Together We Are Infinite

Arielle Jones has always had a hard life, with high school ending she has no idea what will come next, until a certain blue eyed gorgeous boy offers her the world. Can she really get away from her problems or will they come around and find her?

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17. Alone

 

 

Arielle's POV:

Patiently waiting Louis arrival. Wasn't much to do, so I stared at the blank T.V. screen. You know the quote "hoping for the best, but expecting the worse." Well for me, it was the complete opposite, why else would they have gotten called into Syco, it sure as hell isn't for a 'Congrats On 3rd' cake.

Why am I like this? Why can't I be happy for the one person, who loves me? He's given up everything in Doncaster to make me happy. I just can't stand the thought of not being with him. These last 3 months, I would be lucky to see him once a week, I hate being alone that much, my thoughts, they get the best of me.

You're not good enough for him.

He loves being away from you.

Now, you have no one.

Never wanted it to be like this. I thought if we had problems, we'd be able to talk about them, be able to sort it out, but I guess itès my fault. To scared to say anything because maybe he really is trying to lose me, and this is just what he needs. No wonder he's so excited, an excuse to get rid of me.

My thoughts continued, I didn't want them too, but I couldn't get them to stop.

"Babe?"

I took a deep breath and looked up to the door to see Louis smiling.

"You're never going to believe it." He exclaimed.

"What happened?" I fake smiled.

"Syco signed us! Three year contract!"

"That's amazing!" I said as Louis came to the couch sitting beside me.

"That's not even the best part." 

How fantastic, there's more.

"Since we place top 7, were going on the X Factor tour which starts in January!"

I lost it.

"You have to be fucking kidding me." I sighed.

"Nope! We'll be gone for 3 months, but this is great, right?"

"Just fan-fucking-tastic!" I exclaimed letting the anger out of my voice.

"W-why do I get the feeling you're not happy for me?

"Because I'm tired, of being alone, I'm tired of coming home to an empty flat and never seeing you!"

"What am I suppose to do about it? I thought moving away from Doncaster would help you, I thought going to university, is something you wanted!" He yelled back, now standing up and talking with his hands.

"I thought it was what you wanted too!"

"Well it's not, I actually want to do something with my life, be somebody, not spend another 4 years in a classroom. I hated high school, it was hell for me, and you know that." He said.

And as soon and those words left his mouth, regret was all over his face.

"That's not what I meant."

"Yes it is, because my high school life was so much fucking better. You know what, how about you get the hell out, go find your band faggots and leave!" I croaked, tears threatening to spill out.

"Don't do this." Louis cried.

"How is it, the one time you're here, I want you gone? I need to be alone, I need to focus on myself, I need consistency in my life, not someone I have to share."

"I can't believe how selfish you're being!"

"I know, I'm selfish, I'm annoying and I'm clingy, so get out while you have the chance." I snarled.

He left without another word, well look what you did Arielle, now you have no one. I tried so hard not to cry, but I did, and the tears, wouldn't stop. I continued crying on the couch, then moved to our- my room. All alone.

 

~*~

It's been 5 days, and today, is Louis' birthday, I apologized to him multiple times, he didn't say much just said we'll be talking tonight, I hope he'll stay for Christmas, I miss him. I haven't stopped crying. It sucks, I carry the weight on my shoulders that it's completely my fault that I could lost the one person, who gave every, too make me happy, to make sure I wouldn't get hurt, who actually loved me.

After letting that sinking in more, shaming myself, I drag myself out of bed and take a shower. Honestly, first shower since we fought. I wouldn't call it a break up, I mean sure I was being ridiculously rude, but at least I finally told him how I feel.

I just can't lose him, I'll do whatever it take to make it right.

I wash my hair, and body. Step out of the shower and dry off, put on my robe and go to the kitchen to start on dinner. I decided on pasta because Lou loved it, and it was one of the few things I could make.

Between dinner cooking and me getting ready it was almost 7:30, Louis said he'd be here at 7, probably crazy traffic, you know how it is on Christmas eve. I set the table and changed into a white bubble dress and put on a red scarf, trying to be festive.

Don't break down, you need to make this right.

"It's just the traffic." I told myself.

Louis' POV:

She was right, I was holding her back, she needs to heal and I was just fucking everything up. Shocker, it's kind of what I do. Always mess everything up, my parents relationship, my family hates me, now Arielle is hurting even more.

I didn't want to lie to her, but it's for the best. It was 1:00 am, if she's not asleep, she's crazy. I unlock our- her door and walk into the flat.

There she was, asleep on the couch, she looked so lost, helpless, alone. I knew it was my fault. I put a blanket over her and kissed her forehead, I saw her smile. I quickly backed up, not wanting her to be awake. But I watched her face again, and I knew she was fast asleep. I went into the kitchen where plates were smashed all over the ground, pasta spread across the floor, and a bit of wine.I've never felt so bad, but this was for her. I need to let her go, I need to give her the chance to live her own life, without me holding her back. I blew out the candle and then moved to now be her room. I some of my clothes and other things into a suitcase, but afraid of waking her up, I kept it to a minimal. I looked around the room one last time, it hurt, I'd never cuddle with her again in this bed, never wake up to her sweet kisses, but it's for the best, right? I quietly carry my suitcase to the front door and looked around last time.

Am I really going to do this?

Leave the one girl who loves you.

Why no just stay and make it right?

Her words hurt, but they're true. I guess I've came to a realization, we need to get our life together first, but I could never go back to her after I hurt her like this.

I walk to the couch, crouch down and kiss her forehead. I feel like I'm going to start crying. Before I let myself fall apart I leave her a letter on the table and grab my suitcase, and I left.

~~~~~Author's Note~~~~~

Hey guys,

so i'm sorry my updates have been really inconsistant, i've had a lot of personal issues within the last few months and with balacning school, it's gotten really hard.

But this is the SECOND TO LAST CHAPTER, which I will try to have by next weekend. I've loved writing it, but sometimes it feels like a burden because no one really reads it. But you who support me, give me motivation to write. I love you all and thank you so much.

BUT HOLY, DRAMA, let me know what you think is going to happen!

One more chapter, and a possible sequel if you guys like it!

Please comment, vote & follow me. <3

-Summer x,

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