Erase My Memories

You would think Bethany is a typical American teen girl, until she attempts suicide. She spends a couple months in a psych ward, and when she is let out, her parents send her to live with her mom's best friend in London, who just happens to have a son her age, Niall Horan. The two become very close friends, but when Bethany gets to know Niall's best friend, Harry Styles...Bethany starts to grow attached, much to her horror. And much more, Harry too has quite the past. Can the two over-look the past and present problems, or will life itself destroy their relationship?

*Includes self harm, alcohol, sex, and cursing*

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47. Chapter 46

~~Bethany:
I finally agreed to be with him which meant I had to stay here. I know he didn’t plan this but…if I was going to let him prove this to me, I had to be here. I couldn’t be across the world in a different country.
“Would you like something to drink?” Harry asked me. I nodded and he handed me a water bottle. I gratefully accepted it and started drinking it slowly. “So what do you want to do tonight? They have a football game going on, there’s some smaller games going on over…”
“Can we just go somewhere where we can talk?” Harry nodded and we started back over to the hill where we were for a while a few weeks ago.
“Was there something you wanted to talk about?” Harry asked when we sat down on our hill.
“Why?”
“Wait, what?” Harry asked, confused.
“You hate relationships; you make that very clear so why me?” Harry looked down at his hands and sighed.
“Because you’re you. You’re perfectly imperfect and…I’m never going to forget that the day you got here, you bailed me out of jail, remembering who I was and what I did to you when we were kids. You were always so forgiving and…you’re the kind of person I need in my life. I just…won’t admit that to many people. To basically everyone else I’ll say I’m fine but to you, you make me want to be honest and to be honest, I have problems and you’re the person I want to be better for.” Harry said slowly. I smiled a little at this confession but at the same time I didn’t like it.
“You know, I don’t like that answer but at the same time I do.”
“Why don’t you?” Harry asked slowly, sounding concerned.
“Because I want you to get better for yourself; not me. What happens when I go home and I’m not here anymore to be your motivation?”
“Well then I’ll work on that too.” Harry said looking down at me.
“Good.” I nodded and finished off my water. Harry pulled me close to him so I was leaning on him and something about it felt right; like I belonged there. We definitely had a lot in common, but I knew all that, he didn’t. I wanted to keep it that way, at least for now. But knowing that for now that we were happy and we had each other was enough for me.
That night, after we both decided to leave the block party, we both went up to my room since my bed was bigger and crawled into it together and he held me close until I fell asleep.
The next morning, Harry was still asleep next to me. I smiled and kissed his cheek and wrapped my arms around him, squeezing him. He groaned a little and rolled over so he was fully facing me.
“Why…why wake me up so early on a weekend?” Harry grumbled.
“So I could hear your beautiful morning voice.” I giggled.
“That’s fucked up.” Harry said pulling me close to him. “Why do you sound so damn awake?”
“I don’t know…I just woke up myself.”
“Well then you and all your cuteness should fall back asleep with me.” Harry mumbled, kissing me lazily. I giggled, kissing him back and bringing him closer to me. “Damn woman, how much closer can you get me to you?”
“I can keep trying.” I giggled again.
“Please don’t; you may squeeze the life out of me. I giggled again and sighed into his chest. “What’s wrong babe?”
“Nothing.” I said softly. “I’m just happy you’re here with me.” Harry kissed the top of my head and snuggled us more under the blankets.
“I’m happy I’m here with you too, love. Now…fall back asleep. I’ll even sing you to sleep if I have to and I stopped singing years ago.” My eyes got wide and suddenly I was very awake. Harry can sing. I knew he used to hum a lot as a kid but I never knew he could actually sing. So why did he give it up?”
“You gave it up?” I asked slowly.
“Mhm…” He mumbled through his lips, clearly falling back asleep.
“Harry…” I said, shaking him a little. His eyes opened again and he looked at me with tired eyes.
“What babe?”
“You gave up singing…?”
“Who the hell told you that?!” He suddenly sat straight up and I almost fell out of the bed. “WHO?!”
“Harry please stop yelling…” I said, tears filling my eyes. “You told me…” I whispered, getting scared. Harry finally snapped himself back and saw me crying and he suddenly pulled me close to him, making me wince.
“Baby, I’m sorry…I didn’t mean to scare you.” You could tell he sounded genuinely sorry but that didn’t change the fact that he scared me. “I…I just don’t remember telling you and I haven’t told anybody really…except for…you know.” I nodded, knowing he meant his ex.
“You told me just now Harry…in your half asleep state.”
“Oh my god babe…I’m so sorry…I’m so sorry.” He kept repeating he was sorry over and over again until he seemingly cried himself back to sleep. I sighed, scared of what to do. I looked down at him and he looked scared…almost like a lost puppy which made me wonder what he was dreaming about. I sighed, reminding myself that I didn’t get myself into an easy relationship. I knew this one was going to take work and I knew I was ready for it. But that also meant I had to accept that he had a temper. I knew he would never hit me, but I knew he got out of control and I knew I was going to be there to protect him; I was going to be there and I wasn’t going to run.
I ran my fingers through his hair until he looked less frightened and then I snuggled back up to him, knowing it wouldn’t freak him out and slowly started to drift back to sleep.    

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