Finally Me in Him

Chance never affects how life goes for someone. What decides it, is actions. Actions of one single human being either affect one or all. I know this because, my father's actions towards me, changed my life course dramatically. The most important thing I learn out of my experience was that I realized just how much an action can change a single person's life. We tend to make less of it but it really is what it is all up to. It began with a touch. And in nearly six years, it would create fear, disbelief, anxiety, brokenness, bitterness, pain, manipulation, betrayal, and scars. I never imagined that the stories told on television or in books would someday be me. Or that I would be the one discovering what love really means.


1. Redeemed


For the first time in a while, I felt lost. Our tour was going great. Each day we'd see new faces and it made me feel good to make people 

happy. But something was missing. I couldn't tell what it was. 


"Seems like all I can see was the struggle
Haunted by ghosts that lived in my past
Bound up in shackles of all my failures
Wondering how long is this gonna last
Then You look at this prisoner and say to me

'Son, stop fighting a fight that's already been won' " I heard a girl sing. 


I tore my face away from looking at the beautiful scenery of the river.  


"I am redeemed, You set me free

So I'll shake off these heavy chains
Wipe away every stain now I'm not who I used to be
I am redeemed

I'm redeemed," The voice continued.


I started to search for the voice. 

"All my life I have been called unworthy
Named by the voice of my shame and regret
But when I hear You whisper, "Child lift up your head"
I remember oh God, You're not done with me yet."


To my left, was a girl about the size of my thumb she was so far away. The voice definitely belong to her because I couldn't see anyone else

on the bank of the river. 


"I am redeemed, You set me free
So I'll shake off these heavy chains
Wipe away every stain now I'm not who I used to be
I am redeemed," 


I started to walk towards her. She was dancing around, continuing to sing.

"I don't have to be the old man inside of me
Cause his day is long dead and gone
Because I've got a new name, a new life I'm not the same
And a hope that will carry me home,"

I don't even know why I kept walking. What if she was a fan and freaked?! 


But...why can't I stop walking?


"I am redeemed, You set me free
So I'll shake off these heavy chains
Wipe away every stain now I'm not who I used to be
I am redeemed,"

I was about 500 yards away from her now. I felt chills run down my spine and tears slip down my cheeks. I fell to my knees.


"I am redeemed, You set me free
So I'll shake off these heavy chains
Wipe away every stain now I'm not who I used to be

Oh God, I'm not who I used to be

Jesus, I'm not who I used to be

'Cause I am redeemed

Thank God, redeemed,"


She turned to look at me with her soft, welcoming brown eyes. 


"You are redeemed too, Louis," Her voice proclaimed softly.

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