‘’Let me go.’’ I whispered.

He stood completely still with my hand in level with his collar. It was like he saw through me. Like I was made of glass. Then I sensed something I had never seen before. It looked like he almost broke in front of me. His grip around my wrist loosened a bit as his eyes changed from dark forest-green to the light wild ones that I had fallen for. He dropped my hand as it remained in position down my side. I slowly stroke my aching wrist. Everything went quiet. We just stared at each other, his eyes speaking their own language. Despair, fragility, anger, pain.

‘’I’m sorry, love.’’ He mumbled, as he run a hand through is already messy chocolate curls.

‘’Tell me, Harry. Why the bruises? Why this?’’ I asked as I peered up at him again, confused by the fast mood changing. I tried as hard as I could to not stare at his sore skin but it was hard, it felt like someone had just punched me in the stomach. Who had hurt him? This wasn’t something he could’ve done by himself.

‘’I can’t.’’ His raspy voice sounded.


He didn’t say anything. I felt turned down. Why didn’t he want to tell me? I took another step towards him so our chests were almost brushing against one another as I ran my hand down his defined lines. My fingers were barely touching the exposed skin. His body stiffened under my fingertips when I reached just above his abdomen. He breathed heavily. Harry took my petite hand in his as he backed away from me. It felt like he was almost engulfing it in his grip. I glanced up, his jaw was tensed, eyes unreadable as they locked with mine.

‘’Why did you come?’’.

I was almost taken aback by the question. What did he mean? I got frustrated.

‘’Why I came? Isn’t that obvious?’’ I replied, shocked. He kept staring at me, so I continued,

 ‘’You didn’t reply on my text or answered when I called you! That’s why I came here. To see if you were still alive! And it hurts as hell when you won’t tell me what’s wrong either!’’

I realized my voiced had turned a bit louder. I didn’t wanted to stay mad at him, but when he acted so weird and asked such a stupid question straight up in my face,  I couldn’t refuse to not boil up a bit. Why was he hiding something from me?

He remained quiet, keeping his eyes shut as if he was concentrating on something important.

‘’Don’t you trust me?’’ I asked in a softer voice, hoping for dear life he did.

He fluttered his green eyes open as he just stood there for a moment. Then his low, raspy voice spoke,

‘’I do trust you. But I can’t just tell you this, ok? You wouldn’t understand.’’

I swallowed hard as my heart sank to the bottom of my core. Wouldn’t understand? Who was he kidding? I bit my lip and opened my mouth to spit something out because I was boiling at the point but nothing came out.  I looked down, staring at my toes as I felt how my eyes started to water up again. I was sad, and disappointed.  Sad because Harry was sad, and disappointed because he didn’t told me what was going on. I mean, yesterday night he said he was going to fight for our love and now he kept his mouth shut from telling me who had hurt him so bad he barely could be touched. I just shook my head and took a deep breath. I was so damn confused.

No, Harry. I won’t ever understand you, I thought to myself before I could feel how his index titled my chin up to let my eyes meet his emerald ones. They weren’t shining, no, but they weren’t blank either. They showed hurt. That kind of hurt he had been carrying on his shoulders since he had been that little kid with a popsicle in his mouth. This boy was so broken in so many different ways. But I gave him the cheek as he leaned in for a kiss, and without saying a single word to him, I leaved.

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